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I'd prefer it if the introductory sentence noted that she is a physician and a philanthropist before going into the modeling/beauty contest parts of her career.
Novellasyes (
talk)
17:24, 5 July 2020 (UTC)reply
Updates to Education and medical career
This
edit request by an editor with a conflict of interest has now been answered.
Hi, I would like to propose an update to the second paragraph in Education and medical career with more context about Eva's background and the founding of the Dubin Breast Center. I am also providing updated language and figures to match what's written in the sources, and including an additional source from WSJ.
I suggest reworking the paragraph as follows:
Eva was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2002.[1][2] After her experiences during treatment, she realized an integrated center, where all of the breast cancer specialists work together under one roof, would help other patients navigate their diagnosis and treatment.[3][1] Eva and her husband donated approximately $19 million and were involved in raising an additional $24 million to open the Dubin Breast Center at Mount Sinai Hospital in 2011 and facilitate its growth.[1][2] She told The Wall Street Journal that she was directly involved in all aspects of the center's development and design, drawing on her knowledge as both a patient and a physician.[1][3] As of 2018, the center had processed 180,000 patient visits.[1]
Xan747 I would note that in the sentence After her experiences during treatment, she realized an integrated center, where all of the breast cancer specialists work together under one roof, would help other patients navigate their diagnosis and treatment. three references are given for this claim. One of the references confirms the claim, the second reference does not, and the third reference is behind a paywall. The claim statement in this form—with three attached references in which two either do not confirm, or cannot be confirmed—is problematic on its face.
Also the claim She was directly involved in all aspects of the center's development and design, drawing on her knowledge as both a patient and a physician is problematic in that the information in one of the sources states that this information comes from the subject herself. The sentence should read "According to the subject, she was involved in....." SeeWP:VOICE.Spintendo23:13, 6 July 2023 (UTC)reply
Changes reverted Thank you
Xan747, much appreciated. To the COI editor: I've reverted the changes made for the reasons specified above. Please feel free to re-submit the request in a new level 2 heading below at your earliest convenience once these issues have been addressed. Regards, Spintendo23:31, 6 July 2023 (UTC)reply
Thank you
Xan747 and
Spintendo for your assistance with this request.
Regarding the first sentence noted by Spintendo above (which was originally backed with 3 references), my apologies that I inadvertently included reference 2; I have now removed it. I am pasting the relevant text from WSJ which is behind a paywall and supports the suggested sentence:
"The center...is a comprehensive state-of-the-art facility that promises integrated care for women in one place from the time they are diagnosed through recovery and after-care...Despite her professional savvy and connections, she found herself navigating the fragmented world of cancer care, dealing with several doctors who were rarely in communication with each other...That won't be the case at Mount Sinai, where Dr. Andersson-Dubin was intimately involved in every aspect of the new center's design....With doctors, nurses, and social workers under one roof, Dr. Andersson-Dubin expects communication and teamwork to be easier, making for seamless transitions of care."
I have tweaked the rest of my suggested update above as per your points and reopened the request. If all seems ok now, would one of you please implement the edit? Thanks again,
AM for Dubin (
talk)
12:40, 17 July 2023 (UTC)reply
Partly done The main aspects of the edit request, that the subject was diagnosed with cancer and opened the Dubin clinic, were added to the article. The other aspects, such as the subject's medical treatment philosophy and interior design accomplishments, were omitted per
WP:BALASP. Regards, Spintendo13:20, 17 July 2023 (UTC)reply
Spintendo, thanks for looking in to this, and for adding the main information. Eva's experience with cancer and the reasoning behind the development of the Dubin Breast Center are context which is widely covered in multiple sources, including WSJ. For my understanding, which aspects are we aiming to balance here? It doesn't seem that
WP:BALASP applies in this case, as the information directly relates to the subject of the article and there is considerable coverage of the topic. BALASP seems to be referring to trending news stories, perspectives or criticisms as opposed to factual, sourced information about the subject. As such, please consider including the following, after the first sentence in the paragraph which mentions her diagnosis and replacing the second sentence about the opening of the center:
Following treatment, she founded the Dubin Breast Center at Mount Sinai Hospital, an integrated center aimed at helping other patients navigate their diagnosis and treatment under one roof.[1][2] Eva and her husband donated approximately $19 million and were involved in raising an additional $24 million to open the center in 2011 and facilitate its growth.[2][3] She told The Wall Street Journal that she was directly involved in all aspects of the center's development and design, drawing on her knowledge as both a patient and a physician.[2][1]
^Tuckwood, Jan (17 October 2018).
"Eva Dubin's 3 Tips for Great Health". No. Lifestyle. United States: Palm Beach Post. GateHouse Media, LLC.
Archived from the original on 2 September 2019. Retrieved 2 September 2019.
Hi
Xan747 and
Spintendo. I have edited the paragraph again, taking your suggestions into account. It is now shorter and more to the point, which I hope contributes to the balance you are looking for. I would like to reiterate that since this is a biography, the activities that Andersson-Dubin is extensively engaged in and which are also discussed in reliable sources are an essential component of her story, and help to give the reader a better understanding of her life. Please reconsider my new version below to replace what is there now.
Andersson-Dubin was diagnosed with
breast cancer in 2002. In 2004 she joined the Mt. Sinai Board of Trustees and began work to create the Dubin Breast Center at
Mount Sinai Hospital, which opened in 2011. Eva and her husband donated approximately $19 million and were involved in raising an additional $24 million for the center, where breast cancer diagnosis and treatment are integrated under one roof. According to The Wall Street Journal, as both a patient and a physician, she contributed to many aspects of the center's development. [1][2][3]
^Tuckwood, Jan (17 October 2018).
"Eva Dubin's 3 Tips for Great Health". No. Lifestyle. United States: Palm Beach Post. GateHouse Media, LLC.
Archived from the original on 2 September 2019. Retrieved 2 September 2019.
Sorry for the late response. I'm not sure why we need the last sentence and if we do include something like that it should be more specific on what other development she contributed. Also I think including the patient visits is alright.
Aaron Liu (
talk)
03:08, 24 August 2023 (UTC)reply
Aaron Liu, thanks so much for weighing in. I'm comfortable taking out that last sentence and I understand the rationale. I'd appreciate your implementation of the rest of the paragraph with the supporting references. Thank you,
AM for Dubin (
talk)
13:07, 24 August 2023 (UTC)reply