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I have now completed a review of this article against the Good article criteria, and am placing it on hold pending a few points outlined below. However, as usual, this is a very good article and it should not take much to remedy these rather minor concerns. Cheers,
Abraham, B.S. (
talk)
05:16, 24 November 2009 (UTC)reply
The way Harrison's father is introduced, it seems as if he is a rather notable printer and stationer who has his own article. As this does not appear to be the actual case, it would place his occupation after his name.
I don't really read it like that just because the profession comes first, and I kind of prefer it as is because it keeps a couple of "and"s as well separated as I can make them...
If he was working for Bristol, then why was he training people to fly in Spain, Italy and Germany? Did the company/flying school expand internationally?
Clarified.
Did Harrison actually arrive in German New Guinea? The way it is written, it is slightly ambigous whether the campaign concluded before he could arrive, or he was shipped over there with his unit but the campaign had basically concluded.
Reworded.
Did Harrison skip the rank of captain, or is it just an omission from the prose?
Very welcome. Lol, yes, I had noticed that, though I must admit I explicitly picked this one as I did not expect it to possess too many problems, and it would most likely be a rather easy review. :) Well, I believe all of my comments have been addressed, so I'm happy to pass the article. Well done! Cheers,
Abraham, B.S. (
talk)
12:14, 24 November 2009 (UTC)reply
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