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Lead needs work. No one-sentence paras, and certainly not five paras in total, probably three for an article of this length. Done
The "would" thing needs work too. In the lead no fewer than ten times is "[Lancaster] would". This I think is an artefact of USEng. I would simply translate "and would go on to play in" into "and played in". Tighter and less wordy. Done
"The Seals," no clear indication who these are. I would avoid nicknames in the lead. Done
" After 18-months with " no need for hyphen. Done
"would soon get to itch" certainly not encyclopedic. Done
"would soon ... would soon" repetitive. Done
"The Hammerheads" see above. Done
"would be Lancaster's next destination" sort of reading like a tabloid. Done
"would try his hand" again, not encyclopedic. Done
""from the in the third round. FA Trophy (unlinked) Done
"round.[44][3]" ref order. Done
"at Eton Park.[47][42] " order. Done
" ultimately helping RMI " not sure. Whether he helped or not is probably POV. Done
"when he played replace "when he" with "and" Done
"a remarkable comeback" certainly looks remarkable but POV, any quotes to support it? Done
"to do some coaching at a high school" - "to coach at a high school" Done
"due to Atlanta already having their"-> "Altanta already had their full quota of international players so they passed on Lancaster.[6][82]" (ref order too) Done
" Back at the coaching camp there was a player who knew" reads like a story, keep tone neutral. Done
"g season.[82][6] O" ref order Done
" in minutes in the process," does this mean "most minutes played"?? Done
" for USL First Division club Atlanta Silverbacks" both overlinked. Done
And here you don't insert "the" in front of the club name while previously you did (and I found it awkward). Done
"the move came around after he had impressed against Atlanta in the previous season's U" you've pretty much mentioned this in the previous section. Done
"three year deal " -> "three-year deal" Done
"as they ousted" tone. Done
"season, he played" and instead of he. Done
"resounding " no need. Done
" opening the door to a potential transfer" no need. Done
"September," either semi-colon or add "as" Done
Miami FC. overlinked. Done
" Rochester Rhinos on the opening weekend of the season.[116][113] " Rhinos overlinked, ref order. Done
"ultimately helping" or "helping" seems to be all-to-often used in the article. Done
" former club Atlanta Silverbacks in " overlnked. Done
I think I've done all of the above. It was tough to find anything on his retirement but I've found something that mentions it plus some coaching he did.
Starvinho (
talk)
21:23, 16 April 2020 (UTC)reply
Check all online refs have either publication or accessdate (or both). Done
Loads of spaced hyphens in ref titles, should be spaced en-dash (per
MOS:DASH). Done
Scorelines (e.g. 3-1) should be en-dash too (e.g. 3–1). Done
Avoid SHOUTING in ref titles. Done
Footballers from Wigan is a category yet Wigan isn't mentioned once in the article.