In my opinion, this still needs a lot of works to fulfill GA requirements. See
Wikipedia:Good article criteria, particularly criteria 1a, 1b, 2a, 4. One of the main concern is that it reads a lot like a promotional material, with heavy use of
praise-filled words to describe the subject. Such wording may be appropriate for Strait Times articles written to highlight the subject, but aren't good for Wikipedia. In addition, the grammar isn't solid in many places, please consider asking someone to copyedit the article. There are many simple lists (directories of schools, churches, etc.) without much context. A lot of citations are missing author, title, date, publisher, and need to be fixed. Please see below for more details. I'll put the GA review on hold for seven days, and then we'll see whether this article can be realistically passed. Thanks.
HaEr48 (
talk)
06:21, 27 January 2018 (UTC)reply
Detailed
The town is made up of four neighbourhoods: just name them here if only 4.
Neighbourhood is the wrong term. There are seven subzones, which are listed below. If you think listing the subzones are better I'll move it soon.
1.02 editor (
talk)
12:24, 30 January 2018 (UTC)reply
"Fishing villages and rubber, pepper and pineapple plantations flourished in the area in the old days" => This has nothing to do with the etymology of “Sengkang”?
“Sengkang's rich history became the theme for its future – Town of the Seafarer” -> this sounds like marketing. Please reword using neutral words, and/or specify who used the phrase “Town of the Seafarer”
"Sengkang's rich history became… Three neighbourhoods carry .. other three will reflect the past when sprawling plantations covered parts of the area". Inconsistent tense. Please use the right tense throughout this paragraph.
“there are 384 HDB apartment blocks with 39,982 units in Sengkang New Town” . Is "Sengkang New Town" the same thing as Sengkang? Or is it a subset? Please explain
“In October 1999, a steering committee … ” This paragraph is (1) too wordy and (2) too vague. Please make it shorter. Focus and be more specific on what was actually accomplished by the committee
"bring life through the town" please use a more neutral, encyclopedic way to phrase this.
Done as above
In general, the “Highlights” is full of writings that reads like a commercial (too tiring to list one by one). Maybe because the source is a newspaper. Please rewrite and use more neutral, descriptive tone rather than praising the town or the planners. See examples from GA towns here
Wikipedia:Good_articles/Geography_and_places#Places.
"integrated into a building complex to allow seamless travel" less promotional tone please. Other than being connected to a bus interchange, are there other notable things about this station?
Removed a duplication further up in the summary of the "Transportation" section that had the same promotional tone, and added opening dates for the station. ~ KN2731 {
t ⋅
c}
03:09, 4 February 2018 (UTC)reply
"Sengkang is well connected to many parts of Singapore and getting into and out of the town is relatively easy": this is subjective. If it’s an opinion of a reliable source, please attribute it.
According to
WP:NOTDIRECTORY. “Simple listings without context information” are discouraged. I see many such simple listings in this article, e.g. in “Education”, “Places of worship”, “Sengkang Town Centre”, “Sengkang Town Centre”, “Welfare Services”, “Community Centres/Clubs”, and so on give lists upon lists without much context. Either remove them, or convert them to a prose that contains less indiscriminate information
"Politics" -> before launching into the details of each constituencies and elections, please begin this section with a summary paragraph, so that the reader can expect what’s coming next. Even after reading the whole section it’s unclear to me, how many constituencies are there, which part of Sengkang they correspond to, who are the MPs and which parties they’re from.
The first para is not clear enough. (1) Outside Singapore, people might not know what "GE2015" means, and (2) it's not that the whole Sengkang is part of four constituencies, it's divided into parts that each is part of different constituencies.
HaEr48 (
talk)
07:51, 30 January 2018 (UTC)reply
A lot of references just say ‘“Archived copy". Archived from the original on [date]’, without including the author, publisher, original date, title, etc. Please fix.
Many references are still incomplete. You need to include at least author (if any), title, date (original date, not just retrieved date), publisher (not just domain name like hdb.gov.sg, but include the name of the publisher). If possible include the "|location=" e.g. Singapore. For books you need page numbers.
HaEr48 (
talk) 07:25, 13 February 2018 (UTC)--
HaEr48 (
talk)
06:21, 27 January 2018 (UTC)reply
A lot of essential info (as I requested above) are still misssing from the citations. See ref 2, 30, 37 and more. Also, please address maintenance tag such as [citation needed], [page needed], replace sources tagged as self-published.
HaEr48 (
talk)
07:07, 15 February 2018 (UTC)reply
Done Removed the ref with the self-published tag completely. I couldn't find any reliable source that gave a comprehensive description of the Punggol Rural Centre, so I rewrote the affected paragraph with earlier refs to place greater focus on the Kangkar/Sengkang area. ~ KN2731 {
t ⋅
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08:49, 23 February 2018 (UTC)reply
Found one more cn but removed the entire statement because it appears unverifiable. Tags should be completely settled now. ~ KN2731 {
t ⋅
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10:54, 25 February 2018 (UTC)reply
@
1.02 editor: I updated the bullet points above. Strikethrough means I am satisfied by the update, please look at the rest (in some cases I left new comments). Also, I'm planning to give a second round of comments, maybe tomorrow.
HaEr48 (
talk)
07:51, 30 January 2018 (UTC)reply
@
HaEr48 and
1.02 editor: I'm removing this altogether since I can't find anything that distinguishes between commercial and residential subzones. Anyway, I have a hunch that only six subzones are residential since Lorong Halus North doesn't have any residents, but well this is
WP:OR. ~ KN2731 {
t ⋅
c}
09:43, 17 February 2018 (UTC)reply
@
KN2731: Thanks, that makes sense. But now you need to explain the discrepancy between "the six residential subzones" in para 3 of "History" and the seven subzones in the Subzones section.
HaEr48 (
talk)
05:59, 18 February 2018 (UTC)reply
Looking at
Template:Neighbourhoods of Sengkang New Town I'm pretty sure those are the six "residential subzones". It appears that "neighbourhood" and "subzone" are distinct terms and shouldn't be used interchangeably. However I don't have access to newspapers older than myself (the current cited newspaper articles are only available at certain NLB libraries), so verifying that might take a while. ~ KN2731 {
t ⋅
c}
07:03, 18 February 2018 (UTC)reply
Thanks for working on the article. I gave it another read, I think in order to have broad coverage like GAs for places in general it is missing some information
Demographics: Please explain the population. Seem you have numbers in the infobox. Also include it in prose, as well as details like race, religion, language, education level, etc. if available.
Politics: Other than general election, is there local politics? It doesn't seem like Singapore have mayors, but is there a body that's in charge of local governance?
Geography/notable places: Good job describing the main roads, rivers and public transportation option. But in general, what is in Sengkang? Is it primarily a residential district (looks like it), or business district (e.g. offices)? Number of residential buildings are discussed a bit in history, but maybe a more systematic discussion is needed in Geography as well.
HaEr48 (
talk)
06:13, 8 February 2018 (UTC)reply
I'm satisfied with the current state of the article, so passing now. Thanks for all who participate. There are some minor fixes to be made to the references. Please include more info for citation 3, 39, 50, 51. Also, please expand acronyms such as HDB, LTA, KKH in citations, because these are not well-known outside Singapore.
HaEr48 (
talk)
04:35, 26 February 2018 (UTC)reply