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"Sell-out" could also be a tone consideration. Is there a more formal way to express it? Obviously it's fine in the quotes further down, but in the prose itself it may need to be reworded.
It may be difficult to find reviews for the Genesis release because it's so old, but surely there are enough reviews for the Virtual Console release to justify a reviews infobox. {{Video game multiple console reviews}} might work; either way make sure the Virtual Console reviews are properly identified so readers aren't confused. An infobox will let you get rid of sentences like "IGN gave the game a "solid" seven out of ten," for instance.
Is "cancelled" American English? It seems as though the rest of the article is in British English. Either way is fine, just make sure it's consistent.
Oops, it should have one l. Normally I use British English but I thought US English was more appropriate here since it's a US developer/publisher. Think that's it... there's some UK English verbatim from EuroGamer.
bridies (
talk)
05:38, 10 May 2009 (UTC)reply
Where was the game released? Make sure the regions are listed in the infobox.
The Overview section, despite mentioning the first game, doesn't explain who ToeJam & Earl are and why they've crash-landed on Earth.
It also doesn't explain that the game is a platformer. Can the characters jump? How do they avoid the Earthlings? etc.
The Development section is kind of small and only cites two sources. Isn't there any more information out there? There are some comments from the developer in the Reception and legacy section, for instance—maybe they would serve better in Development.
Development also doesn't mention the game's urban/hip-hop influence.
The article doesn't mention much about the Virtual Console rerelease. Is it identical to the original? Does it use the Wiimote? Did the developers mention anything about it?
Stability
I disagree that IGN is an online magazine. It's a website and probably shouldn't be italicized.
This article is on hold until these issues can be addressed. In all honesty, it's a little further away from GA than the other ToeJam & Earl article, but I think it's doable. The article will be on hold for one week or until all issues are addressed. As you fix something, put "Done" underneath it. Good work! — Levi van Tine (
t –
c)11:33, 27 April 2009 (UTC)reply
This article has exceeded the time allotted to it for modifications and is being failed. If the issues can be resolved in the future, please nominate the article again. — Levi van Tine (
t –
c)00:56, 13 May 2009 (UTC)reply
Future reference:
Removed citations in the lead.
Added a review infobox for the Wii rerelease and removed the scores from the prose.
Release dates are listed in the infobox.
Clarified who the protagonists are, mentioned "urban" influence etc (in overview rather than development section).
Clarified that the game is a platformer. Besides mentioning that it is so, reviewers seem to see it as kind of incidental...
I cited another source in the development section and added a bit more info on the first game for context, but apart from that the available info is pretty much covered.
The article gives as much space to the rerelease's reception as it does the original release and any more would bias the article IMO, firstly as it was a much bigger deal at the time of its original release rather than its rerelease as a retro game and secondly because it has been much maligned by commentators since its original, well-received release.
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have
fair use rationales:
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with
suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:
Lead
I still think "selling-out" is simply not formal enough. Would you consider replacing it with something like "The game was criticized for being too sharp a departure from the first game, and some reviewers felt that the developers had been more interested in the publisher's wishes than the fans'."?
Not really, I gather, but I added some info on what the subplot involves (collecting bonus items). Presumably you get a bonus cut scene for finding them all, but none of the sources say.
bridies (
talk)
06:53, 31 July 2009 (UTC)reply
Toejam "dons" clothes, another tone consideration. "Is dressed in" or "wears" may be better.
"Capturing Earthlings involves rummaging for them bushes and trees, before pelting the antagonist with "jars" which imprison the Earthling." - I think there needs to be an "in" before "bushes and trees". Also, the object in the sentence is mentioned twice with different names; consider changing the last part to "before pelting the antagonist with jars to imprison them and return them to Earth".
Is that all of the information out there for development? A game with that much anticipation would surely have been covered by many publications. You may have to dig through some old print sources.
Added another source and some more info. Generally though early 1990s sources don't offer much technical development info (being that they were aimed mainly at kids; the prose style also reflects this). These ones are noteworthy because they cover gameplay elements that ended up being ditched.
bridies (
talk)
06:53, 31 July 2009 (UTC)reply
After chewing over this for a while, I've decided that the article is comprehensive enough to pass GAN. However, if you want to take it any farther, I think more research will be necessary.
Vantine84 (
talk)
10:19, 31 July 2009 (UTC)reply
Reception and legacy
I commend the use of an infobox, but there has to be more reliable reviews out there for both consoles.
I can't really find any more. There's a Gamepro review available on retromags but it's split into 2 zip files and I can't figure out how to work them. The Mobygames press list quotes from a Gamepro review, presumably that one, but then it's not reliably verifiable. Mobygames also lists an EGM review but that issue doesn't seem to available online. Mega and Mean Machines, the main UK publications, don't seem to have reviewed it and Google news turns up a lot less than it does for the first game. There may be a couple more VC reviews around (the Shacknews one for example) but it's a question of whether to add more rerelease reviews than those covering the original game.
bridies (
talk)
06:53, 31 July 2009 (UTC)reply
This article is on hold until these issues can be addressed. It has made a lot of progress since the first GAN. It will be on hold for one week or until all issues have been fixed. Let me know if you have any questions, and keep up the good work!
Vantine84 (
talk)
09:21, 28 July 2009 (UTC)reply
"Research has suggested that a significant minority of fans favor ToeJam & Earl in Panic on Funkotron as the best in the series." I removed this section in the beginning of the article because it does not cite anything. --
Jazz Remington (
talk) 15:12, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
It's sourced in the main body. See
WP:LEADbridies (
talk)
15:17, 8 January 2010 (UTC)reply
The source does not mention any research conducted by the developers, it only states their opinion on what the fans like. I removed the section again and re-wrote the writing in the main body to better reflect what the source says.--
Jazz Remington (
talk)
17:16, 9 January 2010 (UTC)reply
Surveying fans is research, but now I notice that indeed the source in question does not explicitly mention them doing so. So I have cited the IGN source which does. Also added a secondary source (IGN poll).
bridies (
talk)
10:26, 10 January 2010 (UTC)reply
Removed "Research by the game's developers said that a majority of fans preferred ToeJam & Earl" as the article, as cited, still does not state any research made by the developers.--
Jazz Remington (
talk)
16:20, 10 January 2010 (UTC)reply
The article says: "They put out a call, not long after, to get feedback from their fans. They wanted to know whether they liked the first game or the second game, which characters were their favorites, what features they wanted to see… It's no surprise that fans clamored for a return to the series roots, and it only affirmed the way Johnson and Voorsanger already felt." Again, surveying fans is research.
bridies (
talk)
04:24, 11 January 2010 (UTC)reply
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