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BetacommandBot (
talk)
19:27, 5 January 2008 (UTC)reply
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Ohh! it's a baseball player! A sport I don't know well...
Details:
U of M section, 1933 subsection, the first sentence of the first paragraph uses "As ... , as..." which is repetitive. Consider changing. Paragraph also uses 'again' a lot, might consider changing a couple of them out.Y--
TonyTheTiger (
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16:47, 24 January 2008 (UTC)reply
Same section, other sports subsection. The section sentence seems unencyclopedic. Not sure how to word it though.
Yeah, I did. Great to see you catching my typos. Reviewing before the caffeine totally hits my system hurts my typing skills, in case you hadn't noticed
Ealdgyth |
Talk18:04, 24 January 2008 (UTC)reply
Later years section, consider mergeing the short choppy last paragraphs.
I moved the death up to the end of the first paragraph, since that was talking about the senior Petoskey. Made more sense to merge it there.
Ealdgyth |
Talk18:04, 24 January 2008 (UTC)reply
Great article guys. I did the nasty n-dashes for ya'll and fixed a couple of typos. Otherwise it looks great except for the couple of prose things I've noticed above.
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. You know the drill!
Ealdgyth |
Talk15:44, 24 January 2008 (UTC)reply
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