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It is a little awkward that there is one sentence for PC, and the PS4/Xbox one ports, but Switch has a separate sentence of its own. I recommend that either the switch port gets merged with the first sentence, or have all ports be on a separate sentence from the initial release.
Whilst Lella and Olga's reasons for leaving Italy are initially unknown.[8] they want to leave for different reasons; Lella is attempting to re-convene with her former kidnapper and Olga is attempting to get to France to have an abortion. ^These two sentences are a bit awkward to read together. I recommend revising.
The gameplay and premise are intertwined, which makes it harder to verify what sources are covering what. I may recommend you add in references for the plot just for the purpose of helping to distinguish what sources are covering what. Either that or separate Premise and Gameplay if possible.
I'd love to seperate, but there isn't much in terms of actual gameplay, other than driving the car, and picking dialogue options. I think everything is already sourced? Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(
talk •
contribs)16:10, 20 March 2021 (UTC)reply
When the characters reach new locations, a
cutscene with the characters placed over a postcard of the area will play. The player can visit
Rome,
Civitavecchia,
Bracciano,
Piombino,
Siena and
Viareggio during the trip, but may visit a limited range of locations per
playthrough. The player may change Lella's travel companions, dump hitchhikers, and change the vehicle Lella is driving at these locations, based on the player's choice of dialogue. ^This information isn't sourced.
Now that I had more time reviewing. A lot of the information on the gameplay and premise is redundant. The gameplay can be significantly shorter. Looking back, i don't think this is much of a synopsis and more of a premise.
Sure, I've done a cull, I think it looks a bit more like a premise with a slight bit more information that the player controls the car and some dialogue. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(
talk •
contribs)09:03, 1 April 2021 (UTC)reply
Development and release
IMHO, it's not necessary to mention that the information came from an interview or the use of "according to the developers". Can be revised to be more straight-forward.
Based on the sources used, I don't see the developers describing their own dialogue system as unique. I do see mentions of interviewers posing questions with the term unique in there, but I don't see it warranted in the article.
I've moved the bit about the dialogue up into gameplay. 16:17, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
I see Wheels of Aurelia are abbreviated to just Wheels. I noticed only one source abbreviating it to just "Wheels" so far. It's better to not abbreviate it so it doesn't cause confusion. If more sources found, mention that its sometimes abbreviated as Wheels somewhere in the article.
I don't see any mention of "Out Run" mentioned at all in the reference used for it. In addition, i don't think it should be reworded so it isn't so factual if the source is found for that.
Blue Pumpkin Pie (
talk)
17:04, 22 March 2021 (UTC)reply
There are some quotes that don't seem as important or can be reduced to simple sentences. I attempted to assist in reducing the quotes, but they can be reduced further. There is more vital information in the Gamasutra source that gives a better idea of the development of the game. Information such as how they chose to rush the development, didn't achieve what they wanted with the driving mechanics, and much more. What Riva claims is an inspiration to the game is good but its not the most vital part of the development and should be revised to being more concise. If need be, you can move one of his quotes into it using
template:Quote box.
Blue Pumpkin Pie (
talk)
23:21, 31 March 2021 (UTC)reply
I don't see Switch Player being a valid reviewer in
WP:VG/RS. I'm willing to consider them reliable for news and interviews in this case, but perhaps find another reviewer to replace. I noticed Pocket Gamer and Touch Arcade have reviews available.
I can add the others too. I can't see an issue with Switch player, which is a physical magazine release with an editorial roll. I've asked for it to be checked at VG/RS before, but didn't get much back. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(
talk •
contribs)16:18, 20 March 2021 (UTC)reply
I'll leave this one alone for now. I suspect it could be reliable, but i don't think its because it has a physical magazine (they're self-published for one).
Blue Pumpkin Pie (
talk)
19:07, 21 March 2021 (UTC)reply
No, thank you for your time and fantastic review! A little bit of backstory, this article was one of the first article I ever created from scratch, and I put so much CRUFT into it I didn't really know what I was doing. It's been on my to-do list to fix for a long time, but I'm not super familiar with the GA Criteria in VG articles. Your review made the article significantly better, so thank you for picking it up. If you have an article for review at any time, I'll let me know and I'll pick it up. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski(
talk •
contribs)20:26, 1 April 2021 (UTC)reply