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”Miller was traded to the Rays prior to the 2016 season, and spent the next two years first at the team's shortstop, then first baseman, and finally second baseman” – “Miller was traded to the Rays prior to the 2016 season, where he was used first as the starting shortstop, then as the starting first baseman, and finally as the starting second baseman.” (Assuming he was the starter—if not, replace the starting with a.)
“Miller spent only one month within the Brewers organization before he was released from his contract and underwent microfracture surgery to repair a torn hip labrum.” – “Miller spent only one month with the Brewers before getting released. He then underwent microfracture surgery to repair a torn hip labrum.”
”and elected free agency after he was designated for assignment by the Indians” – “and played for the Indians briefly before getting designated for assignment.” Makes clearer that he played in the major leagues for them. Don’t worry about leaving elected free agency out – the lead is not the place to be super-specific, and it can be inferred that he became a free agent based on what follows.
Done went with "made a brief appearance for" instead of "played for the Indians briefly", but I think both clarify that he had some major league games there — GhostRiver22:51, 8 August 2021 (UTC)reply
”After some time” – “After Miller spent some time”
”and quickly rose to the top of the batting statistics with a .415 average in his first 14 professional games.” – “and batted .415 in his first 14 professional games.” 14 games played wouldn’t be enough to lead the batting statistics.
”following Nick Franklin as the second Mariner rookie to score his first two career home runs in the same night” – “making him the second Mariner rookie behind childhood friend Franklin to hit his first two career home runs in the same game.”
”Going into the 2014 season, Miller's position as the Mariners' starting shortstop was put into question by the signing of Robinson Cano, which in turn pushed second baseman Nick Franklin into competition for the role” – “In 2014, the Mariners signed Robinson Cano to play second base. That put Miller into competition with childhood friend Nick Franklin for the everyday shortstop position.”
Done Reworded slightly from your suggestion, especially since "childhood friend Franklin" was mentioned earlier, but still following those broad strokes — GhostRiver23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)reply
Right. I think I was reviewing this portion out of order and hadn't yet noticed the earlier instance where you could put childhood friend. That makes more sense!
Sanfranciscogiants17 (
talk)
01:14, 9 August 2021 (UTC)reply
”His performance” – you do refer to Miller later in the sentence, but probably best to say “Miller’s performance”, to make it clear right away who you’re referring to. Then, change “won Miller” to “won him”
Might be a good idea to mention the first AL Player of the Week award. When you do, link
American League and put the AL abbreviation after it.
Done Apparently I decided not to do that earlier because the MLB.com announcement was a dead link, but I found an archive of it — GhostRiver23:17, 8 August 2021 (UTC)reply
” his performance was stronger, as he set the franchise record for most single-season home runs”
Also, that sentence isn’t accurate—Evan Longoria’s hit over 30 home runs for the Rays multiple times. If he moved to first base later in the year, he probably didn’t hit 30 home runs at any specific position. Should probably change this to read that he set a career high with 30 home runs.
Since Miller only played in the majors with two of the teams, I would merge the Dodgers section with the Indians section (titled simply, Cleveland Indians) and the Yankees section with the Phillies section (titled simply, Philadelphia Phillies, first stint)
” On March 24, 2019, Miller signed a one-year, $1 million contract with the Cleveland Indians, where he was expected to replace an injured Jason Kipnis at second base” – He did indeed fill in for Kipnis as the starting second baseman, according to
[1]. So what I would do is end the first sentence after Indians, then make the next sentence, “He began the season as the Indians’ second baseman, filling in for an injured Jason Kipnis.” Then, make the third sentence, “When Kipnis returned on May 15, Miller was designated for assignment.” Start the fourth sentence, “Miller was frustrated with the team’s choices, telling reporters…”
” 23 game hits were the highest that season” – “23 hits were the highest in a game that season”. Also, specify if this was the most in a Cardinals game or the most in an MLB game.
The way the section is currently written, it looks like Goldschmidt may have given him the gloves in addition to the mitt. Perhaps put “three different baseball gloves, as well as a first baseman’s mitt given to him by Paul Goldschmidt, depending”
Sanfranciscogiants17 Thank you for the review – I believe everything has been addressed! If I'd been chipping away at this yesterday, I'd say something about how I brought Brad luck, but he went 0-for-3 today. Silly me, all I got at the park was, uh, (checks notes) a complete game shutout from
Zack Wheeler. — GhostRiver23:38, 8 August 2021 (UTC)reply