I've always liked Alien (not the third one or those crappy Predator crossover movies, those don't count). This looks like a very interesting article. Expect comments by the end of the week.
JOEBRO6423:05, 17 May 2018 (UTC)reply
It was published by Sega and released for the Microsoft Windows...—I think you can cut "and released for" from this sentence, as being released is implied by "published".
Done
Could you be a bit specific as to what a "Colonial Marine" is? Wikipedia is geared to a general audience so this could possibly confuse readers who aren't familiar with the Alien mythos.
Added fictional military unit
...released for the Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 3, and Xbox 360 platforms—Similarly, I would trim "the" and "platforms".
Done
Upon release, Colonial Marines...—"Upon release" is unnecessary because most, if not all reviews are published when the game is released.
I don't think so because the reliability and subjectivity of that article is highly questionable. While the game is certainly considered a disappointment, reviews were actually not that bad and some were even positive. --
Niwi3 (
talk)
20:44, 22 May 2018 (UTC)reply
Scenarios include Team Deathmatch, where both teams must kill as many opposing players as possible, Extermination, where Colonial Marines must detonate bombs in egg-infested areas protected by Aliens, Escape, which involves Colonial Marines completing objectives to reach a destination while being assaulted by Aliens, and Survivor, where Colonial Marines must survive attacks from Aliens with limited health and ammunition resources for as long as possible. The modes should be split by semicolons because each item in this is actually a complete sentence, so using commas would make the entire thing a run-on.
Done
Alien ranks unlock new abilities for Alien characters. Such as?
Added "combat abilities". I don't think it's worth going into greater detail because they are simply a set of melee attacks, each with their own attributes. --
Niwi3 (
talk)
20:44, 22 May 2018 (UTC)reply
considerable amount of pre-production—If my understanding is correct, hyphens should only be used in "pre-"/"re-" words if it creates ambiguous meaning.
Removed hyphens
view Gearbox and Timegate disagreed with. All other instances of TimeGate capitalize the G.
Fixed
How much of the game was actually made by Gearbox is highly questioned. Questioned by whom?
However, without considering Gearbox's pre-production time—See my previous comment on the hyphen in "preproduction".
Fixed
Marketing and release
The game was officially announced—If my understanding is correct, general consensus is that official is an unnecessary qualifier. In most contexts no one will assume these things were unofficial if you don't specify.
Colonial Marines would be released in Spring 2012 ... fall 2012...—
WP:SEASON.
Fixed
Is there a reason the Wii U version was canceled? The source seems to indicate that it was canceled in favor of Shoot Many Robots and an unspecified project, but I just wanted to double-check.
The source does not clarify why it was canceled. I suspect it was canceled due to the game's negative critical reception, but I couldn't find a reliable source to back it up. --
Niwi3 (
talk)
20:44, 22 May 2018 (UTC)reply
Downloadable content
but it is unclear who assisted Gearbox with the development of Stasis Interrupted. Could this be worded a bit better? From my experience "it was", "it is", etc.-like statements are considered
unclear.
Electronic Gaming Monthly, the only notable publication which gave the game a very positive review—This strikes me as a bit
WP:ORy and
WP:NPOV. Furthermore, it is probably incorrect: The Guardian, which is certainly notable,
gave the game 4/5 stars.
Removed "the only notable publication which gave the game a very positive review" part. Also, I added The Guardian review to the reviews table and to support other statements in the prose. Nice find. --
Niwi3 (
talk)
20:44, 22 May 2018 (UTC)reply
Just as a general note for the entire article: I noticed instances of both American and British variants of English being used (i.e. "per cent" and "cancelled" but also "criticize" and "license"). I know this probably wasn't intentional, but I'd pick one or the other.
Went for American English because it's an American game. For some reason, I thought "cancelled" was American English. --
Niwi3 (
talk)
20:44, 22 May 2018 (UTC)reply
@
TheJoebro64: Thank you for your review, really appreciated! I'm currently at work now, so I'll address the above issues once I'll get home. Regards --
Niwi3 (
talk)
08:53, 22 May 2018 (UTC)reply
I have addressed all the issues and left some comments above (some of the issues were fixed by Popcornduff, who copy-edited the article). Let me know what you think. Thanks --
Niwi3 (
talk)
20:44, 22 May 2018 (UTC)reply