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Phraseology

Auto writes:

Currently it reads: - " On return to Britain, he was killed whilst carrying out reconnaissance over the French coast, and crashed in southern England." Could this be better phrased: - "Following his return to England, whilst on a mission to reconnoiter the French coast, he crashed in southern England. he did not survive."

Auto wrote. 20160130 1825Z. 81.141.132.46 ( talk) 18:24, 30 January 2016 (UTC) reply