- Comment - Hey man, nice work, a very thorough article. A few things I noticed:
From what I understand, album cover images may generally only be used in articles about the individual albums themselves, per
WP:NFCC &
WP:NFC "minimal use".
There are some weasel words, like "the album achieved classic status among some heavy metal fans", "City is considered to be the band's best effort by a large number of fans"
- Could you help me with this one?
Some of the prose throughout the article could be tightened up a bit, the first two paragraphs seem a bit jumbled. if you remove some of the excess words, combine some sentences, and re arrange the facts, it could look somthing like this: (all wikification is left out as I just copied and pasted)
Strapping Young Lad began as a solo project started in 1995 by Canadian musician Devin Townsend. Following his work as a vocalist on Steve Vai's Sex and Religion album and tour, Townsend realized that he had been a "musical whore", spending "the first five years of [his] career working at the behest of other people". He briefly joined the Wildhearts as a touring guitarist, but was contacted on tour by A&R from Roadrunner Records, who were interested in his demos. The offer was eventually withdrawn, as the owner of Roadrunner thought his music was "just noise". After Relativity Records turned the band down for not being commercial enough, Strapping Young Lad signed a five album deal with Century Media.
After touring with The Wildhearts, Townsend began recording and producing his debut album, Heavy as a Really Heavy Thing, under the moniker Strapping Young Lad. According to Townsend, the recording process took "about a week".[2] Townsend used The Wildhearts' anarchist recording approach, "while focusing on dissonance and just being as over-the-top as [he] could." Although Townsend played the majority of the instruments on the record himself—using a drum machine for the drum tracks—some songs also featured local session musicians, including Townsend's future band mate, guitarist Jed Simon.
- more prose stuff:
"In 1997, the band embarked on a tour to promote the album; they visited Europe, the United States, and Australia." - sounds a bit weird, could be summed up to say, "The band embarked on a world tour in 1997, which included dates in Europe, the US and Australia."
"On May 30, 1998 they performed at the Dynamo Open Air festival in Eindhoven, Netherlands, then continued touring in June 1998 in Europe, the same month a live album, entitled No Sleep 'till Bedtime was released containing songs performed in October 1997 at the HiFi Bar and Ballroom in Melbourne, Australia." -- a bit long, the two ideas (festival and live album) can be split into their own sentences, the Dynamo bit could even be part of the sentence before it, such as:
"The band embarked on a world tour in 1998, including dates in Europe, the US and Australia, followed by an appearance at the 1998 Dynamo Open Air Festival in Eindhoven, Netherlands. In June 1998, Century Media released a live album No Sleep 'till Bedtime, which contained songs recorded in October 1997 at the HiFi Bar in Melbourne, Australia."
"Even though Century Media did not want to release a live record, Townsend offered to produce the album, and the record company was so impressed with his work, they agreed to release it in the end. The band closed the year playing a few more dates in Japan and Australia." -- Again its a bit jumbled, and the "in the end" is not needed. Could say somthing like "Century Media was not initially interested in releasing a live album, but impressed with Townsend's production, the label released No Sleep 'till Bedtime in June 1998."
"At the end of 1998, Townsend decided to put Strapping Young Lad on hiatus as he wanted to concentrate on his solo career, as well as his work as record producer—by 1998, he had already released two solo albums, Ocean Machine: Biomech and Infinity, and produced several other artists' albums." -- you could leave out "as he wanted". Is the hyphen needed? or could that bit of info on solo stuff be its own sentence? Plus, you mention solo albums and other artists produced just below this, could they be combined?
- Well, the next paragraph does mention solo albums and production, but that paragraph is about his work during the hiatus, between 1999 and 2002, while the previous one mentions his work before 1999.
"There were also other reasons behind the break; numerous conflicts between Townsend and Century Media and the frontman's battle with bipolar disorder contributed to Townsend's desire for hiatus. He explained it in an interview to Exclaim! as follows:" -- "there were also other reasons behind the break" is uneeded, you could say "Numerous conflicts between Townsend and Century media, and the frontman's battle with bopolar disorder were also contributing facotrs, as Townsed explained:"
Strapping Young Lad was on hiatus, and did not record in a studio, the band performed live occasionally. The only large-scale tour the band embarked on was the Foot In Mouth Tour in 2001 with Fear Factory. -- choppy, you could say somthing like "Although Strapping Young Lad was officialy on hiatus, they did perform live occasionally, including an appearance on the Foot in Mouth Tour in 2001 with Fear Factory."
"During the hiatus the other band members were also active musically; both Stroud and Hoglan recorded with other bands, and all three were involved in Townsend's solo efforts." -- you could cut some of that out to say "During the hiatus both Stround and Hoglan remained active musically, recording with other bands and appearing on Townsends solo efforts."
- But Jed Simon was also active musically during this period, so I'm not cutting this part.
"In 2002, the band only played at a handful of festivals, as Townsend did not have more time with two albums—the new Strapping Young Lad record and Accelerated Evolution, the first album of his new project The Devin Townsend Band—to write and record in just one year, while also producing Lamb of God's As the Palaces Burn." -- sounds a little confusing.. you could re structure it to read:
"The band only played a few festivals in 2002, as Townsend was busy with The Devin Townsend Band's Accelerated Evolution, and producing Lamb of God's As the Palaces Burn."
"Although Townsend stated that Strapping Young Lad might be the last album,[36] this was not the case; in March 2004 it was announced that the band re-signed with Century Media worldwide and a new album would be released early 2005" - You could cut out "this was not the case", as teh next sentence basically says that.
"The album was primarily a product of the collaboration of Hoglan and Townsend, while Simon and Stroud could contribute significantly less due to their other commitments." sounds little choppy, too - you could say somthing like "The album was primarilly written by Hoglan and Townsend, while Simon and Stroud were busy with other commitments."
"The New Black, the band's fifth and final studio album, was released on July 11, 2006. Century Media wanted the band to have a new release to support at the 2006 Ozzfest festival, so they faced a strict deadline to finish the album." That last part sounds strange, you could leave it off, or say "The band faced a strict deadline in order to release the album prior to the Ozzfest 2006 festival." or somthing to that effect.
"Their chaotic and cacophonic sound was achieved using complex time signatures..." you could leave out "was achived using" and just say "Their chaotic and cacaphonic sound featured complex time signatures..."
"Townsend was the main songwriter of the band; the first two albums were completely his work, while from Strapping Young Lad onwards all four members "tossed in riffs, lyrical ideas, and song titles",[69] but he remained the largest contributor." -- 'from Strapping Young Lad onwards" is a bit confusing, maybe say "following the thrid album, all four members "tossed in..."
Anyway, thats what I see wording wise, everything else looks great, \m/
Skeletor2112 (
talk)
09:49, 14 April 2008 (UTC)
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