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I like the Brain Age 2 article a lot. I've made one miner change. All I did was put a title called, "Minigames" above the minigame paragraph.
BIONICLE233 (
talk)
23:08, 20 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Probably not going to be able to do a full review tonight. Expect details comments tomorrow. I've played the original game, so I'm not a complete stranger. Trying to look at the Gameplay section with a blank mind (not focusing on prose):
"player is as responsiveness as that of an" Wrong word form. By responsiveness, is this referring to speed?
"In Daily Training, the player can perform the Brain Age Check to determine their updated brain age." So their Brain Age is already updated or is this what Daily Training does?
"which are shown to them in a graph."
"All of the minigames in Brain Age 2 are new since the original Brain Age." "since" not the right word here. Maybe "All of the minigames in Brain Age 2 are different from those of the original Brain Age."
All in all, I think the section is pretty good. I suppose that describing all the minigames would be to much detail, while describing some would be giving
undue weight to those games.
Dabomb87 (
talk)
03:42, 6 February 2009 (UTC)reply
All done. I spent a lot of time thinking about the word "responsiveness", but I can't think of anything better. It's not really speed, as some of the minigames test the player on other stuff, too. In the Daily Training mode, one of the available activities is Brain Age Check, which after performed, provides the player with their updated brain age. Technically, the player's brain age is always changing even without the game, as it's a part of their brain. The game just tells them the new level. Same as, say, your cholesterol level. The "Rock, Paper, Scissors" is the exact name from the game, so cannot be changed. I was also wondering about listing all the minigames the same way you were. Ultimately, I just decided to leave it as it helps expand Gameplay a bit more, and it's not all that long. Gary King (
talk)03:57, 6 February 2009 (UTC)reply
Man, you should have told me you were working on this.
I'm not much for peer reviewing, but one thing - would it be possible to increase discussion of individual puzzles? I'm sure there's discussion on them, such as their scientific effectiveness or reception (for example, there's probably a review that mentions his or her thoughts on the Rock, Paper, Scissors, etc.). Also, do you plan to work on the first game? -
The New Age Retro Hippieused Ruler!Now, he can figure out the length of things easily.06:47, 6 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I asked Gary about this, and basically, it would be giving undue weight to explain every game in detail. Unless reviewers gave much more attention to one game, it doesn't make sense to explain/elaborate on a couple and not expand on the others.
Dabomb87 (
talk)
13:26, 6 February 2009 (UTC)reply
I had particular trouble with this article, as it's not as clear cut as others, such as
first-person shooters. So, I essentially decided to boil the Gameplay section down to the general modes that the game offers, and I refer to all the games as "minigames" to best familiarize the reader with the format. I think the current format definitely gets the point across fairly well. Gary King (
talk)17:21, 6 February 2009 (UTC)reply
The calculations puzzles are already mentioned in the Gameplay section, just not in detail. I had removed Virus Buster before as I don't think it's a major part of the game, but okay, I re-added it. Gary King (
talk)18:25, 6 February 2009 (UTC)reply
You said you wanted to know what to work on before taking to FAC, so I looked at the sourcing and referencing with that in mind. I reviewed the article's sources as I would at FAC. The sourcing looks good.
Hope this helps. Please note that I don't watchlist Peer Reviews I've done. If you have a question about something, you'll have to drop a note on my talk page to get my attention. (My watchlist is already WAY too long, adding peer reviews would make things much worse.) 02:13, 1 March 2009 (UTC)