"He serves as an antagonist and as a minion to the antagonist Magus, and cameos in the sequel, Chrono Cross." This sentence seems to be leftover/duplicated from an earlier sentence in the lead. Also the word "antagonist" appears 3 times in the lead, consider rewording to avoid this.
NB and GQ redirect to the same place. You can pipe link the phrase or delink one.
C&C
"Flea ends all of his sentences with "yo ne" in the Japanese version, intended to be "sickeningly cutesy."" - Unclear which source this is cited to.
Can you find hiragana for 'yo ne' and 'atai'? One of the few cases where extra moon runes is useful to the reader. Also wikilink to
Japanese pronouns
wikilink localization, maybe even the Square Enix localization page
" the sexual culture of Flea's character" Is 'culture' the right word here? I see it's in the ref but I think it's being used in a different sense in this sentence.
Wikilink Nintendo DS; "Nintendo DS
port's English localization"?
Appearances
Ref #7 fails to verify that Flea is Magus' subordinate. You can cite the game directly here to a line in the script maybe?
"He is encountered ... actually a man" switch to active voice
"later" appears twice in quick succession, consider rewording
Ref #8 fails to verify that Ozzy and Slash also appear in Chrono Cross and in what context
Reception
Include a page number for Ref #9
"Williams noted that despite the designation of okama, which he cites sociologist James Valentine's statement that okama fail at passing as women, Flea passes for a woman quite well" - this sentence, especially the subordinate clause, doesn't flow well. What are you trying to convey here?
"inadequate for this" - inadequate for this what?
Inappropriate use of the word "meanwhile". Meanwhile is only used when the two events are happening simultaneously. Consider another transition word.
New paragraph break when you start discussing the iconic 'power and beauty' line, start with a topic sentence indicating this ("Many commentators praised Flea's iconic line yadda yadda", something like that). With this new paragraph, you have the space to split Lorraine and Luke's thoughts into their own sentences instead of mushing them together as if they were in conversation
"Regarded the line as one of the "greatest pro-trans dialogue in gaming history"" - this reads kinda awkward to me. First, the author says it's THE greatest, not one of the greatest. Also a single line isn't really dialogue. Maybe "Jacob Ogles regarded it as the "greatest pro-trans [line] in gaming history"?
"The Escapist ... indicator of villainy" - 'use' appears 3x in the same sentence, try to reword to avoid this