This is the
talk page for discussing improvements to the
Heinrich Hoffmann (pilot) article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
Article policies
|
Find sources: Google ( books · news · scholar · free images · WP refs) · FENS · JSTOR · TWL |
| ||||||||||
A fact from this article appeared on Wikipedia's
Main Page in the "
Did you know?" column on
January 6, 2010. The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that
World War II
German
fighter ace
Heinrich Hoffmann was the first
non-commissioned officer and first posthumous recipient of the
Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross with Oak Leaves? |
This article is rated B-class on Wikipedia's
content assessment scale. It is of interest to the following WikiProjects: | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Daily pageviews of this article
A graph should have been displayed here but
graphs are temporarily disabled. Until they are enabled again, visit the interactive graph at
pageviews.wmcloud.org |
What was his occupation before the war started? Was he married?-- Sturmvogel 66 ( talk) 22:38, 29 December 2009 (UTC)
"He often flew as wingman to Heinrich Bär, contributing to his success."
This quote is from the 'Career' section, para 2.
Does it mean that flying as wingman to Bär contributed to Bär's success, or Hoffman's?
RASAM (
talk)
20:40, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
okay, I've gone through it, and here's my take on the problems you're facing.
First, your prose is fine (generally), although I've tweaked a few areas that were awkward or in which your sentences were very "German-like" (waaay too long for an English-speaking audience--think of us as having short attention spans. Also, since we don't change the endings on adjectives, it is difficult for us to know which adjective belongs with which noun, and so forth, making the transition from German-style sentences to English difficult).
Second, as you've noted, it's skimpy. How about an explanation here of the process of pilot education? Although there isn't specific evidence of how Hoffmann became a pilot, you might explain, generally, how men who were non-coms became pilots. Most of your other articles are about officers. What about this guy being a non-com. Does Hoffmann fall into a large category of pilots who weren't officers? Is there a reason some men didn't get officers' commissions when they finished pilot training? Is it something to do with how they enlist (as Fahnrich, for example?)
Third, since he was Baer's wingman, perhaps there are records of missions they flew together. This might help fill out some of the holes (Oh, and btw, I tweaked that sentence some more).
Other than this, I can only think of a few places to find some more info: contemporary newspapers? Magazines and periodicals? Other pilot journals? Auntieruth55 ( talk) 22:34, 21 January 2010 (UTC)