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The parts mentioning "the Souix who hated him" seem awkward and even redundant. Can they be reworded somehow while preserving the information? --
Several Times20:00, 1 August 2005 (UTC)reply
More in line citations are required - the first sentence has two then the rest of the paragraph only has one at the end. There are several statements in the paragraph that should be cited.
Which statements are you refering to? Basically everything in the rest of that paragraph is in covered in that lone source at the end.
RG (
talk)
05:45, 7 December 2011 (UTC)reply
The same with the second paragraph, there are four citations two thirds of the way in and its not clear what cite is for what fact. I can add cn tags if that would help
(a) the prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct;
There are some close-paraphrasing issues emerging:
" Since he was of mixed blood and the Sioux were traditional enemies of the Arikara, he was often discriminated against and treated poorly by the other Sioux. Consequently, he grew a hatred for the Sioux tribe and a feud was started with a fellow Sioux named Gall." - the original is "He lived with the Sioux, who were traditional enemies of the Arikara, and was discriminated and against and treated as as an outcast due to his mixed blood. This resulted in a deep hatred for that tribe, and in particular one of his peers, Gall, with whom he developed a feud that endured for years."
" When he was about fifteen, he and his mother left his father and the Sioux to return to the Arikara at an American Fur Company trading post called Fort Clark, which was located close to modern day Stanton, North Dakota, on the Upper Mississippi River." - original is "When Bloody Knife was about fifteen years old, his mother left her husband and returned to her people at Fort Clark, an American Fur Company trading post on the Upper Missouri near present day Stanton, North Dakota."
Looking through, there are similar problems with most of the material cited from Thom Hatch and for Vandt de Logt; I haven't worked through the others, but there's quite a lot here to fix here already. I'll pause now to give a chance for folks to fix them.
Hchc2009 (
talk)
19:23, 30 January 2012 (UTC)reply
(b) it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Factually accurate and verifiable:
(a) it provides references to all sources of information in the section(s) dedicated to the attribution of these sources according to the guide to layout;
(b) it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines;
(c) it contains no original research.
Broad in its coverage:
(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;
(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias.
Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
I'm reverting the copyvio/close paraphrasing tag, as we still have a problem here. The two examples I flagged up in the GAR, for example, are still there (listed below):
Original: "He lived with the Sioux, who were traditional enemies of the Arikara, and was discriminated and against and treated as as an outcast due to his mixed blood. This resulted in a deep hatred for that tribe, and in particular one of his peers, Gall, with whom he developed a feud that endured for years."
Article version: " Since he was of mixed blood, and the Sioux were traditional enemies of the Arikara, he was often discriminated against and treated poorly by the other Sioux. Consequently, he developed a hatred for the Sioux tribe and a feud evolved between him and a Sioux named Gall. "
Original: "When Bloody Knife was about fifteen years old, his mother left her husband and returned to her people at Fort Clark, an American Fur Company trading post on the Upper Missouri near present day Stanton, North Dakota."
Article version: "When he was about fifteen, Bloody Knife and his mother left his father and the Sioux to return to the Arikara at an American Fur Company trading post called Fort Clark, which was located close to modern day Stanton, North Dakota on the Upper Mississippi River."
As before, reading through
this source, for example, a number of other examples jump out, in some cases with the text being directly copied.
Hchc2009 (
talk)
06:51, 5 March 2012 (UTC)reply
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