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The text of the entry was: Did you know ... that
Hockey Hall of FamerBill Quackenbush was promptly traded after winning the
Lady Byng Trophy for gentlemanly conduct because his manager felt any player who won it did not belong on his team?
I believe that the errors in this article have been corrected, but as I made so many corrections, I think I need a second opinion. Please review this article and add to this page what you think about it.
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
Overall
Pass/Fail:
Please don't consider this to be an "official" second opinion, but just a quick idle comment from an uninvolved outside observer. If all you are doing is correcting punctuation and fixing grammar to improve the prose, I think you are probably still fine to review, as long as you aren't actively adding or changing content. (at that point, when you are changing content you become an involved editor, IMO) When I see very minor prose problems I often just fix it myself and continue the review, as long as I'm not re-writing whole paragraphs or it is clear the whole article badly needs a copy-edit.
Aaron north (
talk)
17:40, 11 October 2010 (UTC)reply
Comments from Resolute
I was asked to copyedit this article for prose quality, but I do have some other concerns as well:
The piped link on football in Quackenbush's early life section points to American Football - seems odd that he would learn the American code rather than the Canadian. I'm led to assume that his opportunity to play pro football was in the NFL rather than one of the CFL's predecessors?
The coaching life at Princeton is odd. It goes from his coaching the men's hockey team in the 1970s to coaching the women's in the 1980s to coaching the golf team at some time in between. Could you reword that paragraph to flow a little better chronologically?
I did fix numerous minor MOS issues that will be worthwhile keeping in mind for future articles, including mixed dialect (a couple of American spellings, i.e.: "honor"), use of a single digit numeral instead of spelling out out, except where a sentence also included a two-digit number, and several instances of the same word being used in close succession.
The lead should be expanded. Spefically, I would mention his eight All-Star-Game appearances and coaching career with Princeton.
I expanded the lead to include the above.
The lead image is concerning. I'll have to find the discussion, but I am not certain that the "restrictions on use: nil" comment at the LAC actually makes this public domain, or free for our use. I'll look it up. The other image is fine.
I'm not sure if there is anything that can or should be added, but a
Google News Archive search shows quite a few good, freely available, articles on Quackenbush's career.
FYI - This image was removed from the article due to concerns over its PD status. It was nominated for deletion at the Commons, and the decision was to
keep. --
Skeezix1000 (
talk)
19:18, 2 May 2011 (UTC)reply
This image, currently being used by the article, has been
nominated for deletion at the Commons, because there are no details as to where it was taken, who took it and where it was first published (the latter point being important if it was taken in the U.S.). If anyone has any details, please share them over at the Commons. Thanks. --
Skeezix1000 (
talk)
19:29, 2 May 2011 (UTC)reply
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