Seems a little stilted: "Edward Puttick was born in Timaru, Southern Canterbury, New Zealand, the son of a railway worker from London." Perhaps consider: "The son of a railway worker from London, Edward Puttick was born in Timaru, in Southern Canterbury, New Zealand."
Done
"On 27 March, Puttick was wounded in the chest when leading...", consider instead: "On 27 March, Puttick was wounded in the chest while leading..."
Done
"He was evacuated to England for treatment. After some recuperation, he commanded the New Zealand Rifle Brigade's training camp in Brocton, Staffordshire." Consider instead: "He was evacuated to England for treatment and after recuperating, commanded the New Zealand Rifle Brigade's training camp in Brocton, Staffordshire."
Done
"In 1920, Puttick was appointed commander of the Fiji Expeditionary Force. This was raised following a request from the Fijian government for military forces to support local police dealing with striking labourers and farmers." Consider instead: "In 1920, Puttick was appointed commander of the Fiji Expeditionary Force, which had been raised following a request from the Fijian government for military forces to support local police dealing with striking labourers and farmers."
Done
Lacks context: "When New Zealand declared war on Germany..." When?
Rephrased.
Possible missing word here: "...to make a counterattack to support defenders of Maleme airfield...", consider: "... to make a counterattack to support the defenders of Maleme airfield..."
Done
Unclear what you mean here: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully defending the capture of the island...", do you mean: "Any meaningful chance of the Allies successfully preventing the capture of the island..."?
How did I manage to phrase it like that?! Anyway, Done
a (fair representation): b (all significant views):
No issues here.
It is stable.
No edit wars etc.:
No issues here.
It contains
images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
a (tagged and captioned): b (Is illustrated with appropriate images): c (non-free images have
fair use rationales): d public domain pictures appropriately demonstrate why they are public domain:
Images are PD and seem appropriate to the article.
Overall:
a Pass/Fail:
Looks quite good, just a few prose issues to work through / discuss.
Anotherclown (
talk) 11:46, 16 May 2013 (UTC)reply
Thanks for the review AC - all points addressed.
Zawed (
talk) 09:55, 17 May 2013 (UTC)reply