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Hi just thought I should leave a note here. 'Gabon talapoin seldom ascends to higher levels' have been clarified to 'Gabon talapoin seldom ascends to higher levels in trees'. So I've removed the 'clarification needed' tag
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
09:52, 17 May 2021 (UTC)reply
A few comments
Hi
NoEsPu102. Nice work expanding the article. A few suggestions:
The lede needs to be expanded. It should be a summary of the article's main points. Right now, there's nothing about diet, reproduction, or what it looks like. All of that info should in the lede.
All units should be converted into imperial measurements as well as metric ones. It's easiest to use the {{convert}} template. (You have an example to follow in the Habitat section).
I'd suggest you put the Description section before Habitat and range. And you say there are no color differences between sexes and ages, but then delay telling us what color they are for many sentences! Start with the overall color and then tell us about eyelids, ears, etc.
Be sure to add a language parameter for any reference not in English.
Once you've finished, it could use a good copyedit! The
Guild of Copy Editors could help.
Really appreciate the helpful comments! Will work on it in the next few days and update here again asap. Looking forward to getting this to a B class or higher together! :)
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
03:00, 20 May 2021 (UTC)reply
I've expanded the lede, converted measurements, rearranged the sections and also edited some areas. I've tried to find out how but I'm still unsure on adding a language parameter for one of the references. That reference was actually added by the previous author, and I can't find the original source nor do I understand that language. But the information used from that source has no issues, and I've backed it up with one of my references as well (I didn't want to just delete another author's reference). Would appreciate some guidance on this!
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
01:44, 29 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Comments
Great work on the article so far NoEsPu102! Here are my comments (sorry if I am nit-picking, overall a decent article):
Lede
It may have been introduced to Fernando Poo and the Canary Islands. Typo here? Maybe say Bioko if that's what is meant.
This was written by the previous author and I've checked the source for this and it was indeed Fernando Poo and Canary Islands
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
02:15, 29 May 2021 (UTC)reply
clearly distinguishing it from the other species Miopithecus talapoin, the Angolan talapoin. Why is it clearly? Also the common name should come first.
I guess it was unnecessary to use 'clearly', I was trying to convey there's a clear distinction between the two species now that both have been named. I've also moved the common name to the front, thanks for flagging this
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
02:15, 29 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Normally the lede doesn't need inline references as it is a summary of the text below. You can remove all but the references that aren't used in the body. As above commented there should be a more complete summation of the body.
Thanks for clarifying on this! I was unclear on it as I saw some featured articles with long leads but no references at all! I've expanded it as well to cover a bit of information from every sections
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
02:15, 29 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Taxonomy
The Miopithcus genus was amended by Machado far back in 1969 and distinguished one species, the M. talapoin from another unidentified species. I would say something like: the genus was considered monotypic until 1969 when Machado suggested there was a northern and southern species separated by the Congo River. The southern species was described as M. talapoin and the northern species was left undescribed.
A nomen nudum, 'Miopithecus ogouensis' is used here [in Kingdon's book] in anticipation of a formal description. I don't think [in Kingdon's book] is needed as you have specifically quoted from his book.
This was written by the previous author, I've double checked the source and deleted text in []. Thanks for flagging this
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
02:15, 29 May 2021 (UTC)reply
The Gabon talapoin is classified under the Cercopithecidae family, and is one of the only two species under the Miopithecus genus, with the other being the lesser known Angolan talapoin. Maybe this should start the section. This section is the only one where you use the scientific name first, so useful to include it before Angolan talapoin.
Terrestrial foraging is seldom observed .. talapoins usually look for food on the ground These two sentences seem at odds, but I assume it means they forage on the ground but it's seldom observed?
Gabon talapoins were widespread and often associated with villages in Gabon in the 1960s, but this has not been observed since. In the habitat section it says, Population density may double near human settlements, so which is it?
I've tried to make this more clear as well. Population can indeed double near human settlements, but there is also an accompanying overall population decline
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
02:15, 29 May 2021 (UTC)reply
not typical hunting targets .. increase in the hunting and trapping of smaller mammals like the Gabon talapoin Contradictory statements.
I think in context "However, the overhunting of larger animals has caused a shift in target...", the two statements are not that contradicting?
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
02:15, 29 May 2021 (UTC)reply
the northern talapoin is listed under Naming consistency. If it's how the source uses the name then you could say: the Gabon talapoin is listed (as the northern talapoin) under.
I would the next step is to find some more images, hopefully of a better quality than exists at the moment. A clear full body shot for the taxobox would be great! Cheers,
Jack (
talk)
08:48, 26 May 2021 (UTC)reply
Yep I've been looking for useable media! But I've yet to find any clear pictures in the public domain or on Wikimedia commons. I've added a clear image of the Angolan talapoin instead to show the comparison in facial skin colour between the two species mentioned in the text. Thank you so much for the detailed comments! They were really helpful
NoEsPu102 (
talk)
02:15, 29 May 2021 (UTC)reply
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