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Seattle: Thanks, I've given it a copy edit - I'm not sure what had happened as there was some sections that had been moved around, one which had lost a citation and well... some of my typical mistakes (repetition of certain words and too many "However,"'s etc). Hopefully I'm eliminated those now. Sorry for the delay - I got distracted by work on the
Gene Roddenberry and associated articles.
Miyagawa (
talk)
18:49, 16 April 2015 (UTC)reply
Comments
I've gone through with a copy-edit. Here are a few remaining comments:
Roddenberry wasn't enthusiastic about the idea I thought he was dead? Aside from the first and last sentences of this paragraph, it needs a copy-edit.
I've overhauled that paragraph. I realised in hindsight that it was daft to mention the death and then talk about stuff that happened before he died.
Miyagawa (
talk)
19:02, 23 June 2015 (UTC)reply
Roddenberry opposed the story in the film I'm not sure what this means
In his book, Jewish Themes in Star Trek, Rabbi Yonassan Gershom states that the two are different in their approach, saying that Roddenberry wanted to disprove God's existence whereas the William Shatner directed The Final Frontier sought to take God seriously with the novelization of the film showing that the original intention in the film was to show all manner of religious expression on the final showdown with the God-like figure in Sha-Ka-Ree I don't know what you're trying to say here, but it needs a copy-edit
The last paragraph of "Novelization" and the entire "Reception and legacy" section need a copy-edit, from a third-party source. Otherwise, if the prose doesn't shape up, I'm failing this GAN.
Seattle (
talk)
23:57, 9 June 2015 (UTC)reply
Sorry - I missed the original comments. I think I've answered them and in addition I've given the reception section an overhaul and general edit.
Miyagawa (
talk)
19:02, 23 June 2015 (UTC)reply
I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable passing this as its currently written. Get this article copy-edited from a third-party source, and renominate. Formally, I'm failing this due to section 1(a) of the
good article criteria, which states that prose must be "clear and concise".
Seattle (
talk)
16:03, 27 June 2015 (UTC)reply