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Untitled
--Maddie
You're off to a terrific start and have already assembled the kernel of an excellent entry.
Here are a few considerations as you revise:
your draft does a good job of including links to other Wikipedia entries, but maybe add a few more (though, as an aside, I'm surprised Gyerim-ro as a site doesn't have an entry, maybe you can make one over break now that you have the Wikipedia entry writing superpower).
This can be deleted since the footnote tells the source for the info :"The special exhibition highlights from the Metropolitan Museum of Art explains that" Similarly "research of Kageyama, Etsuko from Kyoto University" can be omitted from the main text, but regardless if you're mentioning someone in a sentence you'd give their first name first.
Same issue as above for " International Journal of Korean History " mention in the body of a sentence.
Why is
Knowledge of the Silk Road informs that trade between Central Asia and East Asia was affluent and thriving during the 5th century, and thus the occurrence of a Black Sea area item in a Korean tomb should not come as a surprise.
its own sentence? You're making a good point, but how can it be more fluidly interwoven into the body of your other description and anlaysis.
overall the final paragraph needs to be more explicitly linked to your sword so that it doesn't seem like general background
don't forget to bring in some images from Wikimedia commons, it looks like there are some nice ones already there fortunately
Hi Madeline! You have a ton of great information about your topic here; lengthwise I think it's looking very good. Nice job linking relevant Wikipedia articles on certain topics. Your sources are reliable and informative, but you can probably take out the parts where you write the source author's name in favor of just a citation. I'm not sure if this is adding to another article or starts a new one, but a header or subheading for your writing should be added at some point. One more recommendation I have is that your second paragraph ends by talking about the appendages of the sheath and handle, when instead you might combine that piece of information with the following paragraph that talks about that aspect specifically.
Hey Madeline!
Great job! You talk about the dagger in multiple ways, from it being used as a gift, to its phsyical characteristics, and relation to the silk road. I was most curious about its history, and maybe even why it was created in the first place, since you mentioned it was once used in a burial, and also used as a diplomatic gift. Were you able to find any information on why it was considered a treasure, or why it was originally created? Great job digging into this topic from multiple ways!
Saranewcom (
talk)
02:39, 29 November 2018 (UTC)reply