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Help
I am trying to get this article to FA over the course of the 2011-2012 school year for AP Biology. If anyone has anything to add to it, any spelling and grammar suggestions, any citing suggestions, or anything else to contribute that will help Greater Scaup get to FA status, please help.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
00:06, 21 October 2011 (UTC)reply
Citations
Today in class, Mr. Butler gave us a template that he wants us to use for web citations and another one for book citations. I think I am going to change the citation format tomorrow. --
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
23:45, 24 October 2011 (UTC)reply
Why do you have a Bibliography section with sources in it that aren't books? Don't those go under Notes? And is there supposed to be a difference between Notes and Footnotes?
Der Elbenkoenig (
talk)
15:05, 2 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I used the template from the
Northern Pintail to set up the organization of the page. I am having trouble with figuring out what to put under Health. Should I put predators and diseases, or adaptations (heavy body, webbed feet)?--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
12:07, 2 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I'm not sure about a section called "Health" at all. Predators should probably be its own section, as should conservation, and the remaining information would maybe be put in a section called diseases or something. Calling the section Health would seem to imply that either they are cared for extensively as if they were pets, or that the bird itself somehow has an impact on human health.
I think Im going to leave the heading Heath (
Northern Pintail has it and it was FA) and make sub headings for Predators, Diseases, and Conservation. Good idea though.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk) 20:22, 2 November 2011 (UTC)
I changed my mind, I ended up deleting the section "Health". I added a Conservation section and Im going to add a diseases and/or predators section(s).--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
22:16, 2 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Description
The Description states that the Greater Scaup is larger than the Lesser Scaup, and that sentence has two references. I hardly think that piece of information is so controversial as to need multiple citations; one would probably be right to assume it from the birds' names. Also, the difference in size between the two is more specifically described later, making the sentence redundant; finally, the two references cited for the redundant sentence do not have names and are thus unlikely to be used again in the article, so I think that sentence should just be removed.
Der Elbenkoenig (
talk) 15:17, 2 November 2011 (UTC)
You're right. I removed it and the pointless and incorrect citation.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
20:19, 2 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Students, please view the "View History" tab and take note of the copy/edits. As stated in class, the corrections to our contributions can be humbling (28 edits); yet, a valuable learning experience. The goal is to not repeat the same mistakes in grammar and prose. For example, when to use its vs it's. This level of scrutiny is to be appreciated; however, let us not become lazy. Swallow your pride - view each edit - and continue to improve. My daughter has stated many times, that the reduction in red ink in college was in part a consequence of being bludgeoned on Wikipedia. I blame all my mistakes on a faulty keyboard!--
JimmyButler (
talk)
00:35, 13 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the advice, I compared several of the grammar edits to some of the original versions and it seems like most of the mistakes are the little things that Word spell check wont fix. Also, thanks for the complement about the progress of the article, I hope to get it up for GA before Christmas — Preceding
unsigned comment added by
Haydenowensrulz (
talk •
contribs)
14:50, 13 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Yes, of course. My question was utterly confused. Sorry. The intention was to ask for a more specific description of where it spends the winter period. The article currently only says that the duck goes south. This is too vague. --
Ettrig (
talk)
08:08, 14 November 2011 (UTC)reply
The German article has several sources on range. Maybe you can figure out what the geographical names refer to by clicking back and forth between language versions. --
Ettrig (
talk)
08:42, 14 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I looked at the German version of the Scaup article, and I saw the info about the Greater Scaup's range and although I did not use the info provided in the German article (I wasnt able to open the link to the sources for some reason) it pointed me in the right direction for finding the wintering locations. I found a great article made by European birdguide online that had the wintering locations from all over the world (Apparently this little duck makes it's way all the way to Japan for the winter! Who knew?) in it's "Migration" section. The info from the European birdguide page made it's way to this article's "Distribution and habitat" section. Thanks again for the German article tip, it really helped.
OK, but. The pacific coast of America is a VERY long place. Does it really spread over all that length? Suppose the range map will show. --
Ettrig (
talk)
08:56, 15 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Zebra Mussel Info Placement Help
I have a great piece of info about how Zebra Mussels are poising the Greater Scaup with selenium, but I am having trouble with deciding where to put it. I originally had it in the Conservation section, but I recently created a Threats section and I am considering moving the info there. I could also have it in both sections, but have it in greater detail in one and just mention it in the other. Im stumped, where should I put it??--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
00:26, 14 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Thats a great idea, I'll put it in great detail under feeding, but still mention it under threats. Do you think I should take it out of conservation completely or still mention that they are a problem there too?--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
11:22, 14 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I have added more detailed descriptions of the range in the European area, from books on my own bookshelves. It should be possible to find similar data for the American ranges in a public or school library. --
Ettrig (
talk)
10:00, 20 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I agree Ettrig, the map should show the ranges as contiguous. I can start looking at school for books that show American ranges (It may take a day or two before I have time, essay test in ap biology) but I'll get on it as soon as I can. Thank you for your contributions to the distribution and habitat section.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
12:27, 21 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I read in the United States Fauna article that along with skunks, coyotes, and foxes, Humans(?) are predators. This is going to sound like a dumb question, but should I include Humans in the predators section? I know the Greater Scaup is a popular gamebird and is hunted by humans does that make humans a "Predator"? (I'm going to leave humans out until I get a second opinion)--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
01:51, 15 November 2011 (UTC)reply
No reason not to include humans as predators if you have a source. But I think it is redundant if a section on cultural uses exists and includes hunting or consumption.
[1] --
Walter Siegmund(talk) 17:45, 15 November 2011 (UTC) I put humans in the list of predators, under the "Threats" section, but if I make a section about human interactions, I will go into more detail about hunting. Thank you for the tip.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
22:24, 15 November 2011 (UTC)reply
What Else?
I have been expanding on this article since October 20th, and I feel that it has come a long way from the stub it was when I adopted it for
Wikipedia:WikiProject AP Biology 2011. I'm simply asking for ideas on anything else in the page that needs to be added, expanded upon, or removed, before I send it in for "Teacher Review", which is Mr. Butler's review that precedes Peer Review. If anyone has any ideas for improvements that could be made, please tell me.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
23:05, 26 November 2011 (UTC)reply
At some point you have to work out the referencing. The Bibliography has been traditionally used to reference books denoted with ISBN numbers (even if the are e-books) and the Notes for web resources. It is a frustrating task; yet, you need to clean this up before proceeding to GA.--
JimmyButler (
talk)
20:20, 27 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I understand that some articles have the Bibliography and Notes section separated, with book and web references in each; however, on the
Northern Pintail article, which is a previous featured article, the Reference section was not broken up into book and web references and it still made FA. I was considering merging my Notes and Bibliography sections into one References section and mixing the book and web references like the Northern Pintail page. Is it acceptable for me to merge the references? I don't think it will take away from the overall appearance of the article, however it may make finding book references slightly harder if they are combined. Is there a WikiPedia protocol on how references should be organized?--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
00:30, 29 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I seperated the Bibliography and Notes sections and I considered trying to move the book references into the Bibliography section but I'm reluctant to start overhauling the References before I get a second opinion on it.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
01:15, 29 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I put the two book references in the bibliography, should I remove them from the references section and their links in the body of the article, or leave them?--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
22:05, 29 November 2011 (UTC)reply
The problem with the way you're doing it now is that the book details have to be given twice, one in the {{cite book}} and again in the bibliography. I've changed the Delin, Håkan (2001) citation to show you how I usually get round that problem. Also, you need to distinguish between those books (or web sites) you've actually cited in the article and those you're recommending for further reading, so I've also added a Further reading section.
MalleusFatuorum22:27, 29 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Thank you Malleus. I see what you mean about how to do book citations, and I fixed the Ullman, Magnus (1992) citation so it matches the other book citation.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
23:38, 29 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Coming along nicely. Before I review, look carefully at technical terms such as this: The drake also has a white speculum on its wings. There are a lot of anatomical descriptions, that few would recognize. If linking the technical terms turns the article into a sea of blue words, then you can consider un-linking terms that require no explanation to understand the content; such as geographical locations. Opinions vary. What I would like, is to define terms in text where possible, to enhance clarity and avoid the need to jump to a different article to comprehend. The drake also has a white speculum, a colored patch on the inner flight feathers of the wings. --
JimmyButler (
talk)
20:16, 27 November 2011 (UTC)reply
I think circumpolar means that the range is a ring around a pole. It doesn't need to be circular, but almost continuous. This is not what your explanation says. --
Ettrig (
talk)
10:10, 30 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Yes, but. I think your description of what circumpolar means is good. But, in this case we are describing a particular species' range. And this species doesn't circle any of the poles. Check the range map. --
Ettrig (
talk)
15:38, 30 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Thats true, do you think the circumpolar fact should be removed from the article, or could it still be considered circumpolar by some, simply because it's range goes into the Arctic Circle in both Canada and northern Europe and it still, in a way, "circles the poles."--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
03:03, 1 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I just meant that in this context your definition is too general. The GS range doesn't encircle any of the two poles of earth. It encircles the North pole. --
Ettrig (
talk)
12:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Teacher Review
Nearctic Greater Scaup are distinguishable from Palaearctic birds...This requires future explanation. Who are these Palearctic birds and what is their relationship to the scaup. for that matter who are these nearctic scaup that seem to popup without elaboration. You can't just link the problem away!
("probably" the same word as the scalp of the head) this factoid befuddles me. By same word do you mean that the definitions are the same or the pronunciations? Why is probably in quotes? Can you elaborate on the significance of this statement for clarity.
I'm really not sure why that bit is even necessary, it was there when I adopted the article. I'm going to delete it, since it does not help explain the definition or add any relevant info to the page.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
21:15, 30 November 2011 (UTC)reply
the duck's display call; you assume the reader knows the meaning of 'display call'. Is it mating, territorial, exhibitionist behavior?
The Greater Scaup is 20 per cent heavier and 10 per cent longer than the closely related Lesser Scaup], Sentence order, this "breaks" into the middle of your dialog on male characteristics.
the male has a dark head with a green sheen. and farther down The drake also has a black head with a dark green tint to it... you have two redundant sections describing male features within the same heading.
The Greater Scaup also spends the Summer across the northern part of Europe, which includes Iceland. later...In Europe, the Greater Scaup spend the summers in Iceland, ...The trend seems to be: You are failing to blend your multiple references into a single paragraph. Instead each reference is summarized in its own section; resulting in multiple cases of redundancy. If you create note cards detailing the range from various sources, and then write the distribution section, it will not suffer from the disconnection that is occurring between repeated information. As seen here: They are found in the Aleutians year round and later In North America, the Greater Scaup summers in all of Alaska and the Aleutian Islands
Greater Scaup lay an average of six to nine olive-buff colored eggs per pair,and typically nest on islands in large northern lakes. After the eggs are laid,... The addition of the underlined section breaks the flow of the discussion on egg laying. Why place that particular factoid here?
they already have down, which allows them to follow their mother on her search for food... is the presence of down the essential attribute that allows them to follow their parents?
I looked at the source for that little fact, and as it turns out, I read the sentence that contained the fact wrong. They are actually born with down AND have the ability to follow their mother on the search for food. The down doesn't have anything to do with their ability to follow their mother. I fixed the fact in the article and it now reads: "When the baby Greater Scaup are born, they already have down and are able to follow their mother on her search for food."--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
23:23, 30 November 2011 (UTC)reply
Greater Scaup begin breeding when they are two years old, although they may start nesting at age one. Look closely at sentence order, Facts are often inserted without connecting a common theme. This sentence could be placed elsewhere to retain continuity of thought.
The drakes have a complex courtship procedure, at the end of which monogamous pairs are formed Again, why not place courtship in a section prior to egg laying; rather than as the last statement.
which it obtains by diving and swimming underwater. Efficiency of words; I would think "diving" would not require an additional descriptor "swimming" as they are essential the same behavior.
That's a good point (years of English classes have made me wordy when I write) I removed the word "swimming" from the sentence so it now reads: "The Greater Scaup mainly eats mollusks, aquatic plants, and aquatic insects, which it obtains by diving underwater."--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
22:47, 30 November 2011 (UTC)reply
that other diving ducks are unable to take advantage of. I was taught that a preposition should never be placed at the end of a sentence; apparently, (as I just discovered) that is a myth.
Selenium... this is discussed at length in two separate sections; decide where it best fits and eliminate redundancy. Again I suspect you "mine" information from a source; move to the next and do the same; yet fail to combine information into a single cohesive paragraph that reflects your writing style. The article lacks flow as a consequence.
I disagree that it is discussed "at length" in two separate sections. While it is true that I mention it's impact in the "Threats" section, I go into much greater detail in the "Conservation" section. The two lines that selenium is mentioned in the "Threats" section are only there to back up the claim that Zebra Mussels are in fact a threat to the Scaup.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
22:42, 30 November 2011 (UTC)reply
After a closer look, I propose moving the entire discussion to the threats section. The selenium is a threat, I didn't see any discussion as to a conservation effort to resolve it.
Hunting Greater Scaup is very challenging, as they can fly at up to 75 miles per hour, which makes shooting them in flight very difficult Why not move this sentence behind the one that states they have to be shot "on the fly".
An image of a typical decoy used for scaup hunting my break up the text in that section. Opinion of course.
I actually have several dozen Greater Scaup decoys, perhaps the next time I set them out (hopefully next Saturday) I can take some pictures and put them in the article. It would be good for portfolio building.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
00:30, 1 December 2011 (UTC)reply
As it turns out there isnt a wikipedia article on layout boats (may be too redneck for wikipedia) and there is also no "Official" definition for layout boats, so I described what they are and supplied a link to
kayak, which layout boats are very similar to. I may put a picture of one in the article, what is your opinion on it?--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
22:01, 30 November 2011 (UTC)reply
The Greater Scaup is a "small diving duck", but "its large size and webbed feet allow it to reach food up to 20 feet (6 m) under water"? So it's small but at the same time large? Have you informed the relevant authorities about this dimensional anomaly? The very fabric of space and time may be under threat here.
MalleusFatuorum05:05, 1 December 2011 (UTC)reply
What should I put in the lead for the article? I know the lead is supposed to summarize the contents of the article, but what is an appropriate length for it? Should it summarize the entire article or just some parts of it?--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
02:44, 3 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I went ahead and redid the lead section. I got the first 2 sentences from each section and put them together in a paragraph. Is that the right way to do a lead?--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
15:08, 4 December 2011 (UTC)reply
It's good to systematically check all the sections. The lead is to summarize the most important parts of the main article. These are not necessarily always in the first two sentences. --
Ettrig (
talk)
12:38, 6 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the advice, I read through the entire article and made notes of important information on a piece of paper, I then summarized the notes and turned that into the new lead. I think it's better than the old one, what's your opinion on it?--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
22:18, 6 December 2011 (UTC)reply
First things first, thank you for contributing to the peer review. In regards to your concern about the capitalization of "Scaup", I believe that "Scaup" should be capitalized, because it is capitalized in the title of the article and it is capitalized in the
Lesser Scaup article. I changed all the lowercase "scaup"s to uppercase "Scaup"s.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
02:53, 7 December 2011 (UTC)reply
In regards to your comment on about the usage of Drake/Hen vs. Male and Female, they do in fact mean the same thing, I just thought I'd put "Drake" and "Hen" in there to help break up the constant usage of "Male" and "Female."--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
11:30, 8 December 2011 (UTC)reply
You should link to a article at its first occurrence in the text and not again. Please check (I may have added some in my edit above, since I linked some words not realising that they were already linked further on). Countries and continents shouldn't be linked
Most of the taxonomy seems to be sourced to the OED, which can't be right. If this was added by someone else and you can't source it, let me know and I'll see what I can do. Jimfbleak - talk to me?11:52, 11 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Check your link for
clutch (:
clutch might be better
vermiculation — you need the word, but it's red linked and unexplained. You could write a stub to link to, find or write a Wikitionary definition, or add a brief explanation.
rare circumpolar ducks is a bit ambiguous, suggests that the scaup might be rare. Not sure that it's appropriate anyway — Northern Pintail, Northern Shoveler, Mallard at least are circumpolar.
11% of the continental Scaup population — which continent? Your conservation section seems to be concerned only with the US, and I'm not sure why you give a US count for the total of both scaups rather than a
global figure for Greater. That source also gives a bit more on threats
ref 1 Why is Alvarez capitalised and without his first name. I would lose the month from ref too, unless you are going to add it for all the others too
Normally it about.com is not a reliable source, but I searched the author, Melissa Mayntz, and she seems to be a very credible author, as she has been writing educational articles since 2003 and writing articles for WildBird Magazine since 2003.-
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
00:18, 12 December 2011 (UTC)reply
refs 15, 21. Can you write out DNR and MN in full, I don't know what they mean?
At some stage before FAC, you will need to make sure that you have conformed to
WP:Lead section and the relevant bits of
WP:MoS. You will probably need access to material that is not on-line. You could email me for what I've got, and put a message on the Bird project page to see what NAm editors can doJimfbleak - talk to me?17:15, 11 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I made
some more tweaks, please check. As far as I can see, the taxonomy referencing is the only outstanding issue, let me know if you struggle to find a source. You should look at the
plumage and
feather articles to see if there are links for mantle and scapular. If not, the latter will need a bit of explanation. As I said above, I'll be away for a few days after today. While I'm away, have a careful read through to check how the text flows and to avoid the repetition of words and phrases. If you can get someone else to have a look (ask at the project page?), that would be good too, since it's easy to overlook things even after many reads — I have an article at
WP:FAC at the moment where it was pointed out that "NaturaL" was not quite standard spelling! Jimfbleak - talk to me?07:05, 12 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I added a link for
scapular and I added an ISBN for the dictionary reference. The only thing that I'm confused about is when you said that most of the taxonomy section came from OED. The only part that OED sourced was the origin of the word "Scaup". As for the other uncited info in the taxonomy section that proceeds the fact about the origin of "scaup" is concerned, I did not put that stuff there, it was there when I adopted the article for my project. I cannot seem to find a source for it, will you please help me cite it?-
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
23:26, 12 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I'm going away for few days in the next hour or so, I'll leave a message on the bird project talk page to see if anyone can source it. If not, I'll sort it out when I get back. Jimfbleak - talk to me?06:46, 13 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Very promising article. I did a Google Scholar search for Aythya marila and a noticed a number of references that could be reviewed and included. Some examples below:
Shyamal (
talk)
09:06, 13 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Piotr Szefer, Jerzy Falandysz (1987). "Trace metals in the soft tissues of scaup ducks (Aythya marila L.) wintering in Gdańsk bay, Baltic sea". Science of The Total Environment. 65: 203–213.
doi:
10.1016/0048-9697(87)90173-2.
I added a bit about metals in Scaup tissue samples to threats, thanks for all the sources that you found. I'm working on citing the taxonomy section right now.-
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
22:12, 13 December 2011 (UTC)reply
They do. I have some hen decoys, should I change the picture to one which features a drake and a hen, or just mention that there are hen decoys in the human interaction section?-
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
00:39, 14 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I think it is much better to show both a male and female decoy in a photograph for this article. If you took these photographs yourself, it should be possible to get photographs that include the whole decoy including the tails of the both decoys. Also, include the whole shadow of the decoys for completeness. Also, the entire lengths of the strings could be shown. I wonder what the best background would be to show these decoys in a photograph. Is it a lead weight? Please note, do not put different images on top of each other. Please upload a better photograph to a different file name. When this has been done, we will see what we can do so sort out the image dump mess. Can you use a better camera, so that more details of the decoys can be seen? Are the decoys on a base? It might be possible to illuminate the decoys better for photography.
Snowman (
talk)
10:08, 14 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I'm going to borrow a friend's camera tomorrow (her's is better than an iphone), and take a few pictures of the decoys. I can include the shadows of the decoys and the tails this time. I currently have about 3 meters of line on the decoys, which is a lot, I was thinking about trying to coil the line and have the weights at the end. Do you have any suggestions for a better background, because I think the reed rug they are on looks good.--
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
00:35, 15 December 2011 (UTC)reply
By all means upload another photograph with the decoys on the mats, but to me it looks a bit "home made". Also, upload a photograph on a plain white or a pale background. It might be useful for Commons to have photographs of the male and female ducks separately and also the two ducks together. It might be better if the ducks faced the same direction, because that will make comparing them easier. Yes, include the whole string, the weights, and the shadows. For a task like this, I would generally take several slightly different photographs in slightly different lighting and pick the best. Please include the approximate dimensions of the ducks in the image description. You could upload them to en Wiki again at the present time, and I will move them to Commons, or you could upload them to Commons yourself having logged in and got an account there. Commons is the best place to upload photographs, since photographs there can be used on all the language Wikis.
Snowman (
talk)
13:58, 15 December 2011 (UTC)reply
A trace is a small amount and the paragraph on metals starts of by saying that iron is present in trace quantities, but ends in saying that iron is in high levels in the lungs and liver in some cases. Both parts of the paragraph can not be correct. I would be interested in learning about the consequences of these levels. Heavy metals feature in the "Conservation" section and the "Threats" section and I think it would be better if these were joined together.
Snowman (
talk)
22:39, 13 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I changed the last part of the "iron in high levels..." so it doesn't say "in high levels" when talking about traces of these metals. I also went ahead and moved the last part of the "Conservation" section to the "Threats" section, it makes more sense for common threats to the Greater Scaup to be in the "Threats" section. -
Haydenowensrulz (
talk)
00:55, 14 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Iron would naturally be in higher concentration in the liver, than other tissues. What is the interpenetration of these iron levels?
Snowman (
talk)
10:02, 14 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Why are these ducks only shot when they are flying? When the decoys fool birds to think it is safe to land, are the birds shot on the ground or when swimming on water? Is there any illegal hunting? Is there a duck shooting season? Is duck shooting a controversial activity?
Snowman (
talk)
09:59, 14 December 2011 (UTC)reply
I have not read the paper about the study of several metal elements in 107 ducks. The article appears to contain some levels from the results of the study. What conclusions, if any, are drawn from these results?
Snowman (
talk)
10:51, 14 December 2011 (UTC)reply
Edits since your last, I think we are about there, but it will need more work for FA.
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