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Reviewer: Vortex3427 ( talk · contribs) 09:20, 13 November 2022 (UTC)
AfteringAfter
He drew admiration for Shaun Hutchinson's videos"drew admiration"? You could rephrase this into something like, "he was inspired by the idea of forming a personality through a mixture of both commentary and gameplay after watching the videos of Shuan Hutchinson, another YouTuber."
Intending to review this soon.
Through Hutchinson's videos,You could probably drop this.
After his gaming attempts, Cassell registered his gaming YouTube channel...Cassell registered his main...
His YouTube channel was built onOn YouTube, he uploaded
Call of Duty,.Remove comma
He specifically came to prominence...you could probably drop "specifically" here, and add "with his videos on".
and the release of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and the Call of Duty: Black Ops "zombies" modeYou could rephrase it as "with his videos on Grand Theft Auto 5, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 and the Call of Duty: Black Ops "zombies" mode".
through an emailYou could remove this part, as it's not necessary
He quotedDid he quote himself? Maybe "he said"
making gaming videos a full-time careerThis reads awkwardly. Not sure how to fix this, maybe "as a full-time career" or "...full-time career as a gaming YouTuber
After passing 500,000 subscribers, his content featured Minecraft gameplay for the first time, titling Let's Play series such as The Minecraft Project and Trinity Island, as well as the Twitch series Mianite where Cassell forms a storyline through the game with fellow streamers, such as Jordan Maron and Sonja Reid.. Break this into two sentences, with a comma before "titling". Start the second sentence with something like "His Minecraft Let's Play series included..."
as a hobby, using his school holidays to make them in his free timeseems to be redundant
As Eurogamer reported on his growing popuarity, Will Porter commented thatDoes the reporter need to be mentioned there? Maybe break this up into two sentences
During this experience"At the convention" would be clearer
...Cassell made connections between the YouTube community and video game criticismI had trouble figuring out what you were saying here to the point where I had to check the original source. "Video game criticism" reads as the concept here, and I didn't know you were referring to video game journalists. You could change this to something like "...Casell drew video game journalists' attention to the YouTube gaming community"
in which he said"and said". You could also break this off into another sentence
most subscribed gaming commentator and directorDirector? Even if that's what the (Daily Mirror) source says, we haven't mentioned anything about him being a director in the article. It would probably be fine to just say "most subscribed gaming commentator"
The same channel"It" or "the channel"
cumulativelyI think "cumulatively" is misplaced here.
Dowling noted"Dowling said". It sort of sounds like you're saying this in Wikipedia's voice rather than as Dowling's opinion
entertainment company 3BlackDot"entertaiment company" is vague. Is it possible to elaborate more on what this company does? A quick Google search says it does marketing and production. You also mention later in the article that it developed a game
Cassell later reached one billion views on his gaming channel in late 2013."He reached}} Later is redundant here
interview frominterview for
commented on Cassell's viewership as havingsaid Cassell had
embark on vlogging between his residencebetween his residences. Is it also relevant to mention that his vlogging was on a seperate channel here, (as said later in the article) if that is mentioned by the sources
as part of the dealsMight be redundant
start a vlogging career, as it opened to new venturesstart of his... and opened new ventures for him
cited thatSaid that or noted that? I don't think "cited" really works here
after four years of his gaming channel had been registeredfour years after his gaming channel had been (or was) registered?
where he passed the channel for Riot Games to the record beforehanddo you mean before Riot Games reached the record? Can you phrase this to be clearer?
cumulatively according to a Wired interview"culmatively" is sorta redundant. Also, did Wired say this or did he say this in the interview? Otherwise, you could just attribute it to him or say "according to Wired".
In November 2015, His gaming channel was nearly at 10 million subscribers, in which Wired noted was more than the channel for Beyoncé at the time.decapitalize "His". You could also make such an observation for all other channels then under ten million subscribers, not just Beyoncé.
In the view of his uploading schedule and gaming content,Is this needed? This is already specified by the subheading and specifies gaming-related content throughout the paragraph.
mainatinedmispelled. You could say "maintained his schedule of..." or "uploads"
had chosenchose
that brought aboutwith
PC gamer,no comma
and presented"presented" doesn't work here
In correlation with this presence, he concludedThis is awkward and could probably be shortened. Could you rephrase this to be more concise?
advised"advised others" or "said"
alteraffect
He spokeHe said
a personalitythe personality of the streamer
to felt tired fromto grow tired of
Casell expressedfelt
the genre's negative aspectssuch as?
one of the hisone of his
Although this was the case,Although what was the case? Isn't he authentic by depicting his habit of alcoholism in his vlogs
In an interview with the BBC, Cassell spokeCassell said
and in spite of this,"but"
acknowledged that he feelssaid that he feels
due to his encounters with fans, in proportion to his popularitymaybe just "due to his popularity and his encounters with fans"
Despite efforts of becoming a YouTuber, Cassell said that the outcome of his growth was worth the effort.Despite the great efforts in becoming a YouTuber, Casell said that the outcome and growth was worth it.
His motivation for content creation prominently originated through goals, where he initially wanted to sustain an audience to work at a video game company.Split into two sentences... "He set goals for himself, which became his main motivation for content creation. He initially wanted to sustain an audience to work at a video game company."
Such goals include as channel viewership and subscriber milestones"His goals included..." and remove "as"
as his first milestone to 1 million subscribers was considered a prominent achievement in his careerThis might be redundant, as you've already mentioned subscriber milestones as his goal
In consideration of his success, Cassell expressedConsidering his success, Cassell felt
consisted ofconsists of
to his desire of aninto in
where he started with a gaming computer he bought using his money from McDonald's.The body says he purchased, more broadly, gaming equipment with the money.
In 2008, he received a capture card to record his gameplay, and was inspired by quick montages of video game clips.Do we need this sentence? This paragraph is already plenty long, anyways
where he signed to the network through a contract offer to produce monetized content for the first time.Shorten this
During the growth of his online presence,Redundant, remove this for length
The further success of his Twitch channel made it becomeHis Twitch channel was the first
Both of his YouTube channels have a combined total of 12.2 million subscribers and 2.7 billion views."His two YouTube channels"
The business wasis?
inspired frominspired by
interpretedbelieved
prominently supported byPrimarily due to
similarly featured in the mobile game Marvel Avengers Academy as the voice of Lokijust voiced Loki
for the premiereat the premiere
He had raised ₤75,000He raised
comprisesis comprised of
He initially contacted the record label at a charity event, and was broad about his choice of music.Split this up into two sentences. Maybe "The album had a variety of genres"
and quoted thatand said
and explained that he reconstructedand he reconstructed
more gaming-like spacesomething feels off about this. Maybe "gaming-oriented space"?
called his residence adescribed his residence as a
that fans have gained synthesis from their findings through Cassell's college route and Google Street View to trace his place of residence"that fans have traced his place of residence though Cassell's college route and Google Street View"
as he had separatedseperating
in partas part
of the #MeToo movement.This should be wikilinked to #MeToo movement rather than Syndicate (internet personality)#MeToo movement.
She spokeshe said
same citythe same city
Cassell denied the allegations, where he attributed the situation asdescribing the situation as
He arguedsaid. This is his claim