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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as
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Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.
Yep meets all requirements for DYK. Article's new and definitely long enough, and within policy. I personally like ALT0 and ALT1 the best (would go with ALT0), as far as the hooks go. QPQ is complete. Good to go for DYK. Great episode too.
Soulbust (
talk)
06:02, 13 February 2023 (UTC)reply
This is an excellently written article and I'm happy that it is broad, neutral, stable and illustrated (with an appropriate fair use rationale). I've just got a question about a couple of sources and then some nitpicks in the prose. But the structure is great, it's clear to a reader with no background knowledge and the trickiest part of an episode article—"Reception"—is organized well with topic sentences and comments sorted by theme.
Referencing
I'm familiar with most sources or have convinced myself that they are reliable. What makes these sources reliable: The Daily Moth, Geek Culture?
Spotchecks (numbering as of
Special:Permalink/1171952616): #3, #27, #32, #38, #43, #50, #51, #53, #57, #67. No issues found.
Copyedits
Plot
"who they convince to help them escape" – Reads a bit clunkily with "who", "they" and "them". It could be "who agree to help them escape".
"she shortly arrives" – I think this has to be "she arrives shortly" (or "she soon arrives").
Production
"was assigned to direct for the series" – Can be made more concise e.g. "would direct for the series".
Johnson's casting sentence could maybe be cut down: "..., departed for the set by Saturday and began filming by the following Wednesday".
"noting it had impacted him when playing" – I'm a bit lost. The character had impacted the actor when playing the video game? (In what way?)
"Johnson found the scene" – The suicide scene?
"tried to be as present as authentic as possible" – The middle "as" should be an "and".
"Johnson considered Henry's final decision was to join his brother" – I think "considered" doesn't fit here; it could be "said"/"believed".
"Mazin found Kathleen being killed by a child important" – "being killed" is a strange tense. Maybe "Mazin found it important that Kathleen was killed by a child".
Maybe add "(ADR)" in parentheticals after "
automated dialogue replacement", as some readers (me!) may only be familiar with it through its abbreviation.
"and considered it selfless" – Not clear who considered it selfless (Pierce or Perry).
... found his death was an honorable "samurai death" sacrificing himself for the woman he loves – May read better as ... saw his death as an honorable "samurai death", where he sacrificed himself for the woman he loves.
"was completely built" – "was built" would convey the same information.
House by the Railroad could get a year in parentheticals.
I think "40 kilograms" should be "40-kilogram".
The team wanted the creature to have a "practical presence" – Who is this quoting?
"Mazin wrote the bloater tore Perry in two" – Doesn't read right to me with a "that" ("Mazin wrote that ...")
Reception
Since it's just a weekly online article, I think linking
honorable mention is a bit much (I don't think a dictionary definition is needed instead as most readers will understand it in context).
"Rabab Khan wrote the cinematography captured" – Think you need a "that".
"Aaron Bayne similarly felt ..." – Similar to which critic?
Lead and other
"
post-apocalypticdrama" is a
sea of blue: I think most readers understand "drama" in context so maybe that link could be removed.
introduced "bloaters" ... the costume – I was confused as to whether there was one or many bloaters in the episode before I got to "Production". Perhaps introduced the first "bloater" and use singular consistently (even though, I assume, there are more in either the series or the video game).
Thanks for the review and kind words,
Bilorv! I've gone through and addressed your concerns. Regarding The Daily Moth and Geek Culture: since they're both interviews with the relevant subjects (Woodard and Pierce, respectively), I believe they're considered
primary sources and acceptable for citing straightforward information, which I believe is the case here. Please let me know if you have any other comments or concerns. –
Rhain☔ (
he/him)02:38, 29 August 2023 (UTC)reply
Excellent, I'm happy that all of my comments have been addressed and this is a pass for GA. Thanks for the quick response! —
Bilorv (talk)
15:20, 29 August 2023 (UTC)reply