This article is within the scope of WikiProject Hip hop, a collaborative effort to build a useful resource for and improve the coverage of
hip hop on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, visit the
project page, where you can join the project and/or contribute to the
discussion.Hip hopWikipedia:WikiProject Hip hopTemplate:WikiProject Hip hopHip hop articles
This article is within the scope of WikiProject Songs, a collaborative effort to improve the coverage of
songs on Wikipedia. If you would like to participate, please visit the project page, where you can join
the discussion and see a list of open tasks.SongsWikipedia:WikiProject SongsTemplate:WikiProject Songssong articles
I have just added archive links to one external link on
Drive Slow. Please take a moment to review
my edit. If necessary, add {{
cbignore}} after the link to keep me from modifying it. Alternatively, you can add {{
nobots|deny=InternetArchiveBot}} to keep me off the page altogether. I made the following changes:
When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true to let others know.
This message was posted before February 2018.
After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than
regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors
have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the
RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{
source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).
If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with
this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with
this tool.
I'm a little confused about the single. On the album page, it lists this song but here it says the A-side was "We Major". Which one was it?
What are you trying to say here, that the A-side was definitely the part released as a single? If so, then maybe I have found
this track listing incorrectly --
K. Peake08:20, 6 November 2020 (UTC)reply
So it failed to chart at all? If so, I'd change "Though the song received acclaim, it garnered a lack of airplay." to "However, it garnered a lack of airplay and thus failed to chart."
Does no source say it failed to chart? That's pretty odd but I guess if nothing says it then I guess that would be WP:OR. – zmbro(
talk)22:53, 6 November 2020 (UTC)reply
"which includes a feature from T.I." → "which includes a feature from rapper T.I."
I think you can ditch most of the first paragraph after ""to get Punk'd."" It starts to read more like a narrative rather than an encyclopedia article. I would keep the last sentence, and reword it to "After recording the collaboration, Wall recalled that he did not believe it was included on Late Registration until DJ Drama contacted him.[2]"
"features GLC and contains additional" remove "contains"
Not done since this separation should be here to properly differentiate between a guest appearance and additional vocals --
K. Peake07:11, 6 November 2020 (UTC)reply
"The track includes elements of jazz, which were described as being mashed with "narcotic funk."[8][9][10]"
Shouldn't it be "Which was"?
I would say who described it in this way
Done for both but only identified the publication since it is not notable here the name of the reviewer because its not reception
"The track features a light "effortless" beat groove.[6]" Change this sentence to something like "Its beat and groove were described by ____ of _____ as "light" and "effortless"" or something similar. Right now the paragraph just reads like a bunch of bullets thrown together.
"The song was included as the eleventh track" I would add 'also' or 'later' before 'included'; either would work
Done
Reception
Comment: "who generally praised the lyrical content." well of course; "My car's like the movie, my car's like the crib/I got more TVs in here than where I live/And that don't make no sense, but baby, I'm the shit" might be the greatest rap lyric of all time xD
Sorry didn't see this one. Commenting friendly. Really is one of my all-time favorite lyrics cuz of how much sense it doesn't make :-) – zmbro(
talk)15:47, 7 November 2020 (UTC)reply
While writing
my first FA, I was told that these reception sections need to flow well and not read as just a bunch of bullet points. One instance I think this is the case is "Entertainment Weekly critic David Browne opined that the song "starts with West spinning childhood stories," before "guest rappers overtake him."" I would move this to a spot where others praise the featured artists and maybe say something about how Browne thought both of them were superior; kinda like how it's always a debate over who in "Monster" was better: Kanye or Jay-Z but everyone agrees Nicki Minaj was the standout. I would check out
WP:RECEPTION for further assistance.
Not done I know what you are trying to get at here, but this part is directly after the mentions of Paul Wall's verse that are the only references to guest rappers --
K. Peake08:20, 6 November 2020 (UTC)reply
Going along with the previous comment, I would start the second para with a general summary, such as "Other reviewers praised the music itself" as this para seems to be more about the music
"the song's speed is cranked down "in a furtive nod to the 'chopped and screwed' craze," which de-emphasizes "the sound's druggy haze" while "seemingly aiming for a thoughtful brood." I think this whole bit belongs in the comp section. Seems out of place here
Not done since I have already covered the chopping and screwing there; this part is suited for reception with phrasing like "druggy haze" --
K. Peake08:20, 6 November 2020 (UTC)reply
"Despite being a critical success, the song had a lack of airplay; West himself admitted this.[24]" He admitted to what? That he was the reason for the lack of airplay? Or what exactly?
I also think this sentence is out of place here. It doesn't always have to directly copy the lead. I'd move it to release and have it be the final sentence there (just remove "Despite being a critical success"). Then you can add that because of this it failed to chart.
"West collaborator Hype Williams directed the visual, which was shot after the song had been recorded.[2]" This is kind of a no-brainer as most music videos are shot after; when you say "directed the visual" do you mean the whole thing? If so, I'd just remove this entire sentence and change the prev sentence to "An accompanying music video, directed by West collaborator Hype Williams, premiered on MTV;"
"Paul Wall said of following on from working on the song by collaborating with Williams on the music video," That's a gigantic mouthful. Change to "Wall said of his collaboration with Williams:"
" both of which are in Nevada" change this to just "in Nevada". If you don't like that, maybe try "It was filmed at multiple locations in Nevada, including Reno and the Fremont Street Experience in downtown Las Vegas."
This section in general seems out of order. Feel like "The music video features cameos from Paul Wall and T.I.[29]" should be mentioned before "that's a highlight of any artis[t's] career."
My thing is reading the section it threw me off reading Paul Wall's comment before I even knew he was in it at all. Maybe move his comment after the cameos sentence. – zmbro(
talk)23:25, 6 November 2020 (UTC)reply
Have revised this; Paul Wall's comment belongs at the start because it gives background on his involvement with the video but the fact he has a cameo should be mentioned at the start of the second para, though should the cameos that are also written about in detail be mentioned in this sentence? --
K. Peake06:51, 7 November 2020 (UTC)reply
"At two minutes and four seconds in, the Reno Arch is shown." This seems odd to say about an unreleased music video. Maybe just say "The Reno Arch makes an appearance at one point."?
Taking a look at
the source, you can see that there are separate parts of the website for editorials/columns and the community, as well as the article having an author that is clearly split from the comments anyone can write; this all signifies an RS --
K. Peake06:51, 7 November 2020 (UTC)reply
You can remove Chicago on ref 10
Italicize all uses of Late Registration in ref titles
Overall not too bad. I may have further thoughts regarding the remix section but I wanna hear your thoughts about it first before I say anything else. Should be a GA in no time :-) – zmbro(
talk)00:52, 6 November 2020 (UTC)reply
Kyle Peake Yeah I'll add some more responses tonight when I'm off work. You probably won't see them til tomorrow but it's not like I'm gonna set a time limit on this so no worries. – zmbro(
talk)15:24, 6 November 2020 (UTC)reply
There is supposed to be a limit of a week to respond to comments, but I can easily meet that. Place this on hold when you are ready! --
K. Peake21:59, 6 November 2020 (UTC)reply