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I don't know if this should be mentioned or not, but the album art is similar to
Freak Out! by the Mothers of Invention with the speech bubbles and what not. The title of the album is also the same as one of the songs save for spelling. I guess it could be coincidence, but I thought it was at least worth mentioning.
Krazykillaz (
talk)
00:29, 10 July 2009 (UTC)reply
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Removed the word "second" as I think it bloats the sentence for no apparent reason. The word "after" (in the same sentence) already implies that Crooked Rain is their second studio album.
Add release year of the album in brackets
See above comment
"The album's eclectic nature" → "The former's eclectic nature"
Done
"while its lyrics explore" → "while the lyrics generally explore"
Done
"Wowee Zowee is Pavement's longest" → "it is Pavement's longest" but the longest "fact" is completely unsourced
It should now be sourced in the Background and recording section
The "follow-up" and "highly acclaimed" parts aren't sourced, unless [2] mentions them? If not, write that Pavement released their second studio album Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain on February 14, 1994 and keep the poll ranking
Being ranked No. 2 in the Pazz & Jop critics' poll means it was pretty acclaimed to me. I deleted the "highly" part, though. I also added a source to back up the release date.
I am aware of the level of ranking that the critics' poll is, so I believe "acclaimed" itself is appropriate language here now. --
K. Peake19:53, 13 September 2021 (UTC)reply
"ranked No. 2 in" → "ranked number two in" per
MOS:NUM
Fixed
The release date of Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain needs to be mentioned for the months later to be used as a source for recording date, plus is it eight months later an error or the infobox date since the latter is nine months later?
The source says eight months, but I wouldn't take it too literally. It is when the band decided to record the album in Memphis, not when the recording sessions actually started. The infobox is sourced to the CD liner notes.
Shouldn't you mention the recording dates in prose then add that as a source afterwards since refs in infoboxes are generally discouraged? --
K. Peake19:53, 13 September 2021 (UTC)reply
"the band recorded many" → "Pavement recorded many"
Done
"and let Malkmus sing them," → "for Malkmus to sing,"
Done
"The band really enjoyed" → "Pavement really enjoyed"
Done
"to eat barbecue" is not specific; "to eat at barbecues" or "to eat barbecue food" would be preferred wording probably, but I can't view the source so I don't know which it is most reflective of
The source literally says "to eat barbecue", but I agree that "to eat at barbecues" sounds better
[4] should only be invoked after the second of the last two sentences in the para
Removed first instance
"where the band recorded" → "where they recorded"
Done
"the previous albums," → "their previous albums,"
Done
"B-sides by the band." → "
B-sides by Pavement." with the pipe
Done
"were included in the album," → "were included on the album,"
[18] should be solely at the end of the para because it is used for all sentences after the first two
Kept the first instance because it comes right after quotation marks, but removed the other two
"a cover that he had" → "one that he had" to be less repetitive
Done
"an homage to" → "a homage to"
Fixed
"potential title for the album," → "potential title for Wowee Zowee,"
Done
Mention that Cocksucker Blues is a film and add the release year in brackets
Added documentary film but omitted its year of release because the source doesn't mention any year; it looks like the film was never released.
"on April 11, 1995 by" → "on April 11, 1995, by"
Fixed
"Fellaheen Records in Australia, and" → "Fellaheen Records in Australia, while it was released by"
Reworded the whole sentence to: "Big Cat Records and Domino Records issued the album in Europe, Fellaheen Records released it in Australia, and King and Pony Canyon released it in Japan." I think it flows much better that way.
""Grounded" and "Kennel District"" → ""Grounded", and "Kennel District""
Fixed
"Pavement" and that the band does not" → "Pavement", and believed the band does not"
Done
"continues the tradition."" → "continues the tradition"." per
MOS:QUOTE
Fixed
"and that Kannberg "sometimes" → "and Kannberg "sometimes"
Fixed
"as his colleagues."" → "as his colleagues"."
Fixed
"but citicized Malkmus'" → "while criticizing Malkmus'" though this review should be the first of the third para since it's less negative
The third paragraph is quite long already, and the Spin review is actually more mixed than positive. I think it's fine to have it at the end of the second paragraph.
"the effort and details."" → "the effort and details"."
Done
Mention the name of the CMJ New Music Monthly review if known; otherwise, attribute it to the staff of the publication
Done
"that it requires several listens to be appreciated." → "that several listens are required for appreciation."
Done
"praising the band for" → "praising Pavement for"
Done
Cut down the amount directly quoted from Christgau per
WP:QUOTEFARM
"the album had sold" → "the album has sold" plus mention this as worldwide or a specific country if the source tells us
"had" is correct because 2009 is past (I changed the date from 2010 to June 2009 after double-checking the source, though). I also added "according to
Nielsen SoundScan".
Thank you for your review. I think I have fixed all the issue you have raised and left some comments above. Please let me know if there is anything else that needs to be fixed. --
Niwi3 (
talk)
20:52, 14 September 2021 (UTC)reply