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There are a lot of sources right now, which I've gone to the trouble of finding, clipping, and summarizing in the skeleton version of the article (which is in this revision); I think what I'm going to do right now is trim a lot of them out (or give passing coverage to most of them) because they are going over a lot of monotonously similar content (and I don't want to write a 50kb chronicle of the St. Francis Stag Cruise). But I will leave a link here to the old revision, in case I (or anyone else) want to go back later and flesh it out more. jp× g 09:31, 18 November 2021 (UTC)
The result was: promoted by
Theleekycauldron (
talk)
02:02, 28 November 2021 (UTC)
5x expanded by JPxG ( talk). Self-nominated at 10:04, 18 November 2021 (UTC).
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Reviewer: Etriusus ( talk · contribs) 22:35, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
Templates and Tools for my own convenience:
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Common errors: WP:CITELEAD, Wikipedia:CITESTYLE, WP:PUFFERY
1. It is reasonable well written:
2. It is factually accurate and verifiable It contains a reference section, presented in accordance with the layout style guideline;
3. It is broad in its coverage
4. Is it neutral?;
5. It is stable Done
6. Is it illustrated, if possible, by
images, where possible and appropriate; Done
@ JPxG, I will be your reviewer for your GAN. I will add in suggestions piecewise as I go through the article, and I should have my first round of suggestions complete within a few hours. A cursory glance of the article hasn't found any major issues but there are a few minor edits that need to be made. Etriusus ( talk) 22:35, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
Since 1958, it has been owned by the St. Francis Yacht Club; in 1960, the club transported a lighthouse from San Francisco Bay to serve as its clubhouse, and in the same year began an annual "Stag Cruise" which continues to the present day.This sentence is run on. Please reword as its difficult to follow. Etriusus ( talk) 22:40, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
Directly to its north is the Ward Cut (a section of the Stockton Deepwater Shipping Channel), and beyond that is the Empire Tract.[3][4][5][6] It is 12 mi (19 km) miles northwest of Stockton.[4][5][6]Are all these citations necessary? It may be a violation of Wikipedia:CITESTYLE, especially since all of this information can be found within just 1-2 of these sources. Etriusus ( talk) 22:48, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
"duck pond"Is this a nautical term or just a quote from someone? If its a quote then it needs to be attributed or at the very least clarified. Something as simple as 'was described as little more than a "duck pond'" would suffice. Etriusus ( talk) 23:02, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
but was completed without a single window on the lighthouse shatteringThis isn't really notable information. Etriusus ( talk) 23:19, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
The total cost of the three-story structure, which had been at its previous location since 1906, was $3,000 ($26,244 in 2021).Please rewrite this sentence or merge it into the preceding paragraph. It does not flow well and is somewhat extraneous information. Etriusus ( talk) 23:19, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
Tinsley Island was a "chic and cozy retreat" and in 1960 the San Francisco Examiner said the "water skiing, fishing and swimming in the area are excellent"This portion reads like an advertisement more than an encyclopedia, perhaps it could be reworded but otherwise, it should be cut. Etriusus ( talk) 23:23, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
"all the modern conveniences"Again, reads like an advertisement. Etriusus ( talk) 23:33, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
partly due to club members who saw that remoteness as a virtuePlease reword. Etriusus ( talk) 23:37, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
Residents of the "stately and exclusive" island have received mail by boat since at least the 1970s.Is this sentence necessary? A periodical about the average wealth of the residents would function much better here. If there is nothing more concrete, consider removing this sentance and the preceeding paragraph
In 1975, it was said.... Etriusus ( talk) 23:49, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
In 1975and
As of 2000Are both out of chronological order. The paragraph about prices is fine to leave as is. Etriusus ( talk) 23:37, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
In 1966,and
As of 2000are disconnected from the rest of the article. Etriusus ( talk) 23:49, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
by Dave CainThe movie director? If this is someone famous, please elaborate further. If its just a random guy with the same name, then cut it, it isn't notable information.
was done without breaking any of its original windowsAgain, this may be too specific. Maybe just saying it was undamaged will suffice, assuming that's true of course.
it was said that "California menWho said this? That's a very glowing review but it may be pushing up against WP:PROMOTION. Please review other quotes to make sure they don't violate this/have proper attribution. Your use of the S.F. Examiner is a good example of how to use a quote (notable source, properly attributed). If you can't find a notable source, then it should probably be removed.
"the nothin'-but-money crowd lives on Tinsley Island"and
what might well become the Bohemian Grove of yachting"are examples of this.
For medical purposes...This quote is very well done, I quite like it and it feels appropriate since it is designated as an advertisement.
One of these boats...This sentence is standalone and likely, not notable. Maybe combining it into the earlier paragraph would be a good idea.
As of 2021, the St. Francis Yacht Club still owns and operates the island.Please include this in the lead paragraph.
Shelley, a former..Notability. Combining this with the preceeding paragraph by wording it as: ...including John F. Shelley, mayor of San Francisco and a former merchant mariner.