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Hi Piotrus, I'll be glad to take this one. Initial comments in the next 1-5 days. Thanks as always for your amazing work on Polish history topics. --
Khazar2 (
talk)
17:50, 6 October 2013 (UTC)reply
"that Sejm was the site of Tadeusz Rejtan's famous gesture of protest." -- it's not really clear in the article body what this gesture of protest was, or that it was famous; do your sources elaborate on this? --
Khazar2 (
talk)
19:56, 6 October 2013 (UTC)reply
The article
Polish anarchy links to a discussion of 20th-century anarchist movements in Poland, which I don't think is what's meant here. Is there another link that can be put here, or should this just be delinked? --
Khazar2 (
talk)
19:56, 6 October 2013 (UTC)reply
" Tadeusz Rejtan, Samuel Korsak and Stanisław Bohuszewicz, also Franciszek Jerzmanowski, Stanisław Kożuchowski, Rupert Dunin, Jan Tymowski, J. Zaremba, Michał Radoszewski, Ignacy Suchecki, Tadeusz Wołodkowicz" --it's unclear to me why this list has sublists in it-- that is, why it doesn't just list them all together instead of giving three and then saying "also". --
Khazar2 (
talk)
12:35, 7 October 2013 (UTC)reply
"notably" should probably be cut per
WP:WTW. Now that Rejtan's protest is discussed on the next line anyway, I think it's clear that his protest was an impressive standout. --
Khazar2 (
talk)
12:35, 7 October 2013 (UTC)reply
"immortalized" -- calling this painting "immortal" is a subtle value judgement, and a bit hyperbolic--what would you think of "depicted" or "portrayed"? --
Khazar2 (
talk)
12:35, 7 October 2013 (UTC)reply
"the
starostwo territories,
Crown lands would be awarded through an auction" -- I'm not sure I understand how this part fits grammatically into this sentence--can this be clarified?
"It was nonetheless a significant improvement in the Commonwealth governance" -- this seems to border on opinion/interpretation. Could you say "According to historians X and Y"? Or clarify why it was an improvement in governance?
It would be helpful to define "liberum veto" in a parenthetical or an
explanatory footnote, since it's a recurring concept in the article and would be unfamiliar to non-Polish readers.
"including from 1776 also the
hetmans" -- I'm not clear what this means--the hetmans also supervised the magnates? Or the hetmans were also supervised by the council? You might break this off into a second sentence.
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with
the layout style guideline.
2b.
reliable sources are
cited inline. All content that
could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
Piotrus, I think this is just about ready to pass. I have one more concern noted above. Thanks again for all your work on this! I've learned quite a bit of Polish history from reading your contributions... --
Khazar2 (
talk)
14:14, 15 October 2013 (UTC)reply