Comments
No "This is a list of..." intros any more please.
WP:DASH - date ranges etc should use en-dash, not hyphen to separate.
- Consider linking the pound sign for international readers.
Three short paras in the lead - I'd consider merging and expanding.
One or two sentences in the lead probably should be explicitly cited, e.g. "historically several other offices have also been used."
Be consistent with date formatting.
Don't abbreviate political party without a key.
*Other claims should probably also be cited e.g. "During the ensuing scandal James became the first QC in British history to be disbarred." And explain QC if I were you since it's significant that James was the first of his type to be disbarred.
"in his disastrous prosecution " - a little POV? outruled, but i'll specifically cite.
See
WP:CITE for where to place your citations - where possible immediately following punctuation, no spaces.
"were found in the bushes" very euphemistic. Explain encyclopedically please!
"protest at the Anglo-Irish Agreement ." -remove the space.
The Rambling Man (
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18:45, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
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- Disastrous prosecution is anything but POV; not only was the suit thrown out but wilde was then counter-sued and jailed. The rest i'll correct. I thought all my citing was done post-punctuation; can you direct me to any particular cases?
Ironho
lds
19:01, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
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- If you wish to stick with "disastrous" then I suggest you cite it directly, thanks. As for your citation issues, "(£1.74 billion at 2003 prices[2]) on new ocean-going vessels, including 10 new battleships, and £5 million (£406 million in 2003 prices [2]) on the supporting infrastructure. [3]" has three problems out of three citations...
The Rambling Man (
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19:12, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
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- Fair enough. They all reference the same inflation chart, so i'll just cite them all together after punctuation. Could you give particular links to the date formatting issues? I assume at some point i've switched between month/day/year and day/month/year; i'm not sure exactly where. Apologies for the excess work on your side; this is the first Featured thing i've put up and I honestly wasn't aware of any issues.
Ironho
lds
19:15, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
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- No problem at all, it's why I'm here. It's nice to have constructive criticism appreciated and acted upon. As for your date formats, well it's more a case of the commas being an issue - the ones you wikilink have a comma between month/day and year while the table has no commas (and no dates are linked - which is good). So I guess I'm saying two things - (a) wikilink only the very essential dates, and (b) when you don't wikilink keep all dates consistently formatted. If that makes sense...!
The Rambling Man (
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19:23, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
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- I see what you mean. Would you be able to help with something? I'm not that good with tabling; how do I get the table in the current format (with the abbreviations) to look decent? I'm trying to align it with either the TOC or the intro, but it keeps looking like a bit-part in
Morph. I've redone the three intro para's and also cited the "historical offices" bit.
Ironho
lds
19:32, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
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Okeydokey... advice on the
current version.
- Remove the spaces between the en-dashes and the years.
- For the "key" I'd have a look at an NFL or NHL featured list for advice (sounds odd I know but...) - say
List of Atlanta Thrashers players (ignore the fact it's a bit long in tooth FL-wise - I feel like nominating it for demotion as it happens, but look at the code for the three column table - it's probably a good start for you).
- Any appropriate images you could use, just to brighten the article up a bit?
- "Unspecificed Irish Nationalist (Pre 1922) party" - try for "pre-1922"
- "Liberal Party (pre 1988)" - pre-1988.
- You still need citations for the "mini-lead" for each section.
Hope that's still helping.
The Rambling Man (
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19:48, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
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- The help is excellent; again, sorry for bringing it forward in such an unprepared state. The NFL/NHL thing; do you think I should have it in a set of tables rather than one long one, then? I've removed the spaces and cited the mini-para's. I have a few appropriate images but, similar to the tables, I cant work out how to put them in without warping the text.
Ironho
lds
20:04, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
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- Okay, well I'd have a single table with maybe three or four columns before the tables. As for adding images in then I'd look at some excellent work from (ahem) a "friend of mine", check out
List of UEFA Cup winning managers for a nice and simple way of adding images down the right-hand side, to brighten things up...
The Rambling Man (
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I'm not keen on downsized text. Most of the time it depends on the browser as to how the downsizing is interpreted and implemented. So when I can, I'd avoid it.
The Rambling Man (
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20:50, 30 August 2008 (UTC)
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Comments cont. - okay, it's been a week, so a nice review with a fresh mind...!
Expand the lead now. I know I suggested merging but that didn't mean you should only end up with one para - I'd suggest at least one more meaty para, maybe discussing some of the more interesting Stewards?
**I've expanded the lead additionally; surely the paragraphs interspersed throughout the list discuss the more interesting resignations?
- Consider an image for the lead, just to get the reader a little more interested and engrossed in the subject matter.
I reckon you can link to a decent Member of Parliament (UK) article.
Link to a decent MP article.. you mean for the intro?
""office of profit under the Crown" - the article this links to refers to it as The Crown rather than the Crown...
Place (MP) after the first use of "Member of Parliament" so the abbreviation is obvious to all.
*Some would question the (seemingly) arbitrary divisions of time periods applied here - any logic or just looks good?
I believe it was originally due to elections at that point combined with it looking good. I'll add columns linking to the 1885/whatever general election.
- With the tables in their current state, it appears a good opportunity for making them sortable - this would allow me to see how many Libs took the position for example.. but that way you'd need to merge all the tables... maybe not a bad idea.
- The tables were initially merged, but for that i'd need to get rid of the para's in between. Could I not just create an additional table with the numbers?
"the Prince of Wales. [3]" - remove the space after the full stop, per
WP:CITE.
"nfrastructure.[4] [5]" - remove the space between the citations.
"party. [6]" - remove the space.
Football pool? Usually referred to in the plural isn't it?
Suit is linked and leads to a disambiguation page. Either delink (recommended) or link to the right kind of suit.
*Force the column widths of each table (if you wish to keep multiple tables) to the same width from section to section.
One of them is forced down by an image, so i'll try and extend the para's there
"On 17 December 1985 15" - comma after 1985 otherwise this (as I'm sure you'll agree) looks a little odd..
*MPs or MP's?
This would change depending on whether i'm talking about MPs (plural) or MP's (something belonging to MPs.
*" holding one of the offices for a " - one of the offices? I'd reinforce that there are two offices which could have been occupied for this purpose here.
*I may be wrong (so check the
WP:MOS) but I think See also sections go before References?
The Rambling Man (
talk)
15:47, 9 September 2008 (UTC)
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