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Nominator: Pokelego999 ( talk · contribs) 23:23, 11 June 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Ca ( talk · contribs) 13:52, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
Hi, I will be reviewing this article for the
July Backlog Drive! Since I am still new to GA reviewing, only having done 2 reviews prior, an experienced reviewer will also be taking a look. Of course, feel free to raise concerns or ask questions.
Well written?
The article is professionally written and is understandable for most audiences. However, I did find some places that could be improved for clarity and a broader audience.
Lead: Firstly, I feel as if the leading sentence is a bit clunky. I recommend taking out the bit about Pocket Monster, since it is a lesser known expansion of pokemon, and is irrelevant to Snorlax itself.
- Fixed. Missed that when I did my initial edits to this article. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 18:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
In its English-language appearances, it was originally voiced by Michael Haigney, Ted Lewis and currently James Carter Cathcart.
Does this mean Lewis and Haigney were both voice actors in the original English release or that Lewis came after Haigney?
- Removed, as a lot of that information isn't in the body, and I forgot to remove it when I removed the uncited material in the article. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 18:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
Conception and characteristics: An earlier design, nicknamed "Kabiin," highly resembles Snorlax and Nishino, and is thus believed to be a beta version of Snorlax.
Consider changing "beta" to "earlier" for those unfamiliar with software development terminology.
...appearance or features as a means to make the characters more relatable to American children
"as means to" sounds awkward here. How about simply "to"?
...localizer Bill Giese renamed the species Snorlax
"renamed" might confuse readers, since the Japanese name stayed the same.
- Changed simply to "named the species in American releases..." Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 18:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
lackadaisical
Consider linking this word to wiktionary
via breeding a Snorlax that is holding Full Incense
Clarify Full Incense is a in-game item
Snorlax is a highly sleepy Pokémon, known for constantly sleeping.
Both say the same thing, one clause is redundant here.
Appearances:
Snorlax is among the handful of Pokemon to possess a unique Z-Move. In Snorlax's case, it can use Pulverizing Pancake as long as it is holding Snorlium Z and knows Giga Impact
This is a bit overwhelming for those who didn't play pokemon. How about adding labels like
"Snorlax is among the handful of Pokemon to possess a unique attack ability Z-Move. In Snorlax's case, it can use its ability Pulverizing Pancake as long as it is holding the item Snorlium Z and knows the skill Giga Impact"
- Reworded. Let me know if this description suffices. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 18:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
Promotion and reception:
Following earthquakes, Niantic boosted the spawn rates of Snorlax in affected prefectures in order to boost tourism in the area
In which game?
- Can't believe I forgot to include that. Fixed. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 18:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
A road in Las Vegas was named after Snorlax
Recommend wikilinking the city
IGN editor "Pokémon of the Day Chick"
Is Pokémon of the Day Chick a series of article or something? Clarification is needed.
- They're an author going under a pseudonym. Not sure it's necessary in the article given that many other pseudonym-based authors without known identities often don't have this kind of clarification. Let me know what you feel should be done, in this case. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 18:31, 2 July 2024 (UTC)
- I recommend removing the name since it doesn't help readers identify the author and only causing confusion. "Pokémon of the Day Chick" does not appear to be a notable figure. Ca talk to me! 07:22, 3 July 2024 (UTC)
- I replaced this reference with one from Den of Geek, a reliable source per WP:VG/S. The ref was an accidental duplicate as is.-- Kung Fu Man ( talk) 11:01, 3 July 2024 (UTC)
Media and the Make-believe Worlds of Children
clarify this is a book.
Submitter Craig Turvey ended up winning the competition
take out the self-evident "submitter"
Manual of Style:
I feel as if the second paragraph of the lead could be merged to the first one or be expanded. The bit about Pokémon Sleep is awkwardly tacked on, and I don't think it's mascot appearance in an obscure game is all that notable. Maybe it could be added to a prior paragraph mentioning "spin-off titles like as the mascot of Pokemon Sleep"
. Consider including some more details about reception too.
- I expanded out the lead. I don't think with what we have though we can push it much bigger than that sadly.-- Kung Fu Man ( talk) 11:30, 3 July 2024 (UTC)
Nitpick: Ref 17 has a cite error. Although not required by the criteria, it would be nice to have consistency in linking publication and adding all the basic parameters like publisher, author, date, which some citations lack. Ca talk to me! 07:22, 3 July 2024 (UTC)
- Fixed.-- Kung Fu Man ( talk) 11:01, 3 July 2024 (UTC)
Sources
I did a search in multiple places in Japanese, Korean, and English and this article is very comprehensive, there is not much more info to add before running into WP:DUE concerns. Good job. 👍
Spotchecks: As of this revision Ref 11, 46, 55, 25, 44, 35 verifies the claim.
Ref 40 is good too, but clarify that Snorlax isn't unique in this.
I used a translation software on Ref 2, and I couldn't find any mention of the part where it says ...inspired in behavior and appearance by veteran Pokémon game designer Kōji Nishino
.
- I've added another source clarifying that Nishino was the inspiration. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 00:20, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
- The new source verifies it, thanks. Ca talk to me! 05:15, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
The bit about Kabiin contains weasel wording, when it os just one source's analysis. I was concerned about the Valnet source TheGamer, but it is reliable post August 2020, according to WP:VGRS.
- When I read the source, I interpreted it as simply stating a commonly held consensus. I may be wrong of course, so if you feel it needs correction I'll do so, but weasel wording wasn't my intention. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 00:20, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
- I don't think it is a commonly held consensus since it is only found in one source, and the source does not cite anybody else.
- TheGamer says Kabiin
somewhat resemble Snorlax
, so you should make the wording closer to the source. Ca talk to me! 00:41, 5 July 2024 (UTC)- @
Ca I've reworded it. Is this good or do you think it should be changed further?
Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 (
talk)
01:20, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
- It's good, thanks. Ca talk to me! 05:11, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
- @
Ca I've reworded it. Is this good or do you think it should be changed further?
Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 (
talk)
01:20, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
As for the bit about the Earthquake spawn increase, I recommend using these sources instead since they have more context and is in English. [1] [2]
- I've added them alongside the original source. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 00:20, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
ref 24 has the wrong publisher, its ComicBook.com, not GAMING
- Comicbook.com does this with the auto-cite and I miss it sometimes. Thanks for the catch. Has one ever considered Magneton? Pokelego999 ( talk) 00:20, 5 July 2024 (UTC)
Reliability:
I don't really like the amount of listicles cited, but I guess there is not much you can do. A lot of Valnet are cited, but it is OK for basic claims.
Potential sources: I did find some sources that may be useful, although it's up to you if you want to include them.
Other criteria
Article is neutral; it would be quite hard to get an article about a Pokemon not to be neutral. The reception accurate summarizes opinions, which are positive. I actually recommend taking out "mostly" in Snorlax has received a mostly positive response since its debut
since no one had a negative opinion of it.
Minor close-paraphrasing here:
Despite its size, Snorlax is such a docile Pokémon that children use its large belly as a place to play
, recommend removal or rewrite.
Earwig copyvio checker returns no concerns.
Article is stable.
I have concerns about the
WP:NFCC for the Kabiin image. The policy requires it to supply the original author Identification of the source of the original copyrighted material, supplemented, where possible, with information about the artist, publisher and copyright holder, and year of copyright;
, but the file page does not, saying "unknown".