"The shoot was complicated as Gates McFadden was seven months pregnant" It's up to you, but I would prefer a different wording: "The filming of Gates McFadden's scenes was complicated by the fact that she was seven months pregnant at the time..."
In "
Heroes and Demons", so placed comments like Braga's in the Reception section. I think it could go either way, but at least choose one and stick to it.
Well with "Heroes and Demons" I added an additional section because of the volume of them. Normally I just slot them in the production section, but that Voyager episode was a bit unusual as I don't normally have direct access to the magazine specifically about the episode (I picked up a few early Voyager magazines in an eBay auction).
Miyagawa (
talk)
22:44, 23 January 2016 (UTC)reply
To me, that picture of Hawking is a bit of a strange one because of the prominence of the text above him. There are a lot of other pictures, so I would recommend you choose one of those.
I've swapped it out. I'd specifically chosen that one because he was using the Star Trek quote in a presentation which I thought was cool, but looking at it again it actually looks like someone has just photoshopped some text onto the image.
Miyagawa (
talk)
22:44, 23 January 2016 (UTC)reply
"Following the introduction of the Trill in this episode..." This sentence structure is a little convoluted to me, and I feel as though the fact of their introduction has already been established. I would prefer simply "the Trill later recurred..."
I would remove the sentence beginning "it was changed to a series of markings", as it focuses solely on the production of an episode of Deep Space Nine and thus is not relevant to this article.
It's too informal to refer to something as the "gayest" episode
That should have been in quotations (it is now), as it isn't a word I would use to describe something but was in the title of that actual article.
Miyagawa (
talk)
22:44, 23 January 2016 (UTC)reply
For the A.V. Club review, I would prefer you to place the letter grade at the top of the discussion of the review.
@
Johanna: Thanks for the review. I often go in a bit of stops and starts. "Heroes and Demons" for example was mostly written several months ago and then I got distracted by another article (I forget which) before I finished it and I only rediscovered the work recently. I'm kinda scatter gun in my approach to these articles simply because there are so many of them! This one for example was only worked up because "
Rejoined" is going through the Featured Article nomination process at the moment, and some of the points in that article points back to this one (that in turn was only worked up to GA originally because there was a push to improve LGBT articles at the time).
Miyagawa (
talk)
22:44, 23 January 2016 (UTC)reply
@
Miyagawa: There are a lot of articles! I'm surprised that you've had the will to even tackle the ones you have, which were pretty much
WP:ALLPLOT before you got to them. Luckily for me, there are a lot fewer Veronica Mars articles to recreate and maintain. :) Anyways, I am satisfied with your changes to the article and can now Pass. Good work!
Johanna(talk to me!)22:56, 23 January 2016 (UTC)reply
GA review (see
here for what the criteria are, and
here for what they are not)