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Reviewer:
The Rambling Man (
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14:17, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
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Comments
- The first two sentences seem to say the same thing.
- "Caswell was born in..." this para is clunky, four or five very short paras, suggest a bit of a merge to improve the flow.
- "a couple of years" not particularly encyclopedic tone.
- "year's worth of provisions for their journey to Michigan" for us non-US readers, is there some way of expressing how long this journey was?
- "they got to" ->"they arrived at the"
- "built a small ... It was built" repetitive.
- "very near its" -> "very close to its"
- "Mason County officially became a county" link "county" and what was it before it became an "official" county?!
- "a shingle mill in Ludington" link shingle mill first time.
- "from January 9, 1874 to" comma after 1874.
- "large hotel, The family returned" full stop, not comma.
- "where Caswell ten years" died?
- "... Ludington beside his first wife" this para has no references.
- Mary Caswell image is too small.
- "Edgar achieved fame as a prominent" -> "Edgar became a prominent"
- "temporary jail.[24][16][23] The" ref order.
- "Registered State Historic Site" no link?
- Maybe too many images of the house, the first and third include the same bookcase for example.
That's all I have, so it's on hold.
The Rambling Man (
Stay alert! Control the virus! Save lives!!!!)
07:43, 29 March 2021 (UTC)
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