Early career, paragraph 2: "during the blockade of Callao" (Give the year please.) "Witnessed the sinking" (Use "scuttling" since that was what happened.) Done
Early career, paragraph 2: "negotiating with Governor-General ... Casado" (Please add "of Puerto Rico". Otherwise, a reader might assume Cuba.) Done
As commanding officer, paragraph 1: Marcellus should have the prefix USS. Done-It's a mere collier, yet it's US Navy.
As commanding officer, paragraph 1: "On leaving the yard, the Brooklyn Eagle wrote that "with the departure for Norfolk of the battleship Kentucky to-morrow morning, one of the best liked officers who have ever did duty there will leave the Navy Yard". (This quote is from a 1906 newspaper account, so it needs to be moved to the end of paragraph 3, when Barry commanded the Kentucky.) Done
As commanding officer, paragraph 2: "sailors under the Vicksburg". (Change "under" to "from".) Done
As commanding officer, paragraph 4: "Following a lackluster stint at the helm". (Replace "at the helm" with "in command". Normally, "at the helm" can mean "in command". But, the previous sentence referred to a problem caused by a helmsman, and we don't want readers to think Barry was a mere helmsman.) Done
As commanding officer, paragraph 4: "...in a fleet with four other ships". (I think "fleet" is the wrong word. Suggest: "in a squadron" or "in company".) Accepted
As commanding officer, paragraph 4: Alabama should have the prefix USS. Not done-In the same sentence, Kearsarge has USS, but Alabama does not.
As commanding officer, paragraph 5: Please include Uriel Sebree's rank. Done
C-in-C, US Pacific fleet, paragraph 1: West Virginia should have the prefix USS. Done
C-in-C, US Pacific fleet, paragraph 1: Please include Giles G. Harber's rank. DoneGA reviewer enclosed "Giles G. Harber" in commas.
C-in-C, US Pacific fleet, paragraph 1: "by an English Bull Terrier who served as mascot of the USS Colorado named "Bunk"...". (Awkward wording: Move 'named Bunk' after 'English Bull Terrier'.) Done
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Djmaschek: I'm not a subject matter expert, but I was under the impression that "USS" must be used when first introducing a ship, and thereafter it can be referred to without the USS. Is this notion incorrect?
DatGuyTalkContribs08:49, 5 April 2023 (UTC)reply
Regarding "in a fleet with four other ships", I followed the wording used
here: "Of a fleet of five battleships..." The rest, excluding the query above, is done.
DatGuyTalkContribs09:24, 5 April 2023 (UTC)reply
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DatGuy: You are correct about using USS only the first time a specific US Navy ship is mentioned. I overlooked the fact that you used USS prefixes for Vicksburg and Kentucky in the introduction. However, there are a number of US Navy vessels that still need the USS prefix. I know this seems tiresome, but we need to be consistent. See "Not done" items above.
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Djmaschek: No worries. I've performed the requested USS changes. Regarding capitalising rear admiral before Giles B. Harber in the CINCPACFLT section, I'm not sure of the correct term to use but think of the sentence being "he succeeded the retiring rear admiral (who is Giles B. Harber)" rather than referring specifically to Giles and using rear admiral as a title. If that makes sense.
DatGuyTalkContribs12:58, 6 April 2023 (UTC)reply