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Hello, I am reviewing this article over the next couple days to see if it meets the GA criteria. I will be performing noncontroversial copyedits and cleanup during that time. I do not fail articles just because they are left "unfixed" for 7 days; however, I do like to see some work going on, or a note explaining that there will be an absence of editing so I will know you have not forgotten. Thank you!
Okay, I'm back now!
Review as of 13:50, 2 March 2011 (UTC)
Overall, I think this is a very good article, just some of the paragraphs are rather short.
Just noting that I've merged some of the short paragraphs into bigger ones.
Copyediting / grammar / style tweaks
On the 1st sentence of the "Military career" section, you have two parenthetical elements side-by-side. That is poor style.
They're not parenthetical notes, that was his title (see the London Gazette citation).
Biographical
Can you find the date and location of birth for Barrons?
No. It's nowhere on the web, at least not in anything resembling a reliable source (and I haven't even found an unreliable one).
Referencing / factual accuracy
In the 4th paragraph of the "Military career" section: "He was promoted to colonel in June 2002.[10]" This does not correlate with
this source, which says that he was appointed to colonel in December 2001.
The latter source is wrong. The London Gazette is the official record of all commissions/promotions/decorations etc and it says 2002. It's not uncommon for officers to serve six months as a local (ie acting) colonel before substantive promotion, but that's a combination of guesswork, OR and SYNTH on my part.
HJ Mitchell |
Penny for your thoughts? 04:10, 2 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Not quite, it was released this time last year! ;) It's also in the article already.
Oops. I've seen people do this before, I guess it's my turn now! I don't see where in the article the estimate of the number of Taliban leaders and followers is.
Reaper Eternal (
talk)
13:50, 2 March 2011 (UTC)reply
Interesting. That's scheduled for the end of the month, so I'm inclined to wait til then. Hopefully they'll publish the speech or it'll get some media attention and I'll be able to add something.
HJ Mitchell |
Penny for your thoughts? 13:42, 2 March 2011 (UTC)reply