The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that Zennor Head,
Cornwall, is named after a woman who was reputedly washed up there after being thrown into the sea in a barrel by her husband?
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Here are some comments that I hope will be helpful. I enjoyed reading about the promontory, which I have never visited. Please let me know if anything I say below is unclear.
Infobox
Here and in the "Etymology" section Saint Senara is mentioned. The connection between "Senara" and "Zennor" is not obvious because they begin with different letters of the alphabet. It might be helpful to add a brief explanation to the "Etymology" section about how the S became a Z, if you can find a reliable source for that. I'm assuming that Ss become Zs in other names in the region, but that's just a guess.
Lead
The lead, per
WP:LEAD, should be a summary of the main text. Nothing important should appear in the lead that does not appear in the main text. The existing lead is actually an introductory paragraph rather than a summary. My suggested fix for this would be to expand the relevant text sections with material from the lead. For example, the exact length of the promontory should be included in Geography and geology" and the business about the letter "Z" should be included in the "Etymology" section, probably. The lead can only summarize what actually appears in the main text sections.
The other thing to consider when rewriting the lead is that to be a summary it should include at least a mention of the main ideas of the main text sections. The existing lead does not mention Saint Senara, Exercise Brandyball, or wildlife and is therefore not a true summary.
Are you sure that Exercise Brandyball was on Zennor Head? I thought it was on (or near) Bosigran Castle which is in western part of Zennor parsh. Commando Ridge is on the west side of Porthmoina Cove and the Brandys are just off shore.
Jowaninpensans (
talk)
20:18, 31 December 2012 (UTC)reply
"a 750-metre long promontory" - Most quantities in Wikipedia articles appear in metric and imperial units. In articles about England, imperial would be first, I think. The {{convert}} template is handy for these conversions. This one would be 750-metre (2,460 ft). Flipped to put imperial first, it would be 2,460-foot (750 m). If the number is an approximation, it would make sense to round it to 2,500-foot (760 m). (The adj parameter, short for "adjective", adds the hyphen and changes "feet" to "foot".) Done
Modern history
Being an outsider, I knew nothing about the
South West Coast Path. I clicked through to the linked article about it, and found it most interesting. I think it wouldn't hurt to add perhaps one more sentence about it to this article. The fact that it's 630 miles (1,010 km) long amazed me, for example. If a reliable source mentions how many people walk this segment of the path every year, I would include that statistic too.
Geography and geology
" between approximately 375 and 415 mya" - I'd spell out, abbreviate, and probably link "mya", like this: "mya" as "million years ago (
mya)". Also, geologists usually write the date ranges with the older date first; i.e., 475 to 375 mya. Done
Layout
It's generally best to avoid really short subsections. One of the reasons to avoid them is that it makes it difficult or impossible to insert images that fit completely into the sections they illustrate without displacing edit buttons or overlapping section boundaries. I would consider eliminating "Exercise Brandyball" and "Modern History" as subsections and just making them paragraphs of the "History" section. The plaque image would then fit nicely within the "History" section.
In the case of the "Wildlife" section, I would suggest eliminating the "Flora" and "Fauna" subheads and renaming the section "Fauna and flora". The image of the chough will then fit nicely. Done
The "Gallery" on my computer screen is split into two rows, one with six images and one with one image. It might appear differently on other screens, but it looks lopsided to me. I'd recommend using just one row. If you expand the main text at some future date, you may create room for additional images within the text.
Citations
Citations to books should include all the bibliographical details that a reader might find useful; i.e., author, title, publisher, publisher's location, date of publication, page number(s), and ISBN. You can generally find missing data, except page number(s), via
WorldCat. For example, the data for the James Dunning book, if I've picked the correct edition, is
here. The 13-digit ISBNs are preferred to the 10-digit. Page numbers would have to come from your notes or a re-check of the book. Citation 16, for example, needs a page number.
The citation formatting should be consistent throughout the article. For example, citation 1 uses a "cite" template, but citation 2 does not. Pick the format you like best.
Citations to web sites should include author, title, publisher, URL, date of publication, and date of most recent access, if all of those are known or can be found. For example, citation 2 should include the publisher, which appears to be Zennor Parish Council, and you should add an access date. The title should probably be "Zennor Parish" (map). If you decide to use the "cite" family of templates throughout the article, you could use
Template:Cite map for citation 2.
Titles of journals like Lichenologist should appear in italics. Done
Date ranges and page ranges take en dashes rather than hyphens. I ran a script to fix these.
I'll be glad to take this review. I'll do a close readthrough of the article's text today or tomorrow, noting any initial problems, followed by the criteria checklist. Thanks in advance for your work on this one! --
Khazar2 (
talk)
20:17, 1 January 2013 (UTC)reply
Initial readthrough
The lead section needs work to meet
WP:LEAD; this section should summarize all the sections that follow (including etymology and history), and contain no important information not in those sections. --
Khazar2 (
talk)
21:15, 1 January 2013 (UTC)reply
"it is flanked by two coves, Pendour and Porthzennor" -- does the "it" here refer to the village of Zennor or the promontory? --
Khazar2 (
talk)
20:32, 3 January 2013 (UTC)reply
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with
the layout style guideline.
2b.
reliable sources are
cited inline. All content that
could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
Are the cliffs formed from granite or killas - or both? Either way it's inappropriate in the lead to put 'Killas' in brackets after 'granite' suggesting that they are equivalent - they are not. cheers
Geopersona (
talk)
18:00, 23 March 2014 (UTC)reply
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