The text of the entry was: Did you know ...that in Steve Morrison's first year as
Brother Rice defensive coordinator they won a
MHSAA football championship and in his first year as
Western Michiganlinebacker coach one of his linebackers led the nation in
sacks?
Current status: Good article
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BetacommandBot (
talk)
19:27, 5 January 2008 (UTC)reply
GA Review
Before I go any further, a few things need to be fixed.
Steven Craig Morrison (born December 28, 1971 in Farmington, Michigan) is a retired professional American football linebacker who played for the Indianapolis Colts of the National Football League from 1995 to 1998 and who now serves as the defensive coordinator for the Western Michigan Broncos football team. - The sentence should be broken up into, Steven Craig Morrison (born December 28, 1971 in Farmington, Michigan) is a retired professional American football linebacker who played for the Indianapolis Colts of the National Football League from 1995 to 1998. He now serves as the defensive coordinator for the Western Michigan Broncos football team.Y--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTD)
00:48, 25 March 2008 (UTC)reply
He had excelled as an All-Big Ten Conference inside linebacker from 1990 to 1994 for the Michigan Wolverines, whom he served as captain. - Should say, He had excelled as an All-Big Ten Conference inside linebacker from 1990 to 1994 for the Michigan Wolverines, where he served as captain.
I disagree, the phrase modifies the antecedent Michigan Wolverines. The antecedent is a sports team not a place. If the phrase University of Michigan is desired in its place, then where would be correct, but unless the sentence is rewritten so that the phrase is modifying UofM I believe it is correct as is.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTD)
00:52, 25 March 2008 (UTC)reply
A source is needed for this line, After attending Brother Rice High School in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, he spent five years at the University of Michigan where he excelled as an inside linebacker.
If Ameer Ismail and Bill Miller do not have articles, their names should not be wikilinked.
I agree Ismail should not be linked because there is no expectation that he will have an article since he has not to my knowledge become a professional football player. However, Bill Miller is a former defensive coordinator and still active as a coach. An article on him should exist and would survive a
WP:N challenge.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTD)
00:59, 25 March 2008 (UTC)reply
I'd also like to see more about his personal life and early life. Right now the article would fail as it is not "broad in coverage".
Nikki31121:39, 24 March 2008 (UTC)reply
The article needs some work. I agree more personal information could be added. The exact birth date of his child, in my opinion is completely unnecessary. Although, I must say the writer of this article did a great job for the minimal information that is out there for him. He really dug into the facts, and I think he did a great job.
GA Failed. After about two weeks, there have only been two edits, and all of the concerns were not fully address. I'm sorry, but I must fail this article. iMatthew200800:22, 8 April 2008 (UTC)reply
He now serves as the defensive coordinator for the Western Michigan Broncos football team. - it needs to be elaborated that whether this is college or professional football
After retiring from professional football as a player, he began a coaching career by performing as defensive coordinator for Michigan High School Athletic Association football champion Brother Rice High School (his high school alma mater) for two years. - this makes no sense, the punctuation throw the flow of the sentence (read it aloud and you will see), reword
He was inducted in the 1995 Hall of Fame class that included among others Shawn Respert - the among others should be after Shawn Respert with a comma after Respert
As a junior who played both fullback and linebacker, he was sidelined for the remainder of the season with a knee injury in his third game, but the team went 7–2 in for the season despite his loss. - "injury" not loss
The team had been ranked as the number three high school team in the Detroit Area by the Detroit Free Press in its pre-season poll and Morrison had been hailed as a blue chip athlete entering his senior season in the same pre-season summary. - split this sentence, its too long
Despite the playoff success, they changed coaches as Lindy Infante took them back to the 1996-97 NFL playoffs with a 9-7 record, only to fall in the wildcard game to the Steelers again. - comma before as
How did he end his NFL career and transitioned to his high school defensive coordinator career? Its not clear in the prose.
I think the sentence I put in the wrong place confused you. After moving the sentence, the prose now says he was waived in 1999 and began coaching in 2000. That seems pretty clear to me.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM)
06:45, 22 January 2009 (UTC)reply
In 2008, after defensive coordinator, Bill Miller left to be the Louisville Cardinals football linebacker coach, - remove the comma before the name of Miller and the final comma should be a period
Position coaches, Mid major Defensive coordinators and non-All Pro football players get little media attention. This article is a fairly complete synthesis of
WP:RSs.
As per
WP:FORMAL we should use formal terms suitable for an encyclopedia apart from direct quotes. winningest is an informal term, and as such does not have the tone required for wikipedia.
also
As per
MOS:COMMONALITY we should try to use forms of English that are universally understood by all speakers of English. winningest is an American English term, that is not common (or correct) in other forms of English. Of course, we must never change from US to UK (or vice versa) as that would fall foul of
MOS:RETAIN and American English will always have priority over all other forms in this article, however victorious is not an exclusive word for one variety of English, it is a universal term and as such is preferred to any term exclusive to one variant of English.
Spacecowboy420 (
talk)
10:42, 12 January 2016 (UTC)reply
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