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Establish context by mentioning the country in the first sentence. The first instance of "William S. Grattan" should be bolded, while the second instance of "Edward M. Cotter" should be in italics. The sentence "At 108 years of age..." must be rewritten to exclude the age, since this will change next year—never include the age of something, but instead state the year of creation (that is static). The sentence "The Cotter mounts five water cannons or fire monitors that are capable of pumping 15,000 US gallons per minute (950 L/s)" is not mentioned elsewhere in the main body text. There is too much detail in the lead; the lead is to summarize the article, and not have too much detail about each event. Instead describe details in the respective sections. An article this short does not need a lead more than two paragraphs (but three is also okay). Look at
WP:LEAD for more details. In the history section, avoid repeating link to Buffalo, wikilink "Elizabeth City, New Jersey", and don't bold "Firefighter". There are two instance of a linked date—we just changed the MoS to not allow this. "Port Colborne Ontario" should be "Port Colborne, Ontario, Canada". "Buffalo Fire Department" is wikilinked far too often (the first mention will suffice). The two sections "National Historic Landmark" and "Friends of the Cotter" are too short, and should be merged—for instance in to "Heritage". Also avoid one-sentence paragraphs and mentioning the age of the ship. The see also section should be reduced to "List of National Historic Landmarks in New York" and "History of Buffalo, New York"; the four other articles should be provided through wikilinking their use in the article.
Do not use galleries in the mainspace (this functionality is provided for use in the user space). Instead, consider left-aligning some of the images. Please copy all the images to the Commons (
this tool makes it easy) and create a category there, using {{commonscat}} or {{commonscat-inline}} to create an external link.
Edward M. Cotter was born in 1890 in
Buffalo, New York. His parents were immigrants from
Ireland. Cotter's father, Michael had fled
Schull in
County Cork, in the 1880s. Cotter's father had secretly taught
Gaelic in Schull, which was forbidden in Ireland at that time, as it was under the rule of
Great Britain, who was trying to Anglocize all of its colonies. When Michael Cotter was proclaimed an
outlaw by the British
Landlord of Schull, the townspeople faked his death, and he stowed away on a boat to
Canada. He slowly made it down to Buffalo, where he worked in a local factory. Edward M. Cotter was the first to be born in the United States. In 1903, when Edward M. Cotter was a thirteen-year-old boy, he went to bring lunch to his father at the factory. He was bluntly informed by the
foreman that his father, Michael, had died earlier that day when a piece of machinery had fallen on him and crushed his bones. It fell upon Edward M. Cotter to support his own family. He worked various jobs throughout his teenage years, before joining the Buffalo Fire Department circa 1908. posted by a relative of Edward M. Cotter (originally posted by
User:DavidDantesX and moved from article as unsourced family history)
Shinerunner(talk)01:39, 20 September 2009 (UTC)reply
See also
The "other fireboats" section is incomplete. Chicago has a large fireboat, and multiple small fireboats. At least one of the Ohio cities on Lake Erie has one. I wonder whether these links might best be moved to
Edward M. Cotter#See also?
Geo Swan (
talk)
04:57, 23 November 2015 (UTC)reply
External links modified
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