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Hey Y'all. Member of the Copy Editors Guild here :) I'm patrolling random articles and found this one. With comics articles sometimes the details get overwhelming to where a general copy edit isn't enough. Part of what we do in the CEG is streamline writing to make it more direct and encyclopedic. Some details in the article may be better suited to a fan wiki instead of Wikipedia.
Here are sentences from the article showing too much detail combined with a verbose writing style. These could be tightened up. The article could probably use review from the
WikiProject Comics project.
Cole tells him he was saved by Moya but he can still can hear it (David) down there scraping around, trying to escape and if it wants to kill him so bad then it can kill him alone so that no one else will get hurt.
Back at the Steel Harbor, David arrives and can sense that Cole is there alone, cornered, and this time he can't escape him, At the same time Sasha frees herself, kills some guards and makes her way to Cole just in time to save him, while David is outside killing some soldiers.
He says he can still hear the voice of his wife on the phone, crying, begging, desperate to find him and it was the last time he heard her voice; it's his last memory of her and it's all that he thinks about.
It also shows how the sick and the injured are forced to live in the sewers, the sinking ship claimed 300 lives, Moya was working without the authorization from her superiors or the US Military, Cole is still at large and the CDC confirms that the quarantine will remain in place for the foreseeable future.
I want only to promote a clean article and not step on anyones toes. Therefore, I'm leaving notes here on why I applied the overly detailed and fanpov tags. Thanks for reading and I welcome your collaborative input.
Curdigirl (
talk)
23:53, 31 October 2019 (UTC)reply