This article must adhere to the biographies of living persons (BLP) policy, even if it is not a biography, because it contains material about living persons. Contentious material about living persons that is unsourced or
poorly sourcedmust be removed immediately from the article and its talk page, especially if potentially
libellous. If such material is repeatedly inserted, or if you have other concerns, please report the issue to
this noticeboard.If you are a subject of this article, or acting on behalf of one, and you need help, please see this help page.
This article is rated GA-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following
WikiProjects:
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Biography, a collaborative effort to create, develop and organize Wikipedia's articles about people. All interested editors are invited to
join the project and
contribute to the discussion. For instructions on how to use this banner, please refer to the
documentation.BiographyWikipedia:WikiProject BiographyTemplate:WikiProject Biographybiography articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject U.S. Congress, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of the
United States Congress on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.U.S. CongressWikipedia:WikiProject U.S. CongressTemplate:WikiProject U.S. CongressU.S. Congress articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject United States, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of topics relating to the
United States of America on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join the ongoing discussions.
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Politics, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
politics on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.PoliticsWikipedia:WikiProject PoliticsTemplate:WikiProject Politicspolitics articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Women, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
women on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.WomenWikipedia:WikiProject WomenTemplate:WikiProject WomenWikiProject Women articles
2006 campaign issues
A couple of things:
The "Issues" section that someone has added needs sources, else it should be removed.
If we are going to have an issues section, I think it is worthy of note that unlike her opponent, Kilroy did not complete her NPAT for
Project Vote Smart.
FactCheck has
an article debunking a GOP add concerning Kilroy's position on taxes. Might be worth incorporating into the article.
This discussion is
transcluded from
Talk:Mary Jo Kilroy/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the reassessment.
The article is outdated and does not have a comprehensive and broad coverage of her Congressional career or any other facts within the last two years. The article lacks information on her voting record and/or the bills she has supported or sponsored and it lacks the same comprensive structure for the time since she was elected that was used when the article attained GA status--
Joebengo (
talk)
19:54, 10 June 2010 (UTC)reply
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with
the layout style guideline:
B.
Reliable sources are
cited inline. All content that
could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
Under congressional career, it can be original research to pick and choose which bills she voted for. More significant would be the bills she introduced or if she were the lone or one of the few votes to vote against the majority of her party. Otherwise, in every Congresswoman's or Senator's article, you would mention if they voted to go to war with Germany in 1941.
I get your point, but for a junior legislator with little legislative track record (little to put in this section) it is probably a decent placeholder set of votes. Look at what the section would look like without it.--
TonyTheTiger (
T/
C/
BIO/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:FOUR)
20:50, 4 July 2010 (UTC)reply
Under the 2008 election, there is undue weight (paragraph) about the types of late ballots. Try to collapse this into text or consider whether it is pertinent.
I am ready to pass the article. However, I ask that you fix the references so that they are all the same format. Many are similar. I think the prose for the congressional career is a bit weak. I am also uncomfortable with the original research like decision to pick and choose which votes she voted for but I want you to get the recognition of a GA so I will not insist.
RIPGC (
talk)
03:24, 5 July 2010 (UTC)reply
A list of some of the ones in a different format are in Tony's user talk page. Ok, I can see why #2 is different but look at the later ones. Sorry to be so picky but references are considered by others to be very important.
RIPGC (
talk)
03:08, 6 July 2010 (UTC)reply
(Moved from my
user talk page)
Can you go over it very carefully? There are some areas that could be worded better. One place mentions "Congressional Bill". Bill is a name but bill is a proposed law. Reference 82 is an editorial but people get flak for using editorials since you can always fine one for and one against almost anything. Some sentences are missing a comma.
I am also concerned that you are picking and choosing which votes she voted on. If this is done for other politicians, the length would overwhelm the article.
The choice of topics is odd. Why mention the Sierra Club? Are they more important than the Cincinnati Enquirer? There are many other areas that the article is ok or a little better. Is it good?
The Sierra Club was the only notable endorsement I could find in the newsbank service that I had access to at the time I wrote the first version of this article. I do not have access to the Enquirer at this time.--
TonyTheTiger (
T/
C/
BIO/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:FOUR)
07:45, 13 July 2010 (UTC)reply
Try to improve it. Rather than say she has a short congressional career, why not outline her life then see how the article compares with the outline. How has the local paper covered her? I've asked another user to help. I see that you are in a contest and I want you to win!
RIPGC (
talk)
06:24, 13 July 2010 (UTC)reply
I agree that this is "almost" there. Tony, please check again for consistency of caps. Vice Presidency should be capitalized if we're referring to the office Joe Biden holds--same with Presidency if we're referring to the other one. School board presidency. Etc. There are a number of awkward moments, and a few npov (I took one out in the lead). Some could be left in, with additional explication: for example, while she won by a substantially improved margin, but so what? How do your sources explain that, or what do they make of that? Pictures need dates, especially the one in front of the veterans monument in Columbus. There is also a lot of jargon that needs to be linked or explained to non-US readers, to whom much of this system is incomprehensible. There was also one place where the punctuation came after the citation; I couldn't fix it without an edit conflict with you.
auntieruth(talk)15:21, 13 July 2010 (UTC)reply
well it's obvious that she won by a substantially improved margin, but what did the reporter say this meant? Is this indicative, for example, of a sea change in the voter attitudes? Was it anti-Republican party response? ??? So what? Was it a better campaign, new campaign manager, more funds? To what did the reporters attribute her substantially improved margin?
auntieruth(talk)20:33, 16 July 2010 (UTC)reply
"Kilroy was one of the four candidates to receive the endorsement of the Franklin County Democratic Party." It says earlier there were 18 candidates; were there four that got endorsements? Should say one of four then.
"After regular ballots were counted, Pryce led Kilroy by over 3,500 votes..." This paragraph should probably come last to make it chronological; at first I thought she was trying to bring in conservative voters after the election, which I'm pretty sure is wrong.
I'll leave it as is, but here are my thoughts: I don't think it's appropriate to have half the lede of a sitting U.S. Representative consist of her campaign/election history, as imo it trivializes the actual job. Since she hasn't been in office long, a summary of her previous work experience is appropriate. A summary of what she's accomplished might also be appropriate. Some include a geographical description of the District. Anyone interested in campaign history can simply scroll down. It's simply a matter of weight and emphasis: what's really important about someone who's a sitting U.S. Representative.
Flatterworld (
talk)
15:40, 27 October 2010 (UTC)reply
External links modified
Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just added archive links to one external link on
Mary Jo Kilroy. Please take a moment to review
my edit. If necessary, add {{
cbignore}} after the link to keep me from modifying it. Alternatively, you can add {{
nobots|deny=InternetArchiveBot}} to keep me off the page altogether. I made the following changes:
When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true to let others know.
This message was posted before February 2018.
After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than
regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors
have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the
RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{
source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).
If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with
this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with
this tool.
The comment(s) below were originally left at Talk:Mary Jo Kilroy/Comments, and are posted here for posterity. Following
several discussions in past years, these subpages are now deprecated. The comments may be irrelevant or outdated; if so, please feel free to remove this section.
Comment(s)
Press [show] to view →
;Comments
Please expand the lead to conform with guidelines at
Wikipedia:Lead. The article should have an appropriate number of paragraphs as is shown on
WP:LEAD, and should adequately summarize the article. Each time she's tried for an office should at least be mentioned.
In all honesty I could have done my remarks better. I saw this was up for GA and started jotting down things, even if I corrected some errors listed I didn't want to remove them in case I missed one because I didn't look at anything too hard. Once you feel something has gone void feel free to trash the comment.
The hidden comments should be dealt with one way or another.
Would it be possible to specify what she did to work through college? Did she work as a counselor at a high school, at a rescue home, for the earlier mentioned hospital?
Currently the article says "Kilroy paid her way through college, at hospitals, as a waitress and as a counselor". The reference offers no further detail. Where does this resue home topic come from?--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM)
06:03, 24 December 2008 (UTC)reply
Mostly dust and bits stuck in my head. I just wasn't sure if it went a bit more detailed into her college jobs anywhere, but that doesn't seem too important.
§hep •
¡Talk to me!04:49, 25 December 2008 (UTC)reply
Kilroy is
Roman Catholic. doesn't seem to be the best way to end the personal section. It doesn't flow with everything else, might want to try a transitional phrase or word.
Newsbank should only be linked on its first use; same for the other Publisher='s and Work='s
Although in the text we assume that the reader has read a prior link, we do not assume readers read every citation. Thus, I have always repeated links in distinct refs. It seems to be agreed as acceptable.--
TonyTheTiger (
t/
c/
bio/
WP:CHICAGO/
WP:LOTM)
04:52, 24 December 2008 (UTC)reply
Please try to keep <ref> spacing the same some instances had a double space before and after the syntax resulting in too many spaces. Also, watch spacing in general; there were/are instances of double-spaces between words in sentences.
As I was typing this I did some minor copyedits so some of the comments above may have been fixed. But I didn't look too hard into it while I was editing it.
§hep •
¡Talk to me!04:48, 23 December 2008 (UTC)reply
Ah, this is a much better read then I remember it, well done. I just have a couple more irks:
"Kilroy paid her way through college, at hospitals, as a waitress and as a counselor,[1] earning her bachelor's degree in political science from Cleveland State University in 1977 and her J.D. from The Ohio State University in 1980." This sentence feels run-on-ish. What does "at hospitals" mean in that context? if it's not necessary then removing it would fix the sentence flow issue.
"Also, Kilroy is Roman Catholic." Very weird flow, makes the paragraph have an 'oh i almost forgot' feeling to the reader, which doesn't work in an encyclopedia. If it's not overly important and the infobox is good enough then remove, if it is important for her try to establish it as such.
Last edited at 22:10, 27 October 2010 (UTC).
Substituted at 23:22, 29 April 2016 (UTC)
External links modified
Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 2 external links on
Mary Jo Kilroy. Please take a moment to review
my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit
this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018.
After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than
regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors
have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the
RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{
source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).
If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with
this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with
this tool.
I have just modified 2 external links on
Mary Jo Kilroy. Please take a moment to review
my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit
this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018.
After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than
regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors
have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the
RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{
source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).
If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with
this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with
this tool.
I have just modified 9 external links on
Mary Jo Kilroy. Please take a moment to review
my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit
this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018.
After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than
regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors
have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the
RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{
source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).
If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with
this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with
this tool.