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A few edits such as this and this have fundamentally damaged this article by violating NPOV. We can't use anyone's official bio! The whole text is blatantly promotional, and I think we may need to roll it back to January 2015 to repair. Magic9Ball ( talk) 14:40, 15 September 2017 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest was declined. A reviewer felt that this edit would not improve the article. |
Hi, I work for Microsoft. I would like to request that the first paragraph be updated to reflect her current position at Microsoft.
Please delete , currently co-head of Hogan Lovells' Privacy and Cybersecurity practice, and insert is an American lawyer who.
After "March 31, 2016" please insert , where she focused on protecting consumers’ privacy, guarding consumers from financial fraud, and maintaining competition in industries involving health care and high-tech. [1] She is currently Corporate Vice President and Deputy General Counsel for Privacy and Regulatory Affairs at Microsoft. [2].
If prefer to replace entire paragraph:
Julie Brill is an American lawyer who served as a Commissioner of the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) from April 6, 2010 to March 31, 2016, where she focused on protecting consumers’ privacy, guarding consumers from financial fraud, and maintaining competition in industries involving health care and high-tech. [3] She is currently Corporate Vice President and Deputy General Counsel for Privacy and Regulatory Affairs at Microsoft. [4]
Thank you for your consideration, TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 18:33, 7 June 2019 (UTC)
References
Regards, Spintendo 08:21, 9 June 2019 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
Thank you for your feedback. I have added more specific examples to address User:Spintendo's concerns.
Updated request, with more specific examples:
Julie Brill is an American lawyer who served as a Commissioner of the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) from April 6, 2010 to March 31, 2016. While at the FTC, she focused on protecting consumers’ privacy by developing five core components for effective data security practices [1] and encouraging data brokers to develop a Web-based portal for consumers to view data collected on them, [2] guarding consumers from financial fraud by appearing before Congress to explain deceptive practices in the financial services industry, [3] and maintaining competition in industries involving health care and high-tech by blocking a health care network’s purchase of a local hospital, opposing a pharmacy benefit manager's purchase of a competitor, and finding a search engine’s online advertising policies anticompetitive in 2013. [4] She is currently Corporate Vice President and Deputy General Counsel for Privacy and Regulatory Affairs at Microsoft. [5]
Another option would be to update the first sentence, and add the last sentence:
Julie Brill is an American lawyer who served as a Commissioner of the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) from April 6, 2010 to March 31, 2016. She is currently Corporate Vice President and Deputy General Counsel for Privacy and Regulatory Affairs at Microsoft. [6]
I made the simpler change to the page but a Wikipedia editor friend informed me I should let an editor without a conflict of interest make that change, so I reverted it and now offer my suggestion in talk. Thank you in advance for your consideration. TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 21:23, 13 June 2019 (UTC)
References
"Another option would be to update the first sentence, and add the last sentence"were added to the article's lead statement area.
Regards, Spintendo 02:32, 14 June 2019 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
I work for Microsoft, so I have a conflict of interest.
Information to be removed:
Brill received the New York University School of Law Alumna of the Year Award,[when?][13] and was elected to the American Law Institute.[when?][14]
Information to be added:
Brill received the New York University School of Law Alumna of the Year Award in 2014, [1] the International Association of Privacy Professionals Privacy Leadership Award in 2014, [2] and was elected to the American Law Institute in 2013. [3]
Reason: To address the two inline when? templates appended to this section of text
Additional changes: I also added one other privacy-related recognition, improved the link to the American Law Institute appointment, and linked to the Wikipedia pages of the corresponding institutions.
Hope this helps improve the page. Thank you. TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 23:41, 6 September 2019 (UTC)
References
Edit request implemented
Spintendo
03:25, 7 September 2019 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest was declined. Pending WP:OTRS approval. |
Hi, I (still) work for Microsoft, which Julie Brill now works for. She would like to replace the image used in this article with the more recent one we uploaded at https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Julie_Brill,_Chief_Privacy_Officer_for_Microsoft.jpg Thank you. TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 18:36, 13 September 2019 (UTC)
Regards, Spintendo 02:22, 14 September 2019 (UTC)
User:Spintendo Approval from Wikipedia's Open-source Ticket Request System has been received for this file: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Julie_Brill,_Chief_Privacy_Officer_for_Microsoft.jpg
Thank you!-- TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 21:56, 25 September 2019 (UTC)
Edit request implemented
Spintendo
01:09, 26 September 2019 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
Hi there, I work for Microsoft. I have some additional source materials for the content to be added to address the need for further citations.
Proposed changes:
Edit request
|
---|
Information to be added: [1] [2] Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statement, where she studied under a Root-Tilden Scholarship.
Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statements: “Brill wrote the Commission’s unanimous decision in ProMedica dissolving the merger of two hospitals in Toledo, Ohio. Brill’s ProMedica decision was upheld on appeal by Sixth Circuit of the United States Circuit Court.” TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 22:50, 3 January 2020 (UTC) This is the same person from Microsoft with some additional requests. I also have some requested additions for content, with the necessary source materials. Information to be changed: Delete Brill is an advocate for consumer privacy,” and replace with “While at the FTC, Brill also focused on privacy implications of emerging technologies, including how personal data is gathered and used, and its effect on consumer privacy.” Citations: [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]> [11] [12] [13] [14] Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statement, expand to include more about her involvement. Information to be added: “Brill served as assistant attorney general for consumer protection and antitrust for the state of Vermont from 1988 – 2008. As a Vermont assistant attorney general in 1991, Brill and her staff discovered that 3,000 Vermont residents were identified as having tax liens against them by a consumer credit reporting agency. Brill testified in front of Congress about the ways in which credit reporting agencies were hurting consumers, which contributed to the 1996 revisions to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, the first substantial revisions in 25 years.” Information to be added: [15] [16] [17] [18] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as assistant attorney general of Vermont with historical impact. Information to be added: “While serving at the state level, Brill also worked to coordinate with other states as co-chair of the Privacy Working Group at the National Association of Attorneys General.” Citation: [19] [20] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as assistant attorney general of Vermont with historical impact. Information to be added: “Brill was nominated by President Barack Obama to serve as a Commissioner on the U.S. Federal Trade Commission in 2009. Her nomination was confirmed unanimously by the U.S. Senate on March 3, 2010 and she was sworn in on April 6, 2010.”
References supporting change: Cite error: A Information to be added: “Brill also took action against a wide range of tech companies for failing to secure personal data properly, calling for more protections for consumers regarding the inappropriate use of data behind the scenes.” Citations: [21] [22] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner. Information to be added: “Brill supported the development of a “do not track” feature to allow Internet users to tell websites to stop tracking their online activities and collecting information about them.” Citations: [23] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner. Information to be added: “While at the FTC, Brill created the “Reclaim Your Name” project designed to encourage more transparency within the data broker industry. She appeared on CBS 60 Minutes in 2014 to discuss the data broker industry and what needs to change to provide more control and information for consumers.” Citations: [24] [25] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner. References
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Thank you for your help, TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 22:58, 3 January 2020 (UTC)
{{
request edit}}
template need be added to the request.Regards, Spintendo 03:19, 4 January 2020 (UTC)
Notes
Thanks for your direction. Appreciate you taking a look and providing that information. I believe I've made all the corrections in the updated edit request below. Thank you. TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 23:19, 6 January 2020 (UTC)
Proposed changes:
Edit request
|
---|
Information to be added: [1] [2] Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statement, where she studied under a Root-Tilden Scholarship.
Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statements: “Brill wrote the Commission’s unanimous decision in ProMedica dissolving the merger of two hospitals in Toledo, Ohio. Brill’s ProMedica decision was upheld on appeal by Sixth Circuit of the United States Circuit Court.” TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 22:50, 3 January 2020 (UTC) This is the same person from Microsoft with some additional requests. I also have some requested additions for content, with the necessary source materials. Information to be changed: Delete Brill is an advocate for consumer privacy,” and replace with “While at the FTC, Brill also focused on privacy implications of emerging technologies, including how personal data is gathered and used, and its effect on consumer privacy.” Citations: [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]> [11] [12] [13] [14] Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statement, expand to include more about her involvement. Information to be added: “Brill served as assistant attorney general for consumer protection and antitrust for the state of Vermont from 1988 – 2008. As a Vermont assistant attorney general in 1991, Brill and her staff discovered that 3,000 Vermont residents were identified as having tax liens against them by a consumer credit reporting agency. Brill testified in front of Congress about the ways in which credit reporting agencies were hurting consumers, which contributed to the 1996 revisions to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, the first substantial revisions in 25 years.” Information to be added: [15] [16] [17] [18] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as assistant attorney general of Vermont with historical impact. Information to be added: “While serving at the state level, Brill also worked to coordinate with other states as co-chair of the Privacy Working Group at the National Association of Attorneys General.” Citation: [19] [20] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as assistant attorney general of Vermont with historical impact. Information to be added: “Brill was nominated by President Barack Obama to serve as a Commissioner on the U.S. Federal Trade Commission in 2009. Her nomination was confirmed unanimously by the U.S. Senate on March 3, 2010 and she was sworn in on April 6, 2010.”
References supporting change: Cite error: A Information to be added: “Brill also took action against a wide range of tech companies for failing to secure personal data properly, calling for more protections for consumers regarding the inappropriate use of data behind the scenes.” Citations: [21] [22] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner. Information to be added: “Brill supported the development of a “do not track” feature to allow Internet users to tell websites to stop tracking their online activities and collecting information about them.” Citations: [23] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner. Information to be added: “While at the FTC, Brill created the “Reclaim Your Name” project designed to encourage more transparency within the data broker industry. She appeared on CBS 60 Minutes in 2014 to discuss the data broker industry and what needs to change to provide more control and information for consumers.” Citations: [24] [25] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner. |
Thanks for your direction. Appreciate you taking a look and providing that information. I believe I've made all the corrections in the updated edit request below. Thank you. TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 23:19, 6 January 2020 (UTC)
Proposed changes:
Edit request
|
---|
Information to be added: [26] [27] Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statement, where she studied under a Root-Tilden Scholarship.
Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statements: “Brill wrote the Commission’s unanimous decision in ProMedica dissolving the merger of two hospitals in Toledo, Ohio. Brill’s ProMedica decision was upheld on appeal by Sixth Circuit of the United States Circuit Court.” TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 22:50, 3 January 2020 (UTC) This is the same person from Microsoft with some additional requests. I also have some requested additions for content, with the necessary source materials. Information to be changed: Delete Brill is an advocate for consumer privacy,” and replace with “While at the FTC, Brill also focused on privacy implications of emerging technologies, including how personal data is gathered and used, and its effect on consumer privacy.” Citations: [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35]> [36] [37] [38] [39] Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statement, expand to include more about her involvement. Information to be added: “Brill served as assistant attorney general for consumer protection and antitrust for the state of Vermont from 1988 – 2008. As a Vermont assistant attorney general in 1991, Brill and her staff discovered that 3,000 Vermont residents were identified as having tax liens against them by a consumer credit reporting agency. Brill testified in front of Congress about the ways in which credit reporting agencies were hurting consumers, which contributed to the 1996 revisions to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, the first substantial revisions in 25 years.” Information to be added: [40] [41] [42] [43] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as assistant attorney general of Vermont with historical impact. Information to be added: “While serving at the state level, Brill also worked to coordinate with other states as co-chair of the Privacy Working Group at the National Association of Attorneys General.” Citation: [44] [45] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as assistant attorney general of Vermont with historical impact. Information to be added: “Brill was nominated by President Barack Obama to serve as a Commissioner on the U.S. Federal Trade Commission in 2009. Her nomination was confirmed unanimously by the U.S. Senate on March 3, 2010 and she was sworn in on April 6, 2010.”
References supporting change: Cite error: A Information to be added: “Brill also took action against a wide range of tech companies for failing to secure personal data properly, calling for more protections for consumers regarding the inappropriate use of data behind the scenes.” Citations: [46] [47] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner. Information to be added: “Brill supported the development of a “do not track” feature to allow Internet users to tell websites to stop tracking their online activities and collecting information about them.” Citations: [48] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner. Information to be added: “While at the FTC, Brill created the “Reclaim Your Name” project designed to encourage more transparency within the data broker industry. She appeared on CBS 60 Minutes in 2014 to discuss the data broker industry and what needs to change to provide more control and information for consumers.” Citations: [49] [50] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner. |
References
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![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest was declined. |
Still waiting for the above changes to be addressed so re-adding "request edit" tag. Thanks, TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 22:20, 30 January 2020 (UTC)
Hi, I work at Microsoft, and have revised my COI edit requests and resubmitted them below. Please consider the below changes, thank you, TechSeaSpokes2004 ( talk) 23:42, 26 March 2020 (UTC)
![]() | This edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered. |
Information to be changed: Delete "Brill is an advocate for consumer privacy,” and replace with “While at the FTC, Brill also focused on privacy implications of emerging technologies, including how personal data is gathered and used, and its effect on consumer privacy.” Citations: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] Explanation of issue: Additional citations needed for statement, expand to include more about her involvement.
Information to be added: “Brill served as assistant attorney general for consumer protection and antitrust for the state of Vermont from 1988 – 2008. As a Vermont assistant attorney general in 1991, Brill and her staff discovered that 3,000 Vermont residents were identified as having tax liens against them by a consumer credit reporting agency. Brill testified in front of Congress about the ways in which credit reporting agencies were hurting consumers, which contributed to the 1996 revisions to the Fair Credit Reporting Act, the first substantial revisions in 25 years.” Citations: [6] [7] [8] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as assistant attorney general of Vermont with historical impact.
Information to be added: “While serving at the state level, Brill also worked to coordinate with other states as co-chair of the Privacy Working Group at the National Association of Attorneys General.” Citation: [9] [10] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as assistant attorney general of Vermont with historical impact.
Information to be added: “Brill was nominated by President Barack Obama to serve as a Commissioner on the U.S. Federal Trade Commission in 2009. Her nomination was confirmed unanimously by the U.S. Senate on March 3, 2010 and she was sworn in on April 6, 2010.” References supporting change: [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her time as FTC Commissioner.
Information to be added: “Brill also took action against a wide range of tech companies for failing to secure personal data properly, calling for more protections for consumers regarding the inappropriate use of data behind the scenes.” Citations: [16] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner.
Information to be added: “Brill supported the development of a “do not track” feature to allow Internet users to tell websites to stop tracking their online activities and collecting information about them.” Citations: [17] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner.
Information to be added: “While at the FTC, Brill created the “Reclaim Your Name” project designed to encourage more transparency within the data broker industry. She appeared on CBS 60 Minutes in 2014 to discuss the data broker industry and what needs to change to provide more control and information for consumers.” Citations: [18] [19] Explanation of issue: More relevant information about her background in consumer protection and notable moments during her time as FTC Commissioner.
References
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@ SlimVirgin: Sarah, I'd love to get your opinion of what more needs to be done to improve citations. On GW's talk, you wrote: "For example, look at the reception section. Some of it seems to be based on personal websites and similar." Is that your main objection, or are there other issues? I'm not going to make a specific suggestion just yet, without knowing what the specific issues are, but I'd like to know what you think those problems are; and then we will work on fixing them. (You know my COI notice, but let's observe the formalities.)-- GRuban ( talk) 03:52, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
I'll ask, but to be honest, it's surprisingly hard to find independent indepth sources about Federal Trade Commissioners. There are lots of US government sources on them, and there are lots of interviews with them, and while those are highly reliable, they're not independent. Let's go to Federal_Trade_Commission#List_of_former_commissioners - they all have articles - and compare this article with those above and below her:
We can't get blood from a stone, and we apparently can't get independent sources about FTC commissioners! What would you say to https://www.law.columbia.edu/news/archive/julie-brill-serve-commissioner-ftc and https://www.law.nyu.edu/alumni/almo/pastalmos/2010-11almos/juliebrillnovember ? They're from her law schools, so again not ideal, but at least would provide a variety of "involved" sourcing besides just FTC and interviews. Would they help? -- GRuban ( talk) 22:52, 23 December 2020 (UTC)