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A fact from Mario Salcedo appeared on Wikipedia's
Main Page in the
Did you know column on 6 August 2022 (
check views). The text of the entry was as follows:
|
The result was: promoted by
Evrik (
talk)
15:28, 31 July 2022 (UTC)
The article notes: "For the past 20 years, Mario has run his investment company year-round from on board five start cruise ships, most of them from the luxury Royal Caribbean International. He reckons he's been on about 1000 cruises in that time, chalked-up some 6000 nights at sea, and spent in the vicinity of $1.4 million(US) doing so."
Created by Cunard ( talk). Self-nominated at 09:11, 5 July 2022 (UTC).
Well, congratulations on making the DYK with this article, and it seems adequately referenced. But I'm struck by the tone of this article. It is jarring in comparison to other, typical Wikipedia offerings. Mainly, I would say that it is very staccato. It consists of very short declarative sentences with a lack of cohesive narrative to tie them together. I feel like I've just been bombarded by hundreds of facts like so many insignificant cotton-balls. And so it's also very trivial and mundane. This guy seems to have an entirely ordinary life, other than living it at sea. He does normal things and there's very little I've found surprising or compelling in here, much less mentionable in an encyclopedic article. This guy may be notable, but he isn't really interesting at all. Perhaps the prose could be condensed and tightened overall, but I'm not sure that this has the makings of a durable story. Elizium23 ( talk) 08:19, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
I very much agree. This reads like a vapid People magazine article. If he’s even relevant enough to warrant a page, this could be cut down immensely. To summarize, he has a lot of money and spends it on cruise ships like any other passenger. He works remotely and has no family. CommentsTopic ( talk) 18:37, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
Agree that this article reads like an amateurish ghost-written biography. Notability isn't the issue, IMO. It's the vagueness (which multinational did he work for? nobody knows?) and the triviality (do we need to know his laundry habits?) that are bizarre. As for congratulations, no, not at all. This is just more evidence of how nonsensical DYK has become.
Martindo (
talk)
21:21, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
I've taken the liberty of removing a lot of (in my opinion) non-notable information, as per WP:PSEUDO. I also tried to clean up the tone a bit. However, I'm not the most well-versed in Wikipedia's policies, so I understand if my changes were too drastic and need to be reverted. BalinKingOfMoria ( talk) 03:39, 7 August 2022 (UTC)
The subject is notable for being a long-term cruise ship passenger. If the subject was primarily known for being a politician or actor or scientist, a lot of the information about his lifestyle would be inappropriate and undue weight. But because every reliable source that covers him is about his being a long-term cruise ship passenger, that information is appropriate and due weight as it is directly tied to his notability.
I partially reverted changes that removed content that met Wikipedia:Neutral point of view#Due and undue weight. I retained a lot of the changes as the prose improvements were good and the trimming of some of the material was good. Thank you. Cunard ( talk) 05:05, 7 August 2022 (UTC)
@ Silverseren: and Z1720 The article wasn't even close to "being good to go"... Didn't you notice that it needed a major copyedit!!? I've edited it. ♦ Dr. Blofeld 12:54, 7 August 2022 (UTC)
The changes deleted nearly 50% of the article's content, which is excessive. I partially reverted changes that removed content that met Wikipedia:Neutral point of view#Due and undue weight. For example, I think the discussion from Oliver Burkeman about Mario Salcedo The Happiest Guy in the World is good commentary about Salcedo and is due weight. I retained a lot of the changes as the prose improvements were good and the trimming of some of the material was good. Per Wikipedia:Editing policy#Be cautious with major changes: discuss, please discuss further deletions on the talk page. Cunard ( talk) 22:46, 7 August 2022 (UTC)
Articles frequently get a sizeable chop when copyediting. You reintroduced a lot of fluff/trivia and magazine-like phrasing/short sentences. I can ping a large number of experienced editors here and I think they'd agree with me. Many of those details are unneccessary and read poorly. ♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:32, 8 August 2022 (UTC)
The author Oliver Burkeman questioned how happy Salcedo was in the documentary short, observing that he "prowls the decks, cocktail in hand, staring out to the sea, eliciting tight-lipped smiles and reluctant pecks on the cheek from the people he refers to as his 'friends'", who are the cruise line's staff. Burkeman further wrote, "'I'm probably the happiest guy in the world!' he informs random groups of other passengers, rather too insistently; and they smile and nod, and politely pretend they envy him." Burkeman argued that for many crucial events, people need to coordinate their time with other people's and that massive amounts of free time without the ability to work with others is not "just useless but actively unpleasant". He commented that the harshest penalty imposed on early humans was being banished from others and that through having large control over his time, Salcedo exacted on himself something similar. [1]
Thanks for your work on the article, it's not easy writing about people like this and making it read like an encyclopedia. I've had to chop and had people chop lots of details from articles I've written to condense for a Good or Featured Articles. I don't think I've removed anything which you could say "that was essential information, this is much worse off". Trust me on this. ♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:19, 8 August 2022 (UTC)