The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that Tim Frazier suffered a ruptured
Achilles tendon during his
college basketball career, as had his older sister seven years earlier?
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I've just completed an initial quick-read-through of the article and, in general, it appears to be at or about GA-level, so I'm moving on to the next stage and doing a full GAN review as per
Wikipedia:Good article nominations/Instructions, i.e. I'm specifically excluding a "quick fail".
I've not yet checked any citations; but putting this to one side, the
WP:Lead does appear to be inadequate, so some work will be needed to bring it up to standard; I also suspect that the Early life section may need a bit of work done.
I'm now going to work my way through the article starting at Early life, going down to the end and then returning to do the Lead. At this stage of the review, I'm just going to high-light "problems" (bad points), but later I'll produce an overall summary, which will cover the good points
Pyrotec (
talk)
22:22, 10 November 2014 (UTC)reply
Early life -
Quite a short paragraph; but I'm not sure that "He would knock down trophies of his sister" accurately describes what is going on here. The source indicates that he was going that and challenging his sister to play games (which presumably the sister was more likely to win?).
It would be helpful to state when he was there, since it does not appear to be mentioned in the article (the info box does at least give: College Penn State (2009–2014)).
It appears (?) that he was only there for two years, or perhaps played for only two years, as the section refers to junior year and senior year (also final year).
The first paragraph has "explosive final year" which appears to be in breach of
Wikipedia:IMPARTIAL.
Wikipedia:Biographies of living persons strictly applies and that calls for
Wikipedia:Neutral point of view. The quoted source uses "tremendous season", so unless you can produce a source for "explosive final year", it's going to have to be toned down to what the source claims.
What is "District 17-5A", as in District 17-5A Defensive Player-of-the-Year? This technical term needs clarifying. Also, "points", "rebounds", "steals" and "assists".
Since I cannot find any reliable sources that state that he played high school basketball for all four years, I feel like it is unreasonable to add any info about which years he spent playing for Strake Jesuit.
I have deleted "explosive final year," simply replacing it with "final year."
Points, rebounds, steals and assists are basic statistics in basketball. Seeing that a majority of the readers would have a sufficient basketball knowledge, explaining them would be unnecessary. Either way, I will go ahead and add links.
"District 17-5A" is the district/conference in which Strake Jesuit plays high school sports. I feel like most readers would assume this noting that the word "district" is used.
Temple of the Mousy (
talk)
16:13, 1 December 2014 (UTC)reply
Collegiate career -
Freshman -
What is "a team-high 34-inch vertical", it looks like unexplained jargon? Also "6-of-11" and " 4-of-5"?
A
vertical is used by scouts to measure how high an athlete can jump, and team-high signifies that he recorded a higher vertical than any of his teammates. 6-of-11 and 4-of-5 mark how many shots Frazier missed and/or made in the game.
Temple of the Mousy (
talk)
16:13, 1 December 2014 (UTC)reply
There is an uncited direct quotation:- The team coach, DeChellis, said, "(Tim) is a hard guy to contain. If he starts making perimeter shots, then we're that much better. We've seen him where he can make shots in practice and do pretty well. We just needed to get him some confidence and get him into the flow."
N Sorry, I found another one: Frazier recalled the moment, "I closed out high end so he wouldn't be able to shoot over me. (He) made a great move, pivoted a couple of times and then stepped through."
Pyrotec (
talk)
11:12, 17 December 2014 (UTC)reply
Is there a wikilink to explain turnovers? (Team-high, I know about, as its explained above). Turnovers first appears in Freshman, and I missed that one, so it aught to go there.
I had a look it up in a (paper) dictionary, so I went to
wiktionary, it also appears
Glossary of baseball (M) with a similar meaning to one of the (sports) uses in wiktionary. Since I don't know what it is being used for in this basketball (player) article, I'm adding a N.
Pyrotec (
talk)
11:12, 17 December 2014 (UTC)reply
There is an uncited direct quotation:- Pat Chambers, said in a post-game interview, "I'm very greedy. I'm an old point guard, so I want more out of Tim Frazier, if you can imagine ... what more means is even more leadership, even better habits. We're always trying to create the best habits we can for the most difficult situation."
This quote is apparently cited, seeing that it is followed (after another sentence that cited the same source) by the citation of "Frazier Leads Lions Past Radford, 62-46."
Temple of the Mousy (
talk)
01:05, 8 December 2014 (UTC)reply
N. Non-compliance with
WP:WIAGA 2.b. All direct quotations have to be cited. If you don't want to add citations, perhaps you should consider removing direct quotations.
Pyrotec (
talk)
11:12, 17 December 2014 (UTC)reply
Non-compliance with
WP:WIAGA 2.b. The first paragraph has an uncited direct quotation: Pat Chambers said, "We are thrilled for him that he will have the opportunity to finish his career strong and again place himself among the top players in the nation."
This far to short and at present is non-compliant with
WP:Lead. The first sentence is compliant, but the lead as a whole aught to be about two paragraphs long. Most of the sub-sections are single paragraphs, but they are quite long; and High school career is a multi-paragraphed.
Basketball is not one of the interests, but I learnt a few things about it reviewing this article. Overall the article is well-written and quite easy to read.
Pyrotec (
talk)
23:35, 18 December 2014 (UTC)reply
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