This user is a student editor in Carleton_University/Analyzing_Cinema,_Gender,_and_Sexuality_(Fall_2019) . |
Hello, Yourstrulyy, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with the Wiki Education Foundation; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) ( talk) 17:44, 13 September 2019 (UTC)
Major revisions needed.
CropMilk ( talk) 15:36, 23 October 2019 (UTC)
Here are some sources I found:
I'll add more as I find them. Shalor (Wiki Ed) ( talk) 17:20, 30 October 2019 (UTC)
hello! Overall, not bad for your draft. Lot's of great content, some good sources. I made a few spelling and grammar edits, but overall your spelling and grammar are great. I have a few notes for improvement. First, in the early life and education section you say "Likké had the opportunity of travelling to Europe, East, West and Islamic North in Africa,[2] where she experienced various ways of life.". I would suggest expanding on this idea. You state that she had the opportunity to travel. Why? Did she travel for work? For pleasure? and what do you mean when you say "various ways of life". What did she experience and why is it relevant? If possible, try to ensure that you are using enough academic sources. Good luck!
-- Purpleoctopus ( talk) 22:13, 4 November 2019 (UTC)
This article has great specifics on the filmmaker's background, nationality and early life, as well as nominations and awards. I liked that you were able to write about her early career as a filmmaker as well. However, I feel that the content has lots of grammatical errors, mainly punctuation, so I'm assuming you maybe aren't finished yet. There seem to be unfinished thoughts and content gaps. I would recommend that you read over each of your sections and double check the grammar and organization of your paragraphs prior to finishing your draft. In addition, I've noticed that you have included multiple different citations for the same source, as 3, 4, 9 and 11 are all the exact same resource; for footnotes, you generally use the same number for the same source. I think Wikipedia will allow you to do this easily, just reuse a source instead of making a new citation each time, or else the references are improper! Also, I would suggest that you double check the validity of some of the sources you chose as it seems that many of them might not be secondary sources. Overall, I think that this article is in need of some improvements. However, I think that the break down of the sections are great, and I think that you have enough resources to spruce up your article. Your writing on the filmmaker is very interesting! Good luck :)