From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Humorous Wikipedia essay
People are always trying to get articles about themselves on Wikipedia. Usually, though, when people try to create articles about themselves, those articles are deleted almost immediately, since the person in question obviously does not meet Wikipedia's standards of
encyclopedic notability . Here is a list of unusual ideas some Wikipedia editors came up with for how you could potentially acquire significant enough coverage in secondary sources to make yourself encyclopedically notable enough to warrant an article about yourself on Wikipedia:
Climb the
Reichstag (
Spiderman costume optional)
Invade Poland .
Invade Poland from the other side .
Declare yourself
emperor of the United States .
Read the entire fifteenth edition of the Encyclopædia Britannica from beginning to end and
write a book about it .
Found a
Happyology Church.
Re-establish the
Soviet Union .
Trick the foremost doctors in your region
into thinking you have given birth to rabbits .
Arrest a
French Wikipedia admin and force them to create an article about you.
Attempt to
vanish .
Attempt to
be forgotten .
Attempt to
purge the English language of all vocabulary of non-Germanic derivation .
Attempt to
sue a rapper for
lifting your twenty-year-old tracker file.
Attempt to
sue Satan .
Follow news teams around trying to be particularly rhythmic and hope
Songify the News is watching.
Make an ass of yourself on YouTube repeatedly .
Get yourself
banned in
China ,
Iran , and the
UK .
Succeed in being the only person to not make an ass of themselves on YouTube.
Become an immortal god .
Make a campaign promise and keep it.
Jump into a volcano to prove you are an immortal god .
Write yet another
book to "prove" there could not have been a
single gunman .
Cause
a major controversy on Wikipedia itself .
Catch a rare disease.
Be nominated for an
Ig Nobel Prize .
Be nominated for a
Darwin Award .
Be wanted in forty-eight states.
Become a
Heroic Failure .
Create a law and make the penalty death.
Then break your own law and commit suicide to uphold it .
Get someone to create an article and then sue the Wikimedia Foundation over how it shouldn't be there.
Become the
first person to die whilst logged into social media .
Burn the Temple of Artemis at Ephesus just so you'll be remembered .
Undertake a practical joke that leads to questions being asked in your respective national parliament.
Remain "
Anonymous ".
Paint with a body part nobody expected .
Create
"art" from shit you found at home .
Create
your own website solely devoted to attacking Wikipedia .
Become a successful evil overlord using the plan outlined in the
Evil Overlord List .
Nominate the deletion debate on the deletion debate on the deletion debate on the deletion debate on... your troll group for deletion.
Lead a campaign for your region's secession.
Lead a campaign to prevent secession, even if nobody is trying to secede.
Find the
Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything .
Go postal .
Launch a
SLAPP (in
Trenton, New Jersey ).
Get
Justice Thomas to say something in oral arguments.
Find a cure for cancer and get it published in reliable sources.
Recursion : See: 47
Write the definitive guide to identifying
weather balloons .
Create a
killer joke .
Start rapping 6/7ths of the way through a beat.
Become the key witness in a major Federal trial.
Become an admin, put false information on your user page, let slip a few hints that it's false, wait for the media to cover it.
Make a successful career in
underwater basket weaving and then donate all your proceeds to make it a real major.
Get
your cat elected mayor of your hometown .
Discover and end a centuries old war still technically going on.
Get a bunch of Sherpas killed on Everest, but make sure your chihuahua makes it back safe.
Create a new variant on baked beans.
Rediscover the process of rediscovery.
Literally re-invent the wheel.
... and then get a patent.
[1]
Prove using financial theory that what goes up
must come down rapidly...
Make a cup of tea for every person in Belgium.
Create a cover version of a
Beatles track and get it to go viral.
Write
your own longer version of the Iliad by inserting one line of dactylic pentameter after every two lines of the original hexameter .
Write
Unreal for
NES .
Have a US Route named after you, your company, or your band.
Launch something into space just because you can.
Steal the Mona Lisa .
Steal a small country .
Steal first base, and then get a home run on your first try against a
MLB guest team.
Determine the precise chemical formulae and production process for
Baghdad
steel .
Reform
RfA on Wikipedia.
Attempt to arrest
Tony Blair for war crimes.
Use your lottery winnings to buy more lottery tickets.
Decipher the
Voynich manuscript .
Become the first gay President, Prime Minister, or
Head of Government of your country.
Take the
Tea Party down from the inside.
Produce the first
net gain
fusion reactor .
Develop a spell checker that can detect
British sarcasm .
Cure British sarcasm.
Cure being British.
Coach the
Scotland national football team to a
World Cup win.
Be the
second Scot to win
Wimbledon .
Lead
Scotland to
freeeeeedomm !
Enact the law that
legalizes
weed in your province, state, or region.
Find
Jimmy Hoffa 's remains.
Take the
first human image of the
Lacus at ground level.
Build a robot and
get Saudi Arabia to grant it legal citizenship .
Find a
cure for the common cold...
...then give it away under an
open-access model .
Present a complete translation of the
Dead Sea Scrolls in at least six major languages to the
Smithsonian or
Bodleian
Present a copy/translation of the
Necronomicon to the same.
Successfully forge a document of similar note.
Uncover the
true Monarch of England .
Create
clickbait for a living .
Become the first
psychohistorian .
Lobby the
International Astronomical Union to name the first inhabitable extra-solar planet
Trantor .
Fund the first manned space mission funded by
Kickstarter .
Create
a
usable
UI
for
GNU/Linux .
Create a new programming language based on
Esperanto .
Prove
P = NP for all cases.
Legally redefine pi as exactly three .
Predict
the end of the world . (Preferably
by planetary collision , but, really, any way will work.)
Start a
band that only uses vegetables for instruments .
Tell everyone
you have a magic golden thigh .
Die and get Jesus
to resurrect you from the dead .
Kill Jesus and
resurrect him from the dead .
Tell people you are Jesus .
Become a
porn star .
Write the
worst fan fiction ever .
Create a video game with
amazing Engrish .
Be part of a hazing ritual involving
intimate contact with another species .
Get everyone to ignore the
Coffin Handbills and vote
Andrew Jackson for president.
Be sufficiently recognized in your field of expertise (however obscure) that an entire species is named after you.
Conduct a
self-administered "eye-test" in
Barnard Castle during a
nominal
lockdown .
Simulate
life on Mars .
Pretend to be the ambassador of India in your country, convince local authorities you are, and get
a comedy movie made about it .
Create
over 200 hoaxes on Russian medieval history in Wikipedia for fun.
Promote this list to "
Featured List " status.
Create
Wikipedia .
Create a better Wikipedia, then claim you made it before this Wikipedia and sue Wikipedia into uploading your article
Get your article published as a humorous article so it doesn't need 99 sources.
Making a list like this, and I bet there needs to be references in order for this to be valid. Right?
citation needed
DISCLAIMER: Some of the ideas on this list may be illegal in your jurisdiction. The ideas on this list are only ideas; they are not suggestions. The Wikimedia Foundation and the editors involved in the creation of this list are not in any way morally or legally responsible for any bodily harm, damage of property, imprisonment, or any other negative outcomes that may result from following through with any of the ideas on this list. This is a list of ideas; this list makes no guarantees or certifications. Readers who make use of the ideas on this list may not necessarily receive an article on Wikipedia. Please contact your doctor if you experience an erection lasting more than four hours.