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The
antoninianii of Tetricus were the most frequently imitated prototypes for
barbarous radiates This entry is otherwise so good, that these terms (though they are explained if you click on the Wikilinks) need brief expository
appositives, like mini-definitions, to explain the sentence to numismatic dunces, like me.
Wetman 19:39, 9 Mar 2004 (UTC).
External links modified
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GA review – see
WP:WIAGA for criteria
You can start addressing any points I raise immediately, but I will be offline until Monday. If you disagree with any of my comments, don't hesitate to argue them - I'm willing to be persuaded. Once complete, I'll be using this review to score points in the 2018
wikicup.
Argento Surfer (
talk)
21:26, 19 January 2018 (UTC)reply
Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Lead
"the murder of Victorinus" - suggest "the murder of Emperor Victorinus" for clarity.
Done
"by the influence of Victoria, the mother of Victorinus" - I think "by the influence of Victorinus' mother, Victoria." reads more smoothly
Done
History
"before Emperor Victorinus was murdered" - I think "when Emperor" sounds better.
Done
"After Victorinus was murdered, his mother, Victoria" - "Victroninus' mother, Victoria," avoids repeating "Victorinus was murdered"
Done
"elevated to co-emperor during the last days of Tetricus I's reign, but this is disputed" - by whom and why?
"one reaching so far into Gallic territory as to reach the Loire." - repetition of "reach". Maybe change the first instance to "stretching"?
Done
"There are two accounts of the occurences there." - the second one is attributed to "modern scholars", but the first is left vague. Is that the contemporary account?
Done
"modern scholars believe this to be imperial propaganda" from which empire?
Done
"coins of Tetricus I and II, to " - comma not needed
Done
Numanistics
Most of these sentences contain the phrase "his bust on the obverse". I think it would be more engaging to remove this repetition with something like, "seven featured his bust on the obverse, with the reverse showing a __, __, ... or a ___." Same with the coins with his face.
Done
" depicted Tetricus I and Tetricus II, his son, together" - "his son" isn't needed. Lineage was established in the previous section.
Done
"Jugate busts of both on the obverse" is repeated twice. I suggest combining these sentences.
Did a cheeky little ce, auto ed, checked for dupe wikilinks and changed date to year in the biblio; all edits suggestive, rv as desired. Regards
Keith-264 (
talk)
13:01, 8 March 2018 (UTC)reply