Be specific with “various aspects of gameplay”. While this is the Lead, every sentence should be specific and not ambiguous so specify what aspects of gameplay are being praised.
I've corrected this. Upon reading it again, most of the gameplay was viewed negatively, so I mentioned that the storyline was praised instead JAGUAR21:24, 15 March 2016 (UTC)reply
Image needs an alt. and I would recommend using "upright"
I've added an alt. I don't know if I done something wrong, but every time I added "upright" it appeared to drastically shrink the image, so I was forced to leave that as it was JAGUAR21:24, 15 March 2016 (UTC)reply
I would reword the second sentence to avoid repetitive language and be more concise: (Before starting the game, the clay can pick a player-character and side to play.)
Link or specify the meaning behind “chokey” as I am not entirely sure what you are referring to (I could be missing something very obvious).
Oops. I didn't know what a chokey was either, but I looked it up and it appears to be slang for "prison cell" (which is what I was expecting, but I thought it was a formal use for something). It's actually
Anglo-Indian slang! I've just changed it to "prison cell". JAGUAR21:24, 15 March 2016 (UTC)reply
Just say “1800”. The “the year” part is unnecessary and redundant
Great job with this section. I am very impressed with the research put into this section and the overall article.
Thank you! It wasn't easy, but I'm certain that's all of the information that can be found on a small company in the 80s. JAGUAR21:24, 15 March 2016 (UTC)reply
Reception
I really like how you separated this section into two clear paragraphs with clearly defined topic sentences.
Thanks. I'm glad to see that there were no errors in this section this time. I was expecting this game to have more coverage, but half of the reviews were just snippets. JAGUAR21:24, 15 March 2016 (UTC)reply
References
While not required for the nomination, I would highly recommend archiving all the links when applicable to avoid dead/broken links in the future.
@
Jaguar:This article is already in great form; my comments are more focus on smaller details and once they are addressed, it will be a quick and easy pass.
Aoba47 (
talk)
04:39, 15 March 2016 (UTC)reply
@
Aoba47: thank you for the review! I've addressed all of the above. The majority of the references were scans, which can't be archived, but I did the rest. One of my main interests are in British India and I had high hopes for this game, but when I watched a playthrough video of it on YouTube it turned out to be so bad. I'm glad the article doesn't appear that way, at least! JAGUAR21:24, 15 March 2016 (UTC)reply
@
Jaguar: Great work! And I am glad that my comments could help in some way. I am very impressed with the work put into this article (especially as it is an older game and a majority of the references are scans. I am sorry that you are disappointed in the game, but at least you could make something great out of it! Looking forward to reviewing and reading your future working on here. ✓Pass
GA review (see
here for what the criteria are, and
here for what they are not)