This article is on Qalaherriaq (AKA Erasmus Augustine Kallihirua and many, many other names), a young
Inughuit lad who served as a interpreter (after an essential abduction) in the 1850s, converted to Christianity, and tragically died at around 22. This was my first article in a series on Inuit interpreters. I have tried to squeeze as much as I can out of these sources, and it's the kind of story I'd like to run at TFA down the line :3
Generalissima (
talk) (it/she)
22:24, 20 May 2024 (UTC)reply
Image review
Why two copies of the same image?
File:Qalaherriaq, 1850s, Inughuit hunt (cropped).jpg is missing alt text
File:Qalaherriaq_signature.svg needs a US tag. Ditto File:Qalaherriaq,_1850s,_Inughuit_hunt_(cropped).jpg, File:Qalaherriaiq_map.jpg, File:Qalaherriaq,_Buried_Esquimaux.jpg.
Nikkimaria (
talk)
04:54, 21 May 2024 (UTC)reply
Alrighty, licensing and alt-text should all be fixed. I originally had two of the same because I wanted to show both angles of the double-portrait but also thought the front-facing was the best image of him... but I was able to find a good-quality scan of an 1855 drawing of him, and that I think is a step up.
Generalissima (
talk) (it/she)
Signature is from a letter which was later stored in archives, which I guess counts as unpublished. The map I realize was not included in the book about the subject and is also unpublished. Corrected this.
Generalissima (
talk) (it/she)
06:48, 23 May 2024 (UTC)reply
(in Wolstenholme Fjord section) especially during an era marked by severe hardship for the Inughuit. some context may do well here - what was particularly hard about this era, compared to other periods of Greenlandic history? ...
sawyer * he/they *
talk08:01, 25 May 2024 (UTC)reply
A short biography, Kalli, the Esquimaux Christian, was published by Reverend Murray in 1857, becoming the main primary source on Qalaherriaq's life. i'd like to hear a little more about this biography, if there's more to write about it - what kind of impact did it have? how did it reflect the relationship between Murray & Qalaherriaq? ...
sawyer* he/they *
talk03:26, 26 May 2024 (UTC)reply
The crew encountered several abandoned igluit at the site of Uummannaq, now Pituffik. Inside one igloo, the crew found a heaped pile of seven bodies, the survivors were assumed to have fled the area without burying the dead due to an epidemic. presumably the seven bodies were victims of the epidemic, but this definitely took me a second to figure out, especially as the immediate context is looking for victims of a violent massacre. edit: it's also a comma splice
I don't think it's possible to archive, as it's paywalled by T&F. I archived the museum source tho. - G
side-note, i often wish the archiving parameters didn't strictly require the URL, so that we could avoid URL-DOI redundancy. (OR if we had DOI archiving parameters??)
also don't think the "via" parameter helps much here, and it's given inconsistently.
no issues with the sourcing quality; primary sources are designated as such and the secondary sources are mostly academic. the non-academic sources (Nunatsiaq News, Canadian Encyclopedia which is marked green, & maybe Malaurie 2003?) don't give me much pause, and seem perfectly good for what they're cited to.
spot-check:
ref 1a - yep
3b - also good
7a - yes
11a - yes
16 - yes
20 - a lot packed into this one, & it all checks out!
26 - i assume this is supposed to say p. 994, in which case it checks out (& can be merged with ref 28). poor guy :,(
Oops, fixed. - G
33 - yes, and could probably be changed to just p. 986
Fixed. -G
37 - page does not mention an autopsy but otherwise good. (the autopsy is mentioned on p. 994, so you could just add that to the citation!)
Hi
Sawyer777 and thanks for your work on this, Can I just double check that I should take this as a pass on the source review, a pass on the spot check, and a general support for promotion? Cheers.
Gog the Mild (
talk)
17:39, 25 June 2024 (UTC)reply
Suggest including the "HMS" in the ship links, looks awkward splitting it up
Fixed. - G
Forsyth was a commander, not a captain
Fixed. - G
A word or two introducing what Prince Albert and Assistance were doing in the area when first mentioned would be useful. They're currently thrown into the text a little haphazardly
Added context here.
John Ross should be Sir John Ross - also maybe a word to note that he wasn't actually part of this official search party?
Fixed. - G
The text raises some confusion over the different groups of ships looking for Franklin. Initial reading suggests that Penny and the Assistance groups (you should also note who was leading this, because it's currently unclear with the first mention of senior officers being both Forsyth and Ommanney) were separate, but we then get "Ommanney and Petersen returned..." which suggests otherwise. The text should more obviously explain the makeup of this group of ships, what it was doing and who was a part of it
Added context as above.
Considering there's no link, a word or two prefacing what exactly Prince Albert is would be useful
Fixed. - G
"Snow's" - give his full name and explain who he is, why should the reader find his account impactful?
In the article you list numerous variations of his name, but only include two here. Any reason?
There are so many that I had to trim it down a little bit; Qalaherriaq and Kallihirua are the only ones common in modern academic sources, and the latter is luckily contained within his baptismal name. The other ones are mostly minor spelling variations from period accounts. I added a brief efn here, inspired by other articles of figures with numerous names.
Lead
"victim to a British abduction": "victim of a British abduction" would be more common in BrEng, (or, even better, "victim of abduction by the British"), but is your form okay in CanEng?
I think "victim of" is more universal anyhow, so I'll use it. - G
Search for Franklin's expedition
"the Admirality launched": Spelling: Admiralty
Fixed, thank you. - G
Interpreter service
In the quote box: "Ethnology, 1875 [13]" there's a naughty little space crept in before the citation
Oops! Fixed. - G
"of the HMS Resolute ... the HMS Pioneer": we're not supposed to use the definite article before ships are introduced: just HMS will suffice
Oh, TIL. Fixed. - G
'uncivilised life."': should be 'uncivilised life".', per
WP:LQ
Ooh yep, fixed. - G
"a adolescent son": "an adolescent son"
Fixed. - G
England
"Eskimaux and English vocabulary, for the use of the Arctic expeditions": as this is a book, it should be in title case
Please picture me dodging an onslaught of popcorn as I leave these comments.
The lead is a nice tidy summary of the article
Minor gripe "describe him as victim" normally that would be "as the victim", no?
Fixed. - G
"with his family mourning him". The "with X" construction always reads a bit awkwardly to me (especially since the sentence says "with...without"). It might take some jiggling - maybe split it into its own sentence? "His family, who never learned his fate, mourned him as lost"? idk.
Does this make more sense now? - G
Side note: body says his mother mourned, lead says family. Minor contradiction but it is one so I'm pointing it out
Ah yeah fair point. Source just says "mother" TBF, so aligning with body. - G
I'd cheat that crayon drawing bigger with upright=1.5 at least. Could do the ship image too.
Good idea. - G
"A landing party, including Charles Forsyth and Captain Erasmus Ommanney went to shore aboard HMS Intrepid, followed by the other ships." - I think this either needs another comma after Ommanney, or no comma after party
Yeah. - G
4/5 bluelinks in the Cape York landing section are dupelinks (exception of Kalaallit). Not sure they're far enough away from the originals that it's justified
Good point, fixed. - G
"Qalaherriaq was described in Ommanney's diary..." this sentence is very passive voice. Not a hill I'll die on but you could revise to be more active, along the lines of: "Ommanney's diary described Qalaherriaq as readily volunteering to go with the expedition, not even returning to camp to gather his possessions."
Yeah, that works better. - G
"family; however, this account" - I think you need the semi-colon or the however but not both
Oh, yeah. I'm bad with semicolons. - G
I think para 1 and 2 of Interpreter service work better as one, since they're both on the same topic. Come to consider - are the "later British sources" you mentioned earlier after the "period descriptions" in para 2? Might want to rearrange these to be chronological
Those are the period sources (later meaning "after the expedition", but now I realize one isn't even British. Fixed this a bit.)
"Qalaherriaq's volunteering to service" the grammar here just feels awkward to me. "Qalaherriaq's decision to volunteer" perhaps?
Good point. - G
"Qalaherriaq was originally supposed to be returned to his family" per who?
Petersen, clarified. - G
3 more dupelinks here - HMS Resolute, Inuktun, and Greenlandic (you duplicate Greenlandic a couple more times later too)
Oops. Fixed. - G
I might make the box quote a little skinnier here, it feels odd to have it sticking out so far past the image (this is one hundred percent what I would call a personal aesthetic preference, so if you like it as it is, I won't be shirty)
"Qalaherriaq was the subject of..." this sentence is very long
"do not reflect Inuit mapping" - my focus is more on clothing, so I'm not sure of this, but did the Inuit have much of a written cartographic tradition? If so, how did it differ from the European style?
They had carved models of coastlines! Thank you, that's a good thing to mention. - G
"due to a recent epidemic" do we know what of? No worries if not
Sadly, the sources don't specify.
I understand the decision to use Inuit words for things that aren't common in English, but since "igloo" is the common English term, why not use it?
Yknow, that's fair. - G
you know what I always do when I come across a plague grave, I excavate it
This is once again an aesthetic thing, but having the image and quote both on the left feels odd.
I don't think I could avoid sandwiching if they were alternated here.
"Here he learned to read and write while receiving a religious education. During his time at St Augustine's, he additionally served as an apprentice to a local tailor." - you could combine these two sentences
Good idea. - G
Why stick the painting paragraph at the end, out of chronological order?
Ooh, yeah, flows better that point. - G
Poor Qalaherriaq. This is a pretty straightforward biography - just curious, is there any modern analysis or reflection about him worth including?
Just the sources I cite already; but they aren't really talking about each-other, mostly just critiquing the 19th century accounts. -G
Mostly nitpicks and gripes, no serious concerns or issues. Another excellent piece of hidden history from you. ♠
PMC♠
What an incredibly unfortunate and sad story. Nevertheless, it's very interesting and you've written it beautifully overall. Some things that I've noted are listed below; feel free to refuse suggestions with justification:
Upon the officers' return to their ships, Beck became notably distressed. - What I'm thinking here is the use of "notably" in the case of fame or being worth paying attention to, which is technically not incorrect if applying the latter definition, but I think "noticeably" is a bit better here.
When the same information about the North Star was repeated to the explorers and denied any violence against the British, Petersen was convinced that Beck had confused the information about the North Star with Franklin's expedition. - Missing a clear indicator as to who denied the violence; was it the officers/interpreters, or the Inughuits (both of whom are also assumedly explorers in this case)? Might be pedantry, but may be worth bringing up IMO.
... where the Inuk is depicted as praising European civilization ... - Is "Inuk" the antecedent for Qalaherriaq, or are the Inuk people in general depicted as praising Europeans? Within the context, it's clear what it means, but could be made a bit clearer.
Otherwise, I'm not seeing anything glaring that needs to be fixed; of course, let me know if I'm being a pedant above. Very well-done; I am personally feeling a lot sadder now having read the accounts of that poor boy :( Thank you for your work in wonderfully telling the story of a young man who definitely deserved a much, much better life.
joeyquism (
talk page)
15:23, 14 June 2024 (UTC)reply