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Don't delete this article, but: the subject is the Romanian selection for the ESC 2005, not the ESC 2005 itself!!
Mijzelf
This article is about everything that has to do with Romania's participation in 2005, from its background in the contest, to the song selection, to it's performance at the contest.
Grk1011 (
talk)
15:20, 19 June 2019 (UTC)reply
Lead just about right length (edging on too long) for article
The "written and produced by Cristian Faur" probably doesn't need to be in lead, especially with how hard to read it makes the sentence. Perhaps another section about the song if there's enough info on it, otherwise they can be slotted into the selection section.
Done Inserted a note under the table.
The fragment "accused the Romanian Television (TVR), the organizing broadcaster, of conspiracy." isn't a very English formation. Could we be more accurate on conspiracy of what? I also think it could be reworded as "... accused the organising broadcaster, Romanian Television (TVR), of conspiring to..."
Done Is the sentence good now?
At the bottom of the lead, what are the "proposals" given to Anghel? Maybe, proposals to perform (hopefully)?
Done Record deal ones. I changed it.
The sentence "For the final, the public's televoting contributed with a 25% rate and a jury panel with a 75% rate to the overall result." needs rewriting, maybe: 'In the final, the televoting and jury scores were combined, with the televoting having a 25% weighting of the overall result.'
Done
"The rest of the scoreboard was as follows:" can just be "The full results were:"
Done
Writing alright, it makes sense in English, but could be improved to sound more natural.
Change "myocardial infarction" to 'heart attack', i.e. the normal name in English. (Also, it should be 'of a heart attack')
Done
Since there was only one Controversy, the section header probably doesn't need to be plural. Maybe even call it 'Loredana Controversy'
I think we can also call the drummer dying a controversy – kind of. I think "Controversies" fits here.
Again with "conspiracy" - this is general term that more or less means 'thinking about doing something bad'; what did she say they were conspiring to do?
Vote rigging perhaps? Also needs some explanation of what the continuously busy phone line has to do with anything.
I changed to vote rigging, since it's the case here, both in here and in the lead. Each participant has a "voting line" televoters can call to to vote for them. Loredana's voting line was allegedly busy, meaning people weren't able to vote for her – even if they tried. I think you may have a better forumlation here.
Promotion section could be reworked to be less of a list (it's currently "they did X Y Z A, and then B C D" without any other detail; there are at least better ways to phrase all this)
There's only one source to this, and it doesn't give any other details that could be included. Can you give a suggestion here too?
Other areas need rewriting; I've done a short sentence as an example. As is, the style isn't strong and the English is mostly technically correct but unnatural.
The sentence "On the first occasion, Anghel and Sistem performed 14th, preceded by Norway and followed by Hungary, while they sang fourth in the Grand Final, preceded by Malta and followed by Norway." needs this clarification; i.e. change "On the first occasion" to 'In the semi-final' and split into two sentences; e.g. 'In the semi-final, Anghel and Sistem performed 14th, preceded by Norway and followed by Hungary. In the Grand Final they performed fourth, this time preceded by Malta and followed by Norway.'
Done
Don't need to say "The artists' show"; just "The show" is better.
Done
What does "the group's activities" mean? Who is this never-mentioned group? What is 'activities' referring to? 'Activities' is such a general term it can literally mean anything.
The group (aka Sistem) are "wildly" drumming on oil barrels, this is their activity, but I removed it.