The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that The FP is a film based around a Dance Dance Revolution style video game in which people die of a "187" after losing a dance-off?
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The opening sentence in the lead section is pretty long. Maybe separate the "supporting performances" part into a second sentence?
Some quotation marks' placements may need to be fixed per
MOS:QUOTEMARKS.
The SXSW premiere sentence can stand alone. For consistency, is there not a date for Cinefamily? Also,
Fantasia Festival can be linked.
You could move mention of Drafthouse's acquisition to "Box office" since it is directly related to the theatrical run. Also, in the lead section, you mentioned that it was the second film acquired, following Four Lions. Is this detail highlighted in a reference? If so, it should be in the article body too.
The "Box office" section is too slim. I recommend restructuring the release-based information so there is a good balance to content. For example, you could have a "Release" section with all the film festival screenings and theatrical run information, then have a "Critical reception" section separate from it. They are only related in the sense that the reviews were published at the time of the film's release, but a review could be written at the time or later, so it's not a strong or necessary relationship.
If you want, you can put in more theatrical run detail from Box Office Mojo, like how it went down to 8 theaters in the second weekend, and how long the whole run lasted.
For "References", you can add "|30em" to the template. This will allow the references to be in columns, depending on the width of the reader's browser.
You do not have to state the publisher in citation templates if the work itself is notable (blue-linked).
The official site is sufficient; I believe that official social media websites are discouraged unless they are the only option available.
Do you plan to add a "Plot" section? If not anytime soon, you could reference the official synopsis (if one exists) and paraphrase it in neutral language, or even just quote a review.
Which ones exactly? I read through the MOS but I'm not sure I see any issues.
Fixed, and the lack of a Cinefamily date was an oversight. Fantasia Festival was already linked in the section, didn't want to double link it.
Done, and removed the Four Lions tidbit as there isn't a reference relating to it.
I've been under the impression that standard practice was to have all reception underneath the release section. Not changing that yet, but will consider. Added to the box office section as well.
Done.
Done.
Are you sure about that? I've always seen both works and publishers on every article I've edited, regardless of the work's notability. I've been wrong before, but I'm raising an eyebrow here.
Removed Facebook.
I do once I get ahold of the film. I haven't watched it yet, and I haven't found it anywhere nearby or for a cheap price. I've sourced the official synopsis from the Drafthouse website and reworded it to what I believe to be a sufficient level.
Thank you very much for all your help,
Erik. You'll notice the two areas I was questioning are not exactly giant concerns, but any info on why/if I'm wrong is always nice so I don't make the mistake again. Thank you again! Corvoe(speak to me)02:00, 5 February 2014 (UTC)reply
I think you can keep the hook simple and mention the inspiration by Dance Dance Revolution. That's probably the most interesting aspect of this topic. As for nominating, it appears that you will need to review another nomination in the process of posting yours. A quid pro quo process, if you will. I can help out if you have any trouble. You can start with instructions at
Template talk:Did you know.
Erik (
talk |
contrib) (
ping me)14:35, 5 February 2014 (UTC)reply
I linked 187 to
187 (slang) since readers outside the US might be unaware of the slang meaning. The film is made and set in California so it's probably not a coincidence.
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
This review is
transcluded from
Talk:The FP/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer:Onel5969 (
talk·contribs)
00:58, 10 April 2014 (UTC)
I'm going to give this a once over first, as I've just discovered these check lists for GA Review. Then I'll go section and section to offer more specific directions.
GA review – see
WP:WIAGA for criteriareply
Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose is "
clear and
concise", without
copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
Overall good, but with a few areas where there are awkward constructions.
The lead is not a summary of the whole article, e.g. critical response, production. Too much plot summary. The layout is fine. Some folks might be offended at the line regarding fellatio, since it doesn't really add anything to plot discussion. The cast list is fine.
Lead much better now (I tweaked it just a bit). Question which bothered me before and I didn't write it down, you mention that it opened to positive reviews. Were they ALL positive. If not, you should change the wording to "mostly positive", it's a bit confusing between "early screenings", "the premiere" and it's release.
The way it's worded, I thought, was to illustrate that the early screenings were positive, as it's later clarified that "Upon its theatrical release, the film opened to mixed reviews." Every review I saw from either South by Southwest or Fantastic Fest was positive, so adding "generally" or something would be kind of presumptuous. Corvoe(speak to me)01:00, 14 April 2014 (UTC)reply
I took a bit of issue removed the fellatio bit, since the film literally ends with the camera panning up over it happening, but I've reworded it in a more mild manner. Corvoe(speak to me)02:57, 10 April 2014 (UTC)reply
well sourced for the most part, however, most of the sources are close to the project (other than reviews).
I'll continue to search for more outside sources. I'll further be adding production notes whenever I get my hands on them, which doesn't help my case, but alas. Corvoe(speak to me)01:38, 10 April 2014 (UTC)reply
poster has fair use data; fp shot is free; not sure the fair use rationale for the other pic is a valid one. However, there are very few illustrations in the article overall.
This has been a serious obstacle. I've been searching high and low for any fair use images on Flickr and elsewhere, and have come up largely empty-handed. Most images of the filmmakers and premieres have been posted by Drafthouse Films, and they've claimed all rights reserved. Also, why is the screen cap of Sean Whalen questionable fair use? It's used for commentary and discussion on the film. Unless I'm taking that too literally, which there is a very good chance of. Corvoe(speak to me)01:38, 10 April 2014 (UTC)reply
Just went over it again. Needs one more copy edit pass (left the note on the review page). Once that happens, I'll be happy to upgrade it to GA.
Onel5969 (
talk)
20:02, 13 April 2014 (UTC)reply
I have revised it once more. I'm not entirely sure where the issue is with the one ellipsis I used. I took out the extra criticism of acting and costumes, just to get to the negative point. Do you think it should be restore? Other than that, I hope it's up to standard! Corvoe(speak to me)02:29, 15 April 2014 (UTC)reply
Everything looks good. My comment about the ellipses, was not that you used them incorrectly, but according to
MOS:ELLIPSIS, you didn't use them enough. I don't necessarily agree the MOS, but if that's the standard you might be judged over... I'm going to change one, to show you how I read the MOS. Let me know your thoughts. In the meantime, I'm moving it to GA status.
Onel5969 (
talk)
03:38, 15 April 2014 (UTC)reply
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
GA status
Why is this article categorised as a Good Article when it clearly failed its review
here? Its reviewer, @
Onel5969: closed the review with the remark, "Don't think it's ready for Good status yet, don't know how to resolve the image issue. But it's not far away." If this isn't resolved or there's no discussion in 24 hrs I'm going to boldly remove the GA category from the article. Cheers,
Baffle gab1978 (
talk)
20:36, 26 June 2014 (UTC)reply
Thanks for replying Corvoe; yes I did think it was rather odd. I'm happy the review was properly passed, thank you for moving the review text to the proper place. Hopefully it will avoid similar confusion in future. :-) Cheers,
Baffle gab1978 (
talk)
22:01, 26 June 2014 (UTC)reply
@
Baffle gab1978: Sorry I haven't responded to your message, was a bit busy today. In the interim, I see you found where it was passed to GA status, and my apologies regarding where the conversation was, I'm still relatively new to this. And thanks for your copy edit work on the article.
Onel5969 (
talk)
22:50, 26 June 2014 (UTC)reply
Under the photo of the old Texaco station it says that it's been demolished, but I live in Frazier Park and it's still there. It has a fence around it now and it's been painted beige. It's still unused, but still there.
WertMooMoo (
talk)
08:06, 30 August 2014 (UTC)reply
@
WertMooMoo: Sorry for the late reply. That information was based on one of Jason Trost's statements in the commentary. I did some more digging and found that it is, in fact, still standing. Thank you for catching this!
Sock(tock talk)14:45, 18 September 2014 (UTC)reply
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